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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if you are happy living where you are now?

138 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 10/09/2014 22:27

And if not, where would you like to move to if you were in a position to do so?

I live in a lovely little market town and it's where I grew up. It's beautiful, surrounded by country, I have great friends here and dd is settled in her school.
However, i miss urban life, the culture, the opportunities, the work scene. , the men.

If I could I'd move to the nearest big city Bristol which I love but I'm a single mum and I fear a move as I have a lot of support here.

OP posts:

Strokethefurrywall · 11/09/2014 03:36

Yes, very happy. Live in the Caribbean so hard not to love it really.

Having said all that, if I had my choice of anywhere else to live after here, I'd head to NYC or Perth, Australia.

Love the buzz of NYC and love the outdoorsy lifestyle of Perth.

Chottie · 11/09/2014 03:49

Garlic that sounds very tough. Some people are just so closed to new people and opportunities.

I've lived in the same area all my life. It's 10 miles from the the centre of London and is the suburbs. But there are lots of green, leafy parks around and it's easy to get to the coast and there are excellent transport links. The only trouble is that there is so much building going on and the area is more and more crowded with the resulting squeeze on roads, services, schools etc.

PalmTrees · 11/09/2014 04:16

Yes, I'm in a city I'd never considered living in (we're overseas) but I soon as we visited I knew it was my place in the world. We live in the suburbs which have fantastic schools, parks and sporting facilities but within very easy reach of the city centre and all the restaurants, theatres and attractions there.
To top it all, the city is surrounded by lakes and mountains in one direction and white sand beaches in the other. I feel very lucky and hope to always live here.

LittlePeaPod · 11/09/2014 05:03

I can honestly say DH and I are in our forever house and unless something drastic occurs we want to bring our DC up here.

We live on the outskirts of a lovely Yorkshire town situated about 45 mins / 1 hour in the car from Manchester and Leeds. We have great schools, low level crime and great social facilities (sports etc.). Having spent a lot of time in cities it was lovely when we moved in and most of the street sent us welcome to your new home cards. They also sent cards congratulating us and small token gifts when they found out DD was born. We thought it was very thoughtful considering we were new to the street. I love where we live

LittlePeaPod · 11/09/2014 05:06

Garlic that sounds awful.

weegiemum · 11/09/2014 05:07

Yes, happy. I love living in Glasgow.

velocity1 · 11/09/2014 06:07

It's a modern box owned by a housing association, but we've been here 18 years, my children have grown up here, and it's our home. We have no plans to move until we have to, which is why I am currently trying to persuade my kids that they are happy living at home forever

ernesttheBavarian · 11/09/2014 06:16

I live on the outskirts of Munich and absolutely love it. We had planned to move back to UK at some point but now really think I'l retire and die here. I no longer want to move back to the UK and slowly, bit by bit I love it a teeny bit more every day.

I love the dirndl and Lederhosen, the Biergarten, the mountains and fresh air, the fact everything is so clean and well maintained and that it just works, and on time. It's a nice mixture of relaxed and fun but also eel run iyswim.

ikeaismylocal · 11/09/2014 06:28

I am happy where we live, the happiness has only come since I had dc. We live in a suburb of Stockholm, it's around 20 minutes on the train/car from central Stockholm and consequently the area we live in doesn't have it's own strong identity or any entertainment as everyone goes into Stockholm to go to the theatre, galleries, shops, out to eat. Before I had dc I commuted into the city and I felt like the area we lived in was just somewhere to sleep. Since ds has been born I love it here, we are a couple of minute walk from the Forest and the lake and we swim in the lake most days in the summer, we go ice skating with ds in a little sledge in the winter and we pick berries and mushrooms from the forest. There are lots and lots of playgrounds and playgroups.

I have got to know lots of other people who live locally and have children, I have been happily surprised about how many other immigrants there are, many of the people I have met through parenting groups and playgroups have a foreign born partner or are foreign themself, there are lots of European immigrants, I have Finnish, German, Spanish, British and Australian friends but because they don't look hugely different to the swedes I wouldn't have realised we had such a diverse community until I had a reason to chat to people.

We need to move at some point as we only have one bedroom and soon 2 dc, dc1 still co-sleeps and he would do even if we lived in a mansion so we don't need extra rooms right now but we will do at some point in the next 4/5 years.

seasavage · 11/09/2014 07:44

I hate where I live. It's a small part of a small town. I don't know anyone and the majority of the school mums know each other vaguely (through school? Playgroups?). We moved here 2 years ago. We need to live in the midlands (for DH work which is everywhere). Neither of us know anyone.
Plus my two sets of neighbours take the piss (quite openly) over my accent.
Definitely avoid the Midlands IME.

MissPenelopeLumawoo · 11/09/2014 07:52

Careful what you wish for. Bristol has terrible school place problems, gets even worse for senior. Property is expensive and the situation at the moment with the rubbish bus service combined with a mayor who is doing away with a lot of parking spaces means getting around is going to get more and more challenging in the future. There is lots of green space though and its close to the countryside. Not sure about the men .. mine was imported from outside Bristol

firstchoice · 11/09/2014 08:02

Rural Scotland.
HATE HATE HATE it.
Schooling's awful.
Village is insular and unfriendly and, now, nakedly racist too.
My children have heard me being told to 'fuck off back to where you came from'.
If you didn't grow up here, or have a least 5 cousins, you can go to hell.
No transport.
No jobs.

Yes, it's pretty, but most of it is fenced off and belonging to local Estates who wont let you roam anyway.

I am trying to GET OUT but houses not selling

PixieofCatan · 11/09/2014 08:10

I'm blah about where I live. I don't like that my landlords probably don't declare income from having lodgers so if they're discovered we'll be thrown out, but equally, until we can afford to not be lodgers we're almost always going to be in that situation.

I want to move out of the city I live in, only up the road, but the city is becoming harder and harder for drivers to live in and our work is further north, so it'd make more sense for us to live closer to it. It's also very expensive in the city.

We are paying very cheap rent at the moment though, so we're staying for now. If something we like comes up we'll go for it, but we can afford to take our time.

whois · 11/09/2014 08:23

Central london zone 1 in a nice flat overlooking some greenery (and also a roundabout but I ignore that).

Yup amazingly happy living here.

I would quite like a garden and a cat but am not ready to move to zone 3 yet.

ikeaismylocal · 11/09/2014 08:25

Firstchoice that sounds horrendous, I hope you can move soon.

minkymuskyslyoldstoaty · 11/09/2014 08:32

i live in a beautiful part of the west country. holiday makers haven.
but i often crave city life. my only reason for not thinking seriously about moving is that my dd is happy at secondary. it's a sought after school.
as a single mum i get bored by the lack of things to do and there aren't many men here.
sometimes i really feel lonely.

Electriclaundryland · 11/09/2014 08:35

I'd move out of Scotland in a heart beat.

cricketpitch · 11/09/2014 09:06

I was happy as could be for many years here but greedy neighbours moved in. Fighting over parking and illegal building, (The Council are useless - "no provable harm" and they can breach any permissions they like). Small scale damage to cars and plants, campaigns of unpleasant gossip, subletting to large numbers for profit without care for the community. Pity. So, I will be moving as soon as I can afford it.

ReputableBiscuit · 11/09/2014 09:25

why, electriclaundryland?

firstchoice · 11/09/2014 09:28

ikea - thank you.

It is. I was brought up to believe owning your own house was a thing to aspire to / achieve. It has been a huge horrible trap.

notfromstepford · 11/09/2014 09:29

I love where I live in a village, surrounded by countryside, but only 20 min drive to town.

However much I love it, I wish I was living in the Algarve, I love it there and if I had a job to go to or a sound business to set up I would move in a heartbeat.

Charitybelle · 11/09/2014 09:30

I like where we live in an outer London suburb, as neither I nor my dh are from here, but we made a calculated decision to buy a house somewhere commutable to London, with decent schools and amenities, but relatively low (at the time) house prices. I realise how lucky I am to have a 3 bed house with a garden, and a relatively short commute to town, but a small piece of my heart does long to live by the sea. I think we're still too young, and as neither of us grew up in the country we are prob unrealistic about what a more rural lifestyle entails. So for now we'll stay where we have work and friends, and shelve the dreams of rolling hills and ocean views for retirement

externalwallinsulation · 11/09/2014 09:34

firstchoice - I moved to a rural village also, but not a picturesque market town - this was more Royston Vesey. I had similar problems getting out again. It took me over a year to sell my house (the recession didn't help) in spite of it being well presented (owing to an incident created by my ex, the entire ground floor had just been redecorated). Meanwhile, people I knew who were selling in urban areas were having their places snapped up like nothing on earth. I honestly thought I'd never get out.

But I did! And when it happened, it happened really fast. What I wanted to say was: you WILL get there. Hang in.

I have now moved to a city, and am so very much happier. Everything I need is within a stone's throw of my house, and there is more than one takeaway and pubs and bars that open after 11pm. Also, the community is more diverse, people don't walk around carrying guns/dead chickens and the far-right is far less visibly 'present'. For me, it's been a brilliant change.

RosesandRugby · 11/09/2014 09:36

I hate it.....the house is awful its a 1970's architect design so really really dated and very expensive to repair due to the quirkiness of it.

The schools are beyond dreadful, the local high school was in the bottom 10 in the country for 5 years running. Its only just managed to get above the 30% pass rate at GCSE's after being turned into an Academy.

The town is dead, just full of charity shops, 14 on the last count, with no childrens or mens shops of any description so I have to travel/internet shop for childrens/husbands clothes/toys etc. I also have to travel to another town or purchase online gifts for birthdays etc. Even the weekly shop involves a 20 mile round trip because the shops in the town are so poorly stocked with very little choice.

The big named stores started leaving 15 years ago when the council put up the business rates and they haven't returned despite the population almost doubling in 10 years. There's new houses everywhere but if you want to decorate your house you have to get in your car and drive to the next town just to buy a tin of paint.

On the plus side houses a very very cheap, which is why my OH purchased this house 20 years ago. If we sold it we could not afford to buy anywhere else in this region.

And the locals really aren't welcoming at all. If you're not related then you're not welcome. I'm not a local and i'm not related so that makes me the enemy. I've had years of petty damage to my property. Scratched cars, spray paint on the front door, removing of plants out the garden and just leaving them in a pile on the lawn. I have 1 friend who is also not a local and she's had the same.

Why don't we move ? Because the house did not sell despite being on the market for over 3 years (several feedback said it was too posh and therefore to expensive to maintain ffs !) and because my Darling Husband refuses to travel more than 15 minutes to work each day because it will affect HIS quality of life.......not quite grounds for divorce but I'm coming to the end of my tether with living here. My poor children have to live in this hostile dead end town because their father wont travel for more then 15 minutes to work.

I would live anywhere at all that has a coffee shop in the town and a park and a reasonable high school.

Ellisisland · 11/09/2014 09:39

Yep very. Moved from London to Bath last year after having DS. Love where we are now. Family close by and lovely area to take DS out and about. Have the feel of a city without the stress that came with life in London. My job is good and enjoyable but also a lot more family friendly and we are both home by 5:30 every night so actually get quality time with DS in the evenings

Am pregnant with DS2 now and happy to stay here. May move to a bigger house at some point but would stay in the area.

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