Card for friend with cancer - appropriate or not?

[lill72]

I bought a card for a friend with cancer and though I meant it to be uplifting - am not sure they will take the wrong way

It has a picture of the sea with the words ' Love, Laugh, Live'

I meant this to be inspirational but not sure the word 'live' is a good choice in this context. what do you think?

A 'thinking of you' card would be nice. I don't think I would send that card.

I agree, 'Thinking of you' would be better.

I remember when we got a New Years card from a close relative who knew exH was very ill and facing a bone marrow transplant when he was fit enough, and it said something like "wishing you a happy and peaceful NY". And my immediate thought was "how stupid, you know we've got a shit year ahead that won't be either happy or peaceful."

I wouldn't sent it - the 'live' bit rather implies that she might not live and that this is something she has control over.

I think a 'thinking of you' card would be more appropriate.

Of course, I hope your friend soon recovers.

Yep. Choose a different card.

I have cancer and although I wouldn't mind that card (because I would know the person meant well), if it caught me at a bad moment, it might upset me. I think a blank card with a "sorry you're having a hard time / thinking of you" type message would be better.

card, yes, definitely.

that one, probably not. 'inspirational' implies you can think your way out of cancer, which you can't.

just a local scene with a blank card and the kind of wording suggested above.

I wish card makers would produce a better range for this type of scenario. A lot of the ones that are intended for something sad have mournful pictures like sunsets and autumnal trees that just send totally the wrong messages to someone facing serious illness. But other cards are so stupidly positive that's ending them feels like a failure to acknowledge the issue. (I fear this may be the case with the one you've chosen, OP).

It would be nice to have a range of cards that found some elegant way of saying 'this is really shit and unfair, but I will be there for you throughout'.

Definitely not that card, I know you meant well, but it's not the one to send.

'Thinking of you' or a blank card would be much better.

Agree with PolyesterBride having been through the wringer which is cancer.

Polyester, all the best from one survivor to another.

Thanks all - def not sending. Heading out to get another now more along the lines of what you say...

I always go for a blank card in situations like that. One with a nice arty picture and not one that could possible look like a 'sympathy' card (ie no flowers/sunsets etc). Then I write my own message.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/188471535/letterpress-fight-cancer-card-pink?ref=cat_gallery_3&ga_search_query=fuck+cancer+card&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=GB&ga_search_type=all

I sent a card to a friend with cancer that had a funny cat picture on it and was blank inside. I then had the space to write what I wanted to say inside but also give her a laugh from the front.

Just a pretty picture or funny(depending her her soh) one or thinking of you

I have cancer and have received many of these sorts of cards. I'm sure they might be a comfort for some people but to me a card saying "thinking of you" is the sort of thing people send when someone has died. I cried every time dropped through the letter box DH screens the post now as I just don't want to see them. I mean it's not the sort of thing I'm going to display on my mantelpiece. I don't want to be reminded that I'm seriously ill every time I sit on the sofa.

Just my opinion of course.

Another one with cancer here :(
I wouldn't send it either it could be taken the wrong wrong. That etsy one us awful too
I did have a lot of cards the best ones were the ones who I felt hadn't written me off. Wine and chocolates were the most appreciated !

Sorry but I think the etsy 'cancer can suck it' is truely awful. I too think that the thinking of you cards are a bit too much like a sympathy card.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer over 7 years ago, my husband's boss (who I've never met or even spoken to) sent me a card which kept me going through many a dark day. It said something like "a misty morning does not signify a cloudy day". It really spoke to me. His wife had experienced cancer too. The tone and unfussiness was just right.

I've been there too, and I wouldn't particularly like to get that card, but I see you've already decided against it. That etsy one is truly awful.

The nicest ones I received were handwritten blank cards.

On a slightly different tack:
The most unsuitable "Get Well" card I ever saw said "Hope you're back on your feet again soon" . . . sent to someone who'd lost both legs in a motorway crash

I wouldn't go with a "Thinking of You" type card either, I agree it's funeral-y (OH with cancer). Is it so hard just to get a card with a nice picture rather than one covered in potentially awkward sayings/words?

I don't see why it's always a card that has to be sent. What's the matter with putting pen to notepaper and making it a more personal message? Perhaps with a relevant doodle on it.

Another cancer person here. Don't send it.
Personally I really enjoyed and appreciated the cards that lightened the mood a bit. Never like the Get Well Soon variety - as if it was just a nasty dose of flu I was facing.

LadyMud - That really made me laugh. My bad.

The Etsy one is not right - it just misses the mark but I'm not quite sure why? Does it seem to make light of cancer, maybe?

Oh my god NO!!
I usually send a blank one (I mean it's blank when i buy it, I do write in it!)one with a nice view or flowers or a joke depending on the recipients age sex and relationship with me.