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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have told my children that whilst cleaning the pit they call a bedroom I found

83 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 09/09/2014 20:04

138 spiders. A colony of wild rats and 2 empty capri sun cartons crawling with maggots?

I only tidied their room last week. It's a total pit again.

They get £5 a week (or rather they don't get) pocket money for keeping their room clean. Clearly this is not enough of an incentive.

I know I shouldn't clean it for them but the mess bothers me greatly.

Of course when they go to bed I will tell them I removed all the insects and pests and as long as they stay clean they shouldn't come back.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Yambabe · 10/09/2014 00:51

Agree with the pp who said about putting stuff on the bed. I used to do this with DS.

He still lives at home at 28 and his room is a LOT tidier than the rest of the house!

TheWoollybacksWife · 10/09/2014 01:04

I have older DDs. They are expected to keep their rooms clean and tidy and more often than not they are fine as long as I ignore the floordrobes

If they are away then I go in with their permission and gut them. When DD1 left for Uni she left a big box of stuff that she didn't want any more and she asked me to dispose of it. Most of it was for the recycling or charity but I decided to have a little root through it - just in case her younger sister could use any of it. I found a £10 WH Smith voucher and a £20 Next voucher - both unused. I checked with her that everything in the box was rubbish and used them to buy her a book and socks and undies for her Christmas stocking.

I regularly find at least a couple of pounds in change in their rooms when I Hoover. I consider it wages for reuniting all the single socks that live under their beds.

checkeredpresent · 10/09/2014 02:15

Never mind the dcs....I regularly move all of DH's floordrobe, books, receipts, coins, sweet wrappers etc from next to his side of the bed onto his pillow in the hope that he will have to deal with if he wants to sleep. No. He moves it back to the floor, I move it to the pillow etc etc.

Mess is definitely a male issue in this house. I have 2 quite civilised dds....ds on the other hand lives in a dark den of rotting wet towels and half drunk mugs of tea. I am thinking of making a "Condemned" sign then putting police tape across the door and making him sleep on the sofa.

CKDexterHaven · 10/09/2014 03:41

My mum used to tell me about finding spiders. It put me off cleaning my bedroom!

sashh · 10/09/2014 05:56

I dump everything I find on the floor on their beds, so they have to shift it before they can get in

At age 10 I happily slept on/in a cardboard box (a desk had been delivered in it) whilst my bed had a dolls house on it.

PixieofCatan · 10/09/2014 08:31

Fossilised frog is the best thing I've heard in ages! I tidied my sisters room (for a couple of quid!) when I was about 10 or so, I found a fossilised peach and some mouldy undies

sashh I did similar at that age, I think it was a wooden box or something I'd been playing with, and instead of tidying the clothes off of my bed to sleep, I tipped the my little ponies out of the box and slept in that.

Stinkle · 10/09/2014 08:37

I might have to try that, I'm sick of the state my daughters' bedrooms.

I do the stick it all on their bed thing - they then chuck it all back on the floor when they get into bed.

I've also stuck everything in binbags - 6 months later it's all still in the garage, they haven't noticed anything missing yet

My policy is now door shut at all times!

My mum once told me she found cockroaches in my room, certainly made me keep it tidier for about 2 weeks

I once found a dead goldfish behind a chest of drawers in DD1's room -I wondered where it had gone, but assumed the cat had had it

GooseyLoosey · 10/09/2014 08:54

I give them an hour. If there is anything where it should not be at the end of that hour, it goes in the bin. Whatever it is.

It works - just shouting "the hour starts now" has them feverishly tidying up. I just wish I had a solution for the way they just drop things on the floor all over the rest of the house and assume somehow that it will disappear.

Original poster

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/09/2014 09:26

I'm not sure they'd even notice if I put things on their bed. I have found actual rubbish along with dirty clothes and underwear in dd1's bed before. Dd2 is tidier but not by much. She sweeps all of her mess off the bed and kicks it all under the bed before getting in.

I might try giving them an hour and then binning/hiding everything. Although the only thing they have they really care about is their pet rats and I can't really hide them in bin bags.

They are capable of cleaning things. They take great care in ensuring their rats are cleaned, fed, watered, entertained and fussed over daily.

I could threaten to rehome their rats but I think that would send the wrong message. I don't want them believing that pets are disposable or a reward for behaving well.

OP posts:

PixieofCatan · 10/09/2014 10:32

Aw, at least they care for the rats! I'm amazed that they manage to do that daily actually, I was awful with my pet hamsters as a child Luckily my Mum looked after them!

Are the rats in their bedroom with them? You could say that they'll be removed from the bedroom if it can't be kept tidy? If they free range it'll be extra incentive for keeping the room tidy as you can't really free range a rat in a messy room voice of bitter experience

If they don't free range them it could be something to suggest as an incentive if the room is rat proofed?

HalfTheSky · 10/09/2014 10:41

How old are they?

If they're not bothered by the mess or the lack of pocket money then I think you're onto a losing streak.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference."

QueenTilly · 10/09/2014 10:47

Tell them the mess is dangerous for the rats.

Original poster

D0oinMeCleanin · 10/09/2014 11:12

The rats used to get free range time when we first got them and their room was tidier. We'd just moved. The novelty of having a bigger room kept them tidy for a few weeks.

Now free range time consists of them kicking the mess to the edge of the room and building a make shift rat pen from storage boxes and books.

I'm going to tell them I've been studying rat behaviour and rats kept in messy rooms show greater signs of stress than rats kept in clean rooms. That might work on dd2. She adores her rats.

OP posts:

PixieofCatan · 10/09/2014 11:48

That's pretty much what our mischief's free range time consists of at the moment Put the mess into the corner they don't like (most open corner).

You could also go through the scenario of "What if they escape your make-shift pen during free range time." with them. They may get lost in the mess or injured by something on the floor or in the mess. They'll get stressed as the children get stressed at having 'lost' them. They may be injured by the children moving things trying to find them.

KatieKaye · 10/09/2014 12:13

Tell them what is to be done and what the sanctions are for not doing it, E.g. Removal of phones, iPods, laptops etc for a week plus additional chores. That was the only thing that worked for me.
Make life easier for yourself by banning all food and drinks from bedrooms.

Dunkling · 10/09/2014 12:17

My two teenage boys have their own bathroom that they are expected to keep respectfully clean and tidy, but I do the actual cleaning 3 times a week. If I ever come to do it and find, as I periodically do, pee on the floor, seat and encrusted on the loo rim, soap and scummy soaked flannel in bottom of basin, soaked floor from not using bathmat etc, I charge them for my cleaning it... usually the full weekly pocket money rate. Same as stopping pocket money of course but it makes them think more about why.

KatieKaye · 10/09/2014 12:27

Surely it is easier to stand over them while they do the actual cleaning, Dunkling? As well as docking the pocket money, of course.
As your teens keep on leaving their bathroom in a disgusting mess your practice of cleaning up their squalor isn't working because they aren't thinking "more about why", but just continuing on as before. I'd be worried about their disrespectful attitude in leaving their crap for you to deal with like you are their servant.
Continuing to clean their filth is enabling their behaviour and gives no reason for them to start behaving like civilised human beings.

Redhead11 · 10/09/2014 12:34

It sounds like an awful lot of people are afraid of telling their kids what to do. You are the adult, they are the child, teen or not, and they do what they are told! removing the electronic devices is a tried and tested punishment that works wonders. Why should i clean up their mess? I am not a skivvy! How are these entitled teens going to manage in the real world? Oh - are they going to be the ones who stay at home forever, while Mummy does all their washing and ironing and cleaning? Yeah, they've got it sussed!

superbagpuss · 10/09/2014 12:38

mine are only 5 but I started them early

beds are to be made in the morning

I expect toys to be put away and the floor cleared so we can hoover at least once a week (dt1 likes hoovering so we are letting him do it)

ANd recently they have started putting clothes away in drawers while being supervised - the only thing they can't manage is hanging up stuff.

I'm hoping good habits now will pay off in the future.

FryOneFatManic · 10/09/2014 12:48

I do make sure my two clean up on a regular basis, but I did find a mouldy sandwich in a plastic bag once, in DD's room.

I use confiscation of electrical items a good way to restore order. They know why things get taken away and how long for, it's always specific (but not the same every time, depends on the offence).

NoMoreMarbles · 10/09/2014 12:53

i need a strategy to force inspire DD to clean her room! it is a total pigsty!

i will be watching this thread with interest! :)

QueenTilly · 10/09/2014 13:18

Decaying food is a health hazard for the rats. Both in itself, and because it encourages insects. Wild insects can carry parasites, and pet rats don't know about that. They just think, "snack!"

Tell the girls that. Also, post rat pictures. I missing having rats!

PixieofCatan · 10/09/2014 13:27

Queen I was resisting asking for photos, thanks for asking

Good point RE food, though, definitely restrict food in their room as it can cause issues for rats, especially if it's something that they shouldn't be having. Citrus and male rats could be an issue in itself long term (assuming capri sun and the likes have actual juice in them these days ) along with parasites and bugs, but more immediate issues could be choking. One of our babies choked last week. It was really scary. She managed to clear the blockage after a minute or so but was throwing up, dribbling and generally lethargic for a good half hour afterwards.

(here are my bundles of gorgeousness www.mumsnet.com/Talk/super_furry_animals/2160097-Rats-rats-rats )

QueenTilly · 10/09/2014 13:34

Oooh, good point. It's been so long (damn you, no pets contracts!) that I'd forgotten about citrus.

PixieofCatan · 10/09/2014 13:40

We'll be fucked when we have to move by the no pets thing. Since getting the boys in January I've only seen one or two places that allowed pets advertised. I haven't properly looked though tbh, but it won't be fun trying to find somewhere! Especially as we have two cages. We've spayed our baby girls but we won't be down to one cage until our older girl passes away, she's supposedly a year and a half so we may have a long time of two cages ahead of us!

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