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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help! Have sent h a text meant for my sister...

22 replies

textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 12:38

Not strictly speaking an aibu, sorry, but posting for traffic and possible knowledge!

Composed a long text to my sister this morning about my husband. To my horror found that I had sent it to him Shock. The only saving grace was that it was a long message and so my phone will only send it as an MMS message if I turn on mobile data. Luckily my mobile data was off at the time. The other saving grace is that if my husband were to receive it, he would presumably also need to turn on mobile data and he doesn't know how to on his phone (as yet!!).

So I went back to the message and deleted it in the hope that that might delete it from the airwaves as well but am guessing that once I pressed send there is no going back??

Am now considering never turning on my mobile data again (and it does come in handy when out) and / or trying to discover h's password, getting hold of his phone when he is sleeping and trying to a. open the message from me and b. delete it. Neither of these scenarios are great.

So my question is - will the fact that I deleted the message before it went through mean that my h doesn't get it? This is what I am hoping but seeing as I had already pressed send, I don't think so.

This just goes to prove how rubbish my relationship with my husband really is because in a better one I a. wouldn't feel the need to complain about him to my sister and b. might be able to talk to him instead Sad.

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 09/09/2014 12:43

Deleting the message after pressing send won't mean that he doesn't get it. Why do you feel you can't talk to him?

NynaevesSister · 09/09/2014 12:43

Personally I think you should tell all this to your husband and say clearly you guys need counselling or similar. I can't imagine complaining to friends or family about anything about my OH that I wouldn't also have talked to him about.

ThirdPoliceman · 09/09/2014 12:44

whoops!
I haven't a clue but I sent my son a huge rangy sort your life out text (I admit I did go on a bit) and pressed send. He never got it and still thinks he is the best son since sons were invented.
There is hope for you. Will you take this as a sign that you need to discuss your issues with your DH? Good luck, Texting.

Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 19:31

Thank you. Have temporarily shelved the issue by resolving never to turn on mobile data Blush.

One of the many issues we have is not being able to talk. Or at least I feel I can never bring anything up without risking an argument so I don't do it anymore. H seems to be perfectly happy with the status quo.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/09/2014 19:34

Steal his phone, turn on mobile data, waot for text, delete, then return the phone?

Or LTB?

Hollycopter · 09/09/2014 19:35

It's OK, if you deleted the message before turning on mobile data then it won't have sent and won't send when you turn mobile data back on.

Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 19:41

Are you sure hollycopter? That's what I was hoping. (I had pressed send but had not yet turned on the mobile data). That would be really great news. Have had a headache all day and felt kind of dead to the world and am sure the text incident has had something to do with it.

think I was thinking it might actually be easier to LTD! !

OP posts:
Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 19:42

I mean LTB

OP posts:
JustAShopGirl · 09/09/2014 19:45

go into your sent messages list and see if it is there or in the outbox - if in the sent messages I don't think you can do anything more than you are doing, if in the outbox you can delete it.

pengymum · 09/09/2014 19:47

Check your outbox - if I try to send MMS msg without data switched on, I get an error msg and msg stays in outbox until I delete it or resend.

Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 19:54

Thx for messages and suggestions. I don't have / or can't find an outbox - I have a Samsung galaxy s4.

OP posts:
roses2 · 09/09/2014 20:28

If it is in sent then it's gone to him

If it's still in the outbox, he won't have received it

Hollycopter · 09/09/2014 20:32

Sorry, had to put the baby to bed. Yes, Im sure. I've got a samsung too, there's no outbox for txt/mms messages, they just appear as a conversation.

RitzyTurnip · 09/09/2014 20:36

I've got a Samsung.

If you go into Messaging (not an individual text, just the envelope) and then press the bottom left button, it then brings up a menu.

In that menu is draft and scheduled folder, is the message in there??

HTH

Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 20:44

No ritzy it's not in the draft or scheduled sections.

Thanks holly, will relax now Smile.

Thanks to everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
textingdisaster · 09/09/2014 20:49

And that'll teach me to moan about anyone by text!

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 09/09/2014 21:02

I've done similar. Sent DH a text intended for best friend about how insanely broody I was (and it did indeed read like I was quite insane).

It certainly got my point across.

Only we'd been together a whole 6 months at the time Blush. He still teases me about it almost 6 years later.

I do think you need to talk to him though, is it him who gets het up when you're trying to talk and then it turns into an argument?

PhaedraIsMyName · 09/09/2014 21:19

Try to send yourself an MMS but don't switch data on. (You can do that to check your settings are working) Then delete it. Switch data back on I'm sure it is not retrievable.

PhaedraIsMyName · 09/09/2014 21:22

I've just tested that on a Samsung galaxy. As long as you delete the message before data is enabled it's gone for good.

maddening · 09/09/2014 21:24

Can you test it with your dsis - call her, explain what happened and then do phaedra's idea but to dsis' phone.

Personally would turn on mobile data when Dh's phone is available and you have the opportunity to delete it if it comes through.

maddening · 09/09/2014 21:25

Ps which phone do you have - maybe a mner can test for you?

PhaedraIsMyName · 09/09/2014 21:28

My test should be enough although it will work equally well if OP wants to try it sending to her sister.

If it's of any comfort Tmobile seem to no longer

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