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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell them to shut up

43 replies

0pheliaBalls · 09/09/2014 12:10

Just got on a bus, only seat free was the priority seating for elderly/disabled passengers. I am registered disabled and have a concessionary disabled bus pass, however my disability isn't a 'visible' one. It does mean that I can't stand/walk for very long, though.

Anyway, the elderly ladies in the seats next to and behind mine are having a very loud conversation about how disgusting it is that young (ooh, thanks!), able bodied people take up the priority seats, are selfish, etc etc. Everyone's looking at me and I feel so embarrassed and like crying.

I don't want to announce my personal health details to a busful of strangers but WIBU to stand up and tell them all to shut the fuck up?

(I probably won't though )

OP posts:

lorriehearts · 09/09/2014 13:36

Just stopping by the thread to offer some and support, OP. One of my closest friends is visibly disabled, and I'm still (naively!) surprised by the shit she gets from people with far more mouth than human decency.

Good on you for flashing that pass - just sorry you found yourself in that position xx

Aeroflotgirl · 09/09/2014 13:38

They are disgusting, being older is no excuse for being rude and insolent. Please don't let it worry you, next time flash your bus pass as soon as the gossips tongue starts wagging. Ignorant idiots.

YouTheCat · 09/09/2014 13:39

There are some awful twats in the world.

NewEraNewMindset · 09/09/2014 13:40

Oh you poor love, I can really feel the upset in your posts. Im afraid some older people have nothing better to do than pick fault and try and find problems.

I like the idea of getting on the bus sitting down and opening your disability badge on your lap. You should do it.

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 09/09/2014 13:43

I'm sorry you felt the need to get off. Next time try to hold it together and make them feel bad! Get your badge out and put it on your lap & give them this look , you don't have to say anything.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 09/09/2014 13:53

So sorry you've had this I'm recovering from a neurological condition, it's transient so no pass but I really can't stand on the bus for long.

It's made me scared to go out. Three DC and I got the bus with the dog two months ago, we stood as there were no seats but I was too scared to ask for one. At our stop an older lady pushed my youngest ds to get past him as he was holding on to the rail for balance, I held him up and stood in front of her so they could get off the bus safely.

Some people are just so entitled and selfish it doesn't occur to them that other people struggle much more than them, and unless they are wearing a neon flashing badge detailing their disability they don't feel obliged to be even slightly considerate to others.

BsshBosh · 09/09/2014 13:58

I would have quietly shown them my badge. I know it may not have stopped them but for many it would have made them think again in the future - a valuable lesson in not making judgements...

to you anyway. How horrible to have had to listen to that.

DoJo · 09/09/2014 14:04

OP - I hope you live near me, because if I ever saw or heard something like this happening on a bus I was on I would give them what for. It's such a shame that often those who are the most physically and/or emotionally fragile are put in positions where they need to either take on the small-minded idiots who cannot see beyond the end of their own noses or suffer in silence from this kind of spite.

blanklook · 09/09/2014 14:10

Anyway, even if you weren't disabled, if it was the only free seat, it's the only free seat. No point standing when you don't have to, as long as any able-bodied person using the seat got off it when someone else who needed it boarded the bus.

But how would you know who needed it when someone with a hidden disability like hypotonia got on the bus.

bonkersLFDT20 · 09/09/2014 14:35

blank Couldn't they just ask for the seat? It seems proper daft to leave a seat empty just in case someone needs it. There are plenty of people who may need a seat but don't have a badge e.g. pregnant women, people feeling a bit icky, knackered. Or sit on it with your toddler on your knee.
The world has gone mad if we should be expected to stand, wobbling about with a miserable child when there's a seat spare just in case.

cheersears · 09/09/2014 14:41

I think you handled it really well.

I had a back injury that meant it was agong for me to stand up. I could sit, or walk slowly, but just standing was excruciating. But obvioulsy I look fit and young. It's a constant reminder to me to not make assumptions.

middlings · 09/09/2014 14:52

Ophelia I was afraid you had a story about "disability scroungers" or something . Seriously, the Daily Mail and it's ilk ought to be banned. I'm so sorry you have to listen to that kind of rubbish.

LL12 · 09/09/2014 14:55

It does seem to be a generation thing.
I don't know if it is connected to having a disabled child myself and maybe taking more notice of these things but there seems to be a generation of people that according to their way of thinking become disabled overnight as soon as they turn 60 and get their bus pass.
To them they feel entitled to things due to their age and "Because I've paid all my taxes".
My child is a teenager and has ASD and is very strong. They have no sense of danger and also have severe hypermobility in their feet causing knee pain when they walk. We receive lower rate mobility so we do not receive a blue badge and other local authority will not give us one so 9/10 will do not take them out as can be too dangerious when in car parks and too painful to stand for too long.
Do you think these old people with attitude would make comments if I took her on a bus and sat in a priority seat? We would have no blue badge to flash at them.

chocogirl77 · 09/09/2014 15:35

I had a similar issue with some pensioners tutting when I sat at the front of the bus. I limped on the bus as my hip had stopped functioning ( hyper mobility) they started talking about rude young people sitting on seats meant for the elderly. I got out my phone and loudly began having a conversation ( with myself) about the attitude of some people to the disabled, how they should be ashamed of themselves and added about 20 years to their ages. They got very quiet after that funnily enough!

Fluffyears · 09/09/2014 18:20

My dad had MS and walked with two sticks. He got on a bus and had a carrier bag with a few cans of beer (he was going to watch telly and chill out) as he sat in his seat the woman next to him piped up 'I think you should stand so one of those ladies should have a seat'. Now my dad was never backwards at coming forward and said 'oh I'm not for to stand!' She then sneeringly said 'it's not my fault you've had a few drinks'. Well then she got it. He said 'I'm stone cold sober but it's not my fault you are two ignorant to notice my walking aids. However love if you are worried about ladies standing then give up your seat for one yourself! I happen to suffer from ms maybe you should look it up and educate yourself before sitting there passing judgements when you have absolutely no idea what you are turning on about' I believe he also called her 'dear' which indicates old lady.

Fluffyears · 09/09/2014 18:21

Major typos, idiot phone!

DrCarolineTodd · 09/09/2014 21:34

How are you registered? There's not really any such thing any more unless you're blind is there?

Agree they were horrid and you should have badged them though.

Ronmione · 09/09/2014 21:41

You shouldn't have to put up
With thy crap, tell them to fuck off or you'll see their mouth up.

Give doris and co something to talk about

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