To wonder why on earth

[idokidok]

I am still with someone who tried to strangle me?

I KNOW it makes no sense, I feel really stuck, my resolution only ever lasts a day or so i feel like a drug addict, I just a normal calm peaceful life

• I just want a normal calm peaceful life

Here for a hand hold. Have you got anyone to support you in real life? Make a exit plan I find helps keep me focused.

Have you considered calling woman's aid?

oh dear

look to the freedom programme or ring womens aid. the freedom programme help women move on from abusive relationships

I am assuming you are a women if not there are services to help men move on from dv relationships

if it was that easy to just go you would have, but you can

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

you'll find the strength a d I hope you find it soon

Sometimes it feels like "better the devil you know"

But through talking, through Women's Aid, the freedom programme you can see that you can break free.

0808 2000 247

Because life is complicated and difficult and the right thing to do is not always easy. Don't be hard on yourself, but do try and make your life better.

I understand its difficult but please please leave. You know it isnt right.
As above poster says please contact womens aid or a dv charity.
Do you have close family/friends who will support yous? Or who you could stay with?

Thanks for the advice, I'm lucky in that we don't live together (temporary thing, the one thing I've managed to do right was convince him it was better for me to do a single application to the council (we were staying at his mums), and where I am now it's no overnight visitors and there's people working here on reception, he can't stay here)
That's why I just don't understand it, it really is just down to willpower I think, not living together has backfired a bit, it makes me see less of the bad and more of the good, sort of thing. But it is constant arguments. He can be sweet sometimes, he doesn't usually hit me, the strangling thing, he was drunk and it was after a huge row. But I know that once is enough, really. I mean, it's STRANGLING someone, is a bit mad really, who does that? I could understand maybe pushing/shoving someone when you're really at the end of your tether but strangling them? I think he has anger problems, I think he would be nice if he got it sorted out.
I could always just pretend like the council say he's not allowed to move in too when I get moved to somewhere permanent? Or maybe that's a bad idea I really don't know.
I keep thinking "I'm only 23, I still have plenty of time to be with someone who actually loves me, have more children, a loving home" but then I feel guilty, he's the father of my child, I'd rather be happy WITH him but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

wow that was long, sort of thought-vomiting a bit

if there is violence like that in your relationship then it's no good.

Where are you living now?

Temporary accommodation, a block of flats basically that they put homeless families in, well I think it's called 'supported accommodation' or something like that

If he does that ie has been v violent to you then sooner or later he'll turn on your child. And you will possibly lose your child either tragically or because they're taken as you wont protect them.

Sometimes I think I'm looking for things to worry about, apart from the few things I know were definitely wrong, because a social worker told me he had a 'violent past' with his ex, and then took it back and said that actually, he wasn't likely to be violent, or something, then said everythings fine and left us to it. The courts all decided he wasn't the violent one.

It's like my life is an episode of Jeremy Kyle it's all so embarrassing.

I have been in that situation in the past. I stayed with my ex because I loved him and was concerned about his wellbeing because he was mentally ill. Basically he controlled me by saying he would kill himself if I left. I wish I had been able to see then that he didn't love me and wasn't concerned about my safety. Eventually he left me and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am free and happy now. You can be too if you leave this man. Someone who would strangle you doesn't love you and is capable of anything, you and your child aren't safe with him. Please don't make excuses for him, you know his behaviour is wrong and you and your child deserve better. Contact Women's Aid Freephone 24 hr National domestic violence helpline on: 0808 2000 247

idokidok, please read this excellent thread in Relationships and consider getting this moved to that section too where you'll receive more support.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody

Thankyou, will read that thread,. Didn't want to post in relationships, because he knows I use mumsnet, and will probably check to see if I wrote anything about him in relationships, don't think he'd think to look on AIBU, that's why the titles a bit vague

Why don't you just change your user name?

It is very Jeremy Kyle - so do you want to live like that or do you want a better life for your child. Your choice.

I am using a different name, but it would still be obvious if he read it.

I've posted in relationships before and he saw, now he looks there, it's unlikely to go through every thread on every sub forum, but relationships is an obvious place to look