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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to worry about son's friend's internet 'contact'?

23 replies

dorasee · 08/09/2014 23:28

I will keep it brief. My DS and his BFF are both 12 (BFF just turned) and BFF has been approached by a 15 year old girl online, chatting, and now wants to meet. DS told BFF 'Don't do it. Could be a paedo' but BFF seems keen and is being egged on by other friends to meet up with this girl.
In light of Alice Gross being in the news and memories of the double homicide of my own two school friends when I was 12- no Internet back then but they were stalked- I am aware that my anxiety may be going into overdrive.
I am tempted to discuss- very delicately- with BFF's dad... just mention the situation in case he is not aware that his son has been approached by a supposed 15 year old girl who wants to meet. BFF's mum died last Christmas and his dad is working every hour God sends him, so may not be aware of what's going on Internet-wise in the family home.
Am I being overly concerned? Would you mention such concerns to a parent if you were in my shoes? Thanks for any input.

OP posts:
Username12345 · 08/09/2014 23:31

I would mention it.

Could be harmless, but do you want to take the chance?

catsofa · 08/09/2014 23:41

Yes please mention it, no harm done if there's nothing to it but it sounds unlikely (why would a 12 year old boy be interesting to a 15 year old girl?) and much more likely to be something off.

FreudiansSlipper · 08/09/2014 23:45

of course mention it

I can not imagine many 15 year old girls wanting to meet up with 12 year old boys

maybe it is all innocent but maybe it is not

AgentZigzag · 08/09/2014 23:49

Yes, definitely mention it, I'm sure you'd want the lads dad to tell you if it was your son going to meet 'her'.

You can talk and talk about internet safety, but it means bugger all when they're actually messing about online.

The only way to be sure (with tweens/young teens) is to have access to all their social media profiles and check in on them from time to time.

UsedtobeFeckless · 08/09/2014 23:49

Definitely mention it - it sounds very fishy! Why would a 15 year old girl want to hang out with a boy 3 years younger than herself? ( Unless BFF has added a few years to his age ... )

Please tell his Dad!

BlowTheBloodyDoorsOff · 09/09/2014 00:28

Firstly, I'm so sorry about your own two friends. That must still be very painful.
I think YANBU at all, I would definitely say something. It doesn't sit right with me either, and I think better safe than sorry.

AlpacaMyBags · 09/09/2014 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ludways · 09/09/2014 00:44

My ds is 12, I would want to know.

catsofa · 09/09/2014 01:33

BTW if you tell dad and he doesn't know what to do or doesn't seem concerned enough to do anything then you could tell the school, who will have a procedure to follow to help keep him safe. It's possible that he'd feel more comfortable talking about it with a teacher than with his dad.

musicalendorphins2 · 09/09/2014 01:39

Absolutely, the parent needs to be aware. The boy is probably being set up.

Italiangreyhound · 09/09/2014 01:45

I am so sorry about your friends.

Definitely mention it. It could be an older man, could be a crime related thing (to be robbed/mugged) who knows, it is very suspicious to me.

jendot2 · 09/09/2014 08:14

I have a 12 year old and I would DEF want to know if he was planning on meeting up with ANYONE on the net. Can't imagine why a 15yr girl would want to meet with a 12yr boy so would def be concerned all is not what it seems.
Please please don't ignore this.....

Icelollycraving · 09/09/2014 08:19

Has his friend ever been bullied or spoken up to a bully? It sounds more like being set up than a paedophile. Talk to the dad.

WitchWay · 09/09/2014 08:35

Yes, talk to the Dad.

Preciousbane · 09/09/2014 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flipflops7 · 09/09/2014 09:38

Yes, mention it.

Andrewofgg · 09/09/2014 09:42

Mention it discreetly. If you did not and harm came if it you would never forgive yourself.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 09/09/2014 09:50

I don't think your sad past experiences are making you unduly anxious - telling BFF's dad is entirely sensible and proportionate.

DarkHeart · 09/09/2014 22:58

My ds is just 13 and I would want to know

Original poster
dorasee · 09/09/2014 23:24

Thanks a million, all of you for your incredible input. I just didn't want to appear to be a nosey parker. I don't know why I felt insecure about telling Dad. I suppose they have been through such a personal tragedy recently with the loss of mum in their household. I didn't want to make waves. But I think it's worth mentioning. Thanks again, so so much.

OP posts:
todayisnottheday · 09/09/2014 23:35

It's worth mentioning. Ds is 12, I'd want to know.

SpaceInvaders · 09/09/2014 23:36

My ds is 11 and I absolutely, definitely would want to know. Speak up.

MandarinCheesecake · 10/09/2014 01:04

Please, please mention it to his dad. No 12 year old child should be meeting up with anyone they have met online.

It may well be innocent but I very much doubt it. Its not worth the risk

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