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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Expected DH To Leave My Coke Alone?

34 replies

LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 20:38

Coca-Cola. Not any other kind of Coke.

I have had a really crap day. Got to work to find out that my friend and colleague was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack over the weekend. On top of the worry about my friend, I have had to pick up her work, plus the work of another colleague who is in leave (and unwell colleague is supposed to be covering for). They are both higher grades than me and are full time, I only work 15 hours per week. In addition, due to a balls-up last week, there's a manic push to sort out something in time for next week, the team leader is also on leave so all in all a pretty stressful time.

I then picked up DS from nursery to be faced with the third report in 2 weeks of him biting another child. Yet another humiliating conversation about what to do about it.

I have PND and haven't had my ADs since Friday, since DH picked up my prescription and has lost them in the depths of his car. DS hasn't slept for the last three nights. Was up from 12.30-2am with him last night, up at 6am for work this morning. DS still not asleep now, I can hear him grizzling and will probably have to go back in to him soon.

So after all that, on the way home I scraped together a few coins and bought myself a bottle of coke as a treat. Drank some of it and was saving the rest for this evening.

DH has guzzled it and claims it's fine because "he had less than half the bottle".

AIBU to twat him?

OP posts:
LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 20:41

YWBU to twat him. It is a can of coke.

Why the fuck has he not been scrabbling around in the car to find your prescription since the moment he realised he had mislaid it? That's the thread you need to start.

LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 20:44

And make sure you ask if YWBU to expect your DH to be settilng your DS in these circumstances so you get a so you get a solid night's sleep. I'll answer that one now: you shouldn't even need to ask, he should be falling over himself to give you a break.

cherrybombxo · 08/09/2014 20:45

This could be written about my DP.

Yes, he's a dick and if he doesn't see why you're annoyed about it, he never will so sadly there's no point getting on at him. I've given up moaning at DP for eating nice things that I buy for myself because he thinks that sighing and offering to replace it makes up for the disappointment of not having it when I wanted it.

DoJo · 08/09/2014 20:45

I agree that focussing on the coke seems to be missing a bigger issue of why neither of you have found your ADs over the weekend.
However, since you asked that I would say YABU if you didn't tell him that you were saving the rest of the bottle for later, but YANBU if he snaffled it despite knowing that you were looking forward to it.

Frontier · 08/09/2014 20:46

I'm not sure what twat means in this context but it sounds like an overreaction to him drinking some pop. Definitely not an over reaction to him losing your medication though. He needs to be out there with a torch NOW.

Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 20:46

Luv it was a BOTTLE of coke. Hmph. He also guzzled a 200g bar of dairy milk last weekend that was bought to share. I didn't get a look in.

He doesn't do nights. He whinges the whole of the next day if he has to get up in the night. This is why DS will be an only child.

OP posts:
Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 20:49

Massive X-Post. Frontier twat as in hit him on the head. Think I might have got that from Red Dwarf

I daren't go in his car, crikey, there are probably lost civilizations in there. I'd never escape.

OP posts:
LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 20:51

Ah well, if it was a bottle. But what size of bottle?

So what if he whinges? You could whinge too. Does the whingiest whinger get to opt out of tasks they don't like in your house? Or is that only for him?

Any idea what is making you depressed?

LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 20:52

But he can go into his car can't he? Why isn't he looking for your ADs right now? What is he doing instead?

Lweji · 08/09/2014 20:54

You have PND.
Kick him out and don't let him in until he has found your prescription and got you the meds and a chocolate bar and another bottle of coke.

DocDaneeka · 08/09/2014 20:57

I feel your pain.

Dh is a splendid hands on dad, was up with dd every night settling her. ( poor sleeper) and really pulls his weight in the house.

BUT

I buy cans of full fat coke as a migraine cure. I bung a multipack in the cupboard and tell him the can drink all he likes, as long as he replaces hw the drinks and there MUST always be two cans remaining at all times. Once I get the warning signs, I need to chug a can plus painkillers within 30 mins or be struck with unbearable agony for 3-5 days.

I have lost count of the times I've got up in the early hours starting with a migraine to find the fucker has chugged the lot. And I'm bollocksed because I Can't get to a shop in time. Wouldn't Mind but I bloody hate the stuff anyway.

I get outraged when this happens, so I can only guess how cross you must be. Mine is absent minded, but yours sounds like a selfish Twat.

Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 20:57

He is in the bath at the moment. On the up side DS is asleep. I am ashamed to admit it was a 1.75 litre bottle, which is probably FAR too much coke to have drunk in one day. But I don't drink alcohol so this is like my wine.

I will send him outside when he's out of the bath.

I don't whinge. I don't have TIME to whinge.

OP posts:
Yambabe · 08/09/2014 20:58

He should be at the nearest shop right now buying you some more coke AND some chocolate! Grin

Losing your ADs is a bit more serious though. He needs to get his arse in gear for that one. Would you both be so blase about it if it was medication for a physical condition ffs?

Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 20:59

Doc it's magic stuff, isn't it! Cured my morning sickness when I was PG with DS.

You need it for medical reasons. Really inconsiderate of your DH. I only have it to drown my sorrows.

OP posts:
Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 21:01

Yam you're right - I'm far too blasé about the ADs. He's out of the bath now and has been sent out to the car.

OP posts:
LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 21:02

Did you tell him you were saving it for later? Did he know the dairy milk was for sharing?

Why the scraping coins together for the coke? Because you just happened to have no cash on you? Or because you are stony broke - in which case he would be vvv unreasonable to finish off anything treat-like all by himself without checking.

Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 21:09

Stony-broke (and then some). Don't even get me STARTED on why.

Yes, he knew the chocolate was to share. And yes, he knew I had bought the coke as a treat for myself after having had a rough day.

He has found the ADs. They are a bit battered looking Hmm

OP posts:
PiperIsOrange · 08/09/2014 21:09

Go to the car and find your meds. Then get in said car and go to the shops and get your self a nice big bottle with a nice big bar of choclate.

Lweji · 08/09/2014 21:11

That was fast. He could and should have got them ages ago.

Now send him to get you the chocolate and the coke from a shop. And tell him he will be up on the night (I'm sure the coke will help).

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 21:14

He needs to find your meds and then the coke won't seem so bad!

If it doesn't work then get some more coke and chocolate.

Btw what does he mean "doesn't do nights?". If you have pnd then he should definitely be sharing this, although i would say he should share then even if not. If you are working then no excuse!

Aherdofmims · 08/09/2014 21:14

Oh, x posted!

LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 21:18

Sounds to me like you definitely need to start on why you are stony-broke.

Did he ever explain why he didn't look for them on Friday when he lost them? Or Saturday? Or Sunday? Or today before you demanded it?

Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 21:19

Lweji it was REALLY fast. He was only out there 5 mins.

Aherd I've let him get away with it really as his job is very physical (e.g. he'll be working on a roof next week) so it's often safer that he's not tired! But yes it would be lovely if he could step in when we go through rough patches. He just moans so much when he's tired I find it easier to just get on with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/09/2014 21:22

Luv we've been in and out all weekend - kept missing each other and when I did remind him he kept forgetting (he has serious memory issues. Often makes his lunch and walks out of the house without it in the time it takes him to tie his shoe laces). I forgot a couple of times too when I could have reminded him so I suppose I can't really blame him entirely for that.

OP posts:
LuvDaMorso · 08/09/2014 21:25

Ok. Physical job. So, I guess he is usually home by 5? How about you have a nap while he tidies up after dinner and gets DS bathed and in bed, in exchange for you getting up in the night?