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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD and PE lesson orientated (following on from earlier thread...)

47 replies

northernmumuk · 08/09/2014 19:00

Posted over the weekend about DD and PE teacher - issue was teacher wanting the class to be barefoot for dance and gymnastics etc etc etc

DD is still ranting about it (they have PE tomorrow and so similar...)

Is it really that uncommon or unreasonable to expect her to take part in dance and gymnastics activities in her bare feet? It seems normal and safe to me but she thinks it is the end of the world!!

Should I do anything?

OP posts:

Hakluyt · 08/09/2014 20:49

OK. Is this your first teenager? If it is, then take my advice . Don't engage just completely refuse to talk about it. Having first made it clear that there will be blood for breakfast at home if she gets into trouble at school about this. You need to stomp. And stomp hard.

CrazySexyCool123 · 08/09/2014 20:57

I hated this at school. It's just so grubby. All the little bits sticking in to your skin. How often do you think those floors are cleaned? Sweaty feet - verruca city.

XiCi · 08/09/2014 21:00

You can get little gymnastics slippers, they are similar to ballet shoes. Would she wear those?

hamptoncourt · 08/09/2014 21:06

If you engage with her like this re every little thing she complains about OP you are in for one hell of a ride!

Not sure how this has become such a big deal.

Teen DD: I don't want to go barefoot in PE.

Me: Talk to teacher about it.

Teen DD: They say I have to.

Me: Why is it a problem?

Teen DD: Cos it's feet.

Me: Eye roll.

End of story.

They aren't asking her to do it naked are they FFS!

Hakluyt · 08/09/2014 21:08

What Hamptoncourt said.

Laquitar · 08/09/2014 21:45

My answer usually is: 'yes there are many things i dont like but i do i.e. work, housework, commute, early mornings etc. but thats life'.

Why do you want to speak to the other mums about this?
Keep that for more serious issues.,
Choose your battles and teach your dd to do the same in life.

KatieKaye · 08/09/2014 22:06

It is irrelevant that the teacher wears trainers. She is the teacher and DD is the pupil. Teacher has set a rule which DD is trying to break for no good reason.
She's a teen. They're like that. Don't engage. She has a choice: bare feet or trouble. Hopefully she'll see reason. If not, she'll learn a useful lesson, namely that you can't always get your own way.

Original poster

northernmumuk · 08/09/2014 22:11

I agree with you KatieKaye although I do think the teacher should set the example.

My main point was whether or not other people think it's unreasonable for her to have bare feet for PE - consensus seems to be it isn't!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 08/09/2014 22:17

Is the teacher actually doing the full dance or activity at the time, or merely demonstrating and then observing? Maybe the teacher is wearing specific training shoes designed for the activities they are teaching.

And whilst it is nice if the teacher can demonstrate and follow the same rules as the children, the bottom line is that as the teacher they can do otherwise.

Unless your dd has a medical reason for not being in bare feet I think she just needs to get on with it.

It is, ime, VERY NORMAL to do gym/dance type work in bare feet. You can't do either in proper trainers.

picnicbasketcase · 08/09/2014 22:20

Is she ashamed of her feet? Is she revolted by other people's feet? It's such an odd thing to be so wound up about.

KatieKaye · 08/09/2014 22:22

I'd say the teacher is setting a very good example by setting clear rules and making it clear the pupils have to adhere to them. She is not doing the dancing or gymnastics - she is teaching, so there is no reason for her to be in bare feet.
It's not unreasonable for the teacher to insist on bare feet, and it's not unreasonable for DD to behave like a typical teen - ie being a PITA and moaning for no good reason. The good news is that most teens do eventually grow out of it!

dalekanium · 08/09/2014 22:24

I'm with your dd. Though IABU

I DETESTED being barefoot. The floor was cold and made my feet weirdly sore. When I complained I was told to man up, and move around more, then I wouldn't have cold feet.

I now find out I have reynauds. There was a reason why I hated the feel of the floor on my feet. And no amount of moving around would have solved that.

Might just be worst looking if there is a reason beyond teenage stroppiness.

Obviously I had a HUGE helping of stroppiness and attitude as well as a real actual problem!

Hakluyt · 09/09/2014 07:41

"I agree with you KatieKaye although I do think the teacher should set the example."

Do you think the teacher should also have to wear school uniform, and not go into town at lunchtime?

rootypig · 09/09/2014 07:46

This wasn't worth one thread, let alone two

mummytime · 09/09/2014 07:58

If this is your first teen :Stop engaging!

Really really do this, it will only get worse. Just like when a pre-schooler can ask "Why?" for 100 times or drivel on about absolutely nothing; with teens you need to learn to filter. Teens moan about a lot of things, things are often unfair/mean/illogical, they can give all kinds of reasons, and everyone else is also moaning. Stop paying attention. Unless you have reminded her she may well have moved on to the next moan.

You can't argue with a toddler, and you often can't argue with a teen.

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 09/09/2014 08:06

Except in cases of cruelty or sadism, what the teacher says goes. And it's your job to support that. Would you really write a letter of complaint saying it's not fair that the teacher wears trainers when my child goes barefoot?

rurbane · 09/09/2014 08:11

Hakluyt, love that response. I will try it on my son.

LIZS · 09/09/2014 08:11

The trainers the teacher wears may well be dance shoes. Honestly just tell her to get on with it. If this is going to be a regular lesson then you could ask if she could wear jazz style shoes for dance but it is very normal to have barefeet.

JustAShopGirl · 09/09/2014 08:13

I also found it disgusting to have to go round barefoot on a floor that had had many,many people wearing outside shoes on it. (was also our lunch hall and standing on sticky/crusty bits was not fun).

But I was very aware I still had to do it.

BellBookandCandle · 09/09/2014 08:13

Tell her to take it up with the teacher - but explain she may get a detention/sanction but that is up to her. Thereafter do not engage on this topic.

MonstrousPippin · 09/09/2014 08:16

I remember at school I used to live in fear of classmates seeing my bare feet because I had two or three terrible verrucas that went untreated and looked awful. I obviously wanted to avoid questions and taunts.

Sometimes there can be a reason.

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 09/09/2014 08:23

Yes, agree with Pippin that you need to check there isn't a genuine reason she's not telling you about but otherwise she has to suck it up!

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