To complain to the school

[Isabella66]

Towards the end of last term before the summer holiday, my 4-year old came back home with a big sticker being stuck to her uniform on the front of her chest. The teaching assistant wrote a note on it saying 'please bring a RED PE shirt for Thursdays'. As she went to an after-school club, she had been wearing it from 15:30 till 18:00 showing around to children and parents from other schools. I felt very sorry for her, it was my fault that I prepared her a pinkish red PE shirt. Am I being unreasonable to complain to the school in attempt to prevent from this happening to other children in the future?

Well presumably the request for a red T shirt was made in a different way the first time round. Probably a letter home if it was for a sports activity or an assembly.
Then when she turned up with a pinkish T shirt, and with time a premium, the TA thought she'd try a different approach.

If this happened last term I suggest you find more to occupy your mind.
I expect you can find something that's happened this term to complain about if you try hard enough.

Your dd might have been worried about the shirt business, so the TA probably said something like, "would you like a special sticker that your mummy can see straight away?"
So, a 4 year old's worry solved and ALL small children love getting stickers in school.

' Children are not walking notice boards ffs.'

Give reception access to post-its and many will label themselves and others with great joy.

It was about over 8 week ago. My DD did not get upset at all. It's very kind of you asking how she felt about it.

The after-school stuff felt strange about it when I picked her up, then I talked to other parents over the summer holidays, who gave me tons of suggestions, basically how to avoid this to happen again. I guess if this is a common practice at my area, no one would get surprised.

I wouldn't complain, as some of you already pointed out that if I'd like to do so, I've done it straight away. The whole point is that my DD was so happy with her previous teacher and YR class.

'reproach' is quite a strong word? I am not sure that I would have taken it that way, just a reminder to send in a red shirt.

You have started a thread to ask if you should complain to the school about this, now you say that your dd wasn't upset and that you had no intention of complaining anyway as this happened 8 weeks ago? What exactly was the point of this thread?

@Unexpected, I'd like to find out if this is an appropriate approach. Certainly this is not commonly applied at the area that I am living in. Now I realise this is widely used somewhere else. I hope that this answers the question?

Be nice ladies.
OP is new to MN.
She's already thanked everyone for putting a different perspective on it and is not going to complain / mention it

YABU. Was DD upset in any way? My DCs would peel stickers off anything and stick them on themselves - they went around with banana stickers, apple stickers, random stickers off shoe boxes - they would love a red sticker to wear all day and would never occur to them it's a reproach of any kind.

I like the sticker idea. You're just hacked off they are criticising you

I do sympathise OP, I was devastated when my PFB was in reception and I forgot to send PE kit on the allotted day. PFB was completely unconcerned but I was sure it "proved" I was a terrible parent. It would have really upset me if that fact had been broadcast around all the other parents in such a way.

However (10 years on), I know now that there are far worse parents than me about and that I have made much bigger parenting mistakes. I also know that there are some (rare) things that are worth taking up with the school and that you need to save your energies for those and not create your self a reputation for fussing over every little thing, so that you are taken seriously when/if you need to fuss over a big thing.

So, on that basis I am going to say YABU, even though I completely understand.

Our school doesn't use stickers but actually, on a practical basis, it's not a bad idea. Parents are always complaining they don't see notes in bags and this avoids that.

I am clearly in the minority here. But I am astonished that a school would do this, and that MNetters are convinced its the way to go. Another lesson that one person's common sense assumptions are another's outrage.

No, I don't think this is inflicting major humiliation on either child or parent. No, I don't think it's a big deal and I definitely would not take it up eight weeks later. But I think it's odd. As said upthread, children are not walking billboards. A note in the bag, a text if it's that important, would all have done the trick. Can the school really not come up with a better system than pinning a note to a child? Just seems wrong to me, in the same way that it would seem odd to use an adult to convey information this way. It makes me wonder how the school, and the TA, see children.

I know, I know I am in the minority here. So flame away. Just did want to voice my dissenting opinion.

Actually, aNote - I do know quite a lot of adults that write a note on their hand if they need to remember something.... a sticker is just a bit less permanent.
I also know some adults who put stickers on themselves to remind them, but that just might be because I know a lot of people that work in schools

Perhaps a sticker on the book bag or lunch box would work better for you, it's still an obvious physical reminder but not so visible to everyone else? You could mention that you'd prefer this, or a letter, or a text, to give constructive feedback without actually complaining, especially as the communication was designed to help you both rather than tell you off.

What a good idea. I get your daughter lived wearing it and it reached home. Sounds like a school that wants to parents to be involved.

Liked not lived

What I'm wondering is why your DD was in the wrong shirt at the end of the school year? Surely you knew what she needed to wear by that stage? I'd say the TA got a bit exasperated and thought this was the best way to communicate given you clearly hadn't got the message in the months and months of previous PE days.

Letters and notes disappear in book bags. I think it sounds like a good way of communicating with the parents of 4 yr olds who tend to forget any message within 30 seconds of being told it. It would not bother me (or my DS) at all.

And seriously you can't go in 8 weeks later when your DD is in a different class and complain. If it really had been that big an issue you should have said something straight away.

I'm so glad they don't do this in my DC's school, because my forgetful DS3 would come looking like this

:) Worra. At a school I did supply in the poor Y1s used to leave every friday plastered in homework sellotaped to their uniforms. It was the only way to ensure the parents didn't claim it was "lost" apparently.

I've never known teachers to do this but I think it's a great idea

I can see why the OP might have thought it was odd though, if she didn't realise lots of schools do it.

Given it was almost the end of the school year and your DD still had the wrong colour PE kit, it's obvious the letters weren't working so they tried a new tactic.

I think it's a great idea, some parents don't bother checking book bags for days and some children hoard letters in their trays rather than take them home.

I might contact the school, and suggest that the stickers are put onto the child's book bag, rather than onto the child themself. I woild not be entirely happy about my child being used as a walking notice board.