To stay in a job I despise simply because we are TTC and I may not be in a job long enough to get a good mat leave package

[Ididntseeitsoitdidnthappen]

I could move within my company but that would treble my commute each way and tbh it's not worth it.

We are TTC without much luck and have been referred on for tests. The other advantage of this job is you get paid leave for medical appointments (of which I have many) but I hate my job, it's making me ill and I can't help but feel a part of our TTC issues and losses is due to stress. I have become complacent in post too and am really just dragging my heels waiting to be caught out which I won't because my heel dragging is some colleagues full speed but I feel a fraud and I feel lazy doing by my reckoning not much.

DH is actively discouraging me from job swapping because of the mat leave and how if we catch, and it sticks, I won't be in post long enough to get a good mat leave package (plus it wouldn't be fair on a new employer)

I'm stuck

You could look around for interesting positions, apply, and if you get it, decide then. It's always possible to turn down an offer if your situation at that time warrants it. At least you'll feel like you're taking a positive step.

Good luck

FWIW, here is my experience.

I stayed in a job I was bored/frustrated in because of the reasons you give above.

It ended up taking us a few years to conceive.

As it turned out, the company screwed me over on mat leave pay and then made me redundant. Several years down the line and my career in that sector is dead in the water.

Personally, if I could do it again, I would not have stayed in that job and would have taken the risk.

But hindsight is a wonderful thing! If I had conceived sooner, it probably would have all played out very differently.

I also think our problems were partly down to stress, as the doctors never found any real issues.

Good luck.

I say look around and apply. As above, it could take longer than you'd like to get pregnant and you don't want to be bored and miserable and adding even more stress to the situation. You might get something, you might not. Roll the dice and cross the bridge when you come to it

Thanks. It's already taken several years and several losses but I'm hoping it won't take much longer, however I'm also of the opinion work stress isn't helping. I really just don't know what to so for the best

I don't think you can put your life on hold whilst you ttc. I took a new job whilst we were ttc and found out I was pregnant the same day I started my new job (I poas on the train on the way home )

Work were fine about it, my boss was amazing. I'm taking a year off and they've been fine.

Best of luck, sorry to hear about your losses, I hope you get good news soon

Ah interesting (and sorry you are going through this)

I had a similar thing...tried a bit without much luck, did a major health and lifestyle change, was ready to leave regardless, but hesitating due to the maternity package my firm offered which was best part of a year on full pay, bonus and not having to pay it back if you leave. I was applying for local jobs, one offered me an interview on my birthday and I asked I it could be first thing in the morning not midday (didn't say why, but it would have involved a day of annual leave on my 30th birthday which I didn't want) and they said no, and I thought if the firm is that inflexible that they can't offer a person already in work an earlier interview then they are not very nice to work for (true, my friend since joined there and they are the pits). So I said thanks but no thanks, fell pregnant on my 30th birthday (in retrospect I realise that's when it was! Glad I didn't take the day off! Night in a hotel with husband was just the ticket! Avec wine!) and then had to wait it out in the job I was a bit over for my maternity leave.

If I had left, I guess I would have fallen pregnant as well (maybe) and said "oh well that was sod's law working in my favour, I probably would not have got pregnant if I was still commuting" or some such and basically that means...

what will be will be!

Which is no help at all!

Just go with whatever, perhaps just look around and take a pregnancy test before signing any offers?

Good luck!