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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what would you do

51 replies

wheresthelight · 07/09/2014 19:54

a friend has asked me to make a cake for a particular event - i am by no means a professional but can do a little bit. I have agreed to do it as a gift for this event. event is 2 weeks today and despite persistent requests to meet up and discuss as she has yet to make a decision on exactly what she wants she keeps finding excuses.

tried to call her today and it was declined so sent her a message (no voicemail) to say if she had changed her mind about me doing it then that's fine but if not then we really need to sit down and sort it out as I have lots on over the next couple of weeks and time is getting short, plus if I need to order any bits then we are running very short of time.

she says next Sunday is the earliest she thinks she might be free. that gives me no time whatsoever to order anything and very little to make and decorate the cake.

I am really miffed that she is taking the Mick. do I just say look if you don't see me in the next 2-3 days then you will have to pick something very basic that doesn't require me having to order anything or else it just won't happen or do I suck it up and running. round like an idiot next week trying to sort the cake she wants - assuming she has even chosen anything?!

OP posts:
pluCaChange · 07/09/2014 22:05

If it's a gift, surely she'll just get what she's given?

wheresthelight · 08/09/2014 09:01

thanks for the responses, I have sent her another message today and reiterated that I need to order stuff and the absolute latest I cam place orders is Thursday morning. she is coming over after work tomorrow... she says

OP posts:
rainbowinmyroom · 08/09/2014 09:06

And lesson learned. No more favours for her.

fuzzpig · 08/09/2014 09:29

She sounds quite ungrateful really. I am a Procrastinator Extraordinaire, but I'd hope that even I would pull my finger out in this situation seeing as you're doing a massive favour and there are such pressing deadlines.

I kind of hope she doesn't turn up and you have to say "sorry, too late" - it'll be a valuable learning experience for her Wink

diddl · 08/09/2014 09:35

Do you have to even meet??

I would have thought she could send a pic of a design tbh.

Either tell her no now or make a decision yourself & make a start on it.

It's obviously not very important to her!

helenthemadex · 08/09/2014 09:45

she is very rude, you are doing her a favour not the other way round

wheresthelight · 08/09/2014 10:55

fuzz - part of me does too

diddl - she has changed her mind half a dozen times hence the fact I want her to sit down and discuss it as the design she wants isn't doable in the time frame. plus she originally wanted a square cake and has now decided she wants a round one when I have already bought the display board and box etc. the design styles she like will only feed about 20 people and she has nearer 100 coming to the event and unfortunately i am not skilled enough to do lots of tiers and cannot afford the ridiculous deposits to hire a multi tier cake stand and neither can she which is why in doing the cake I'm the first place

OP posts:
NK5BM3 · 08/09/2014 12:20

is this for her wedding?!?!?!?!? mind boggles

AlpacaPicnic · 08/09/2014 13:46

Send her three design choices... Two of them awful/ugly/offensive and inappropriate and one nice and easy one...

Tell her, if she doesn't pick one then you'll decide.

Wait for her to pick the nice and easy one.

Jobs a good un.

wheresthelight · 08/09/2014 14:02

nk - no baby's christening

alpaca - love it!! if she doesn't turn up then I will definitely be doing that

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 08/09/2014 14:28

She has 100 people coming to a christening? Wow!

diddl · 08/09/2014 14:40

Gosh, that's a big Christening(imo)

Sell tickets for a slice of cake!!Grin

if she wants tiers she should at least hire a stand or buy the dowels etc to stack.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 08/09/2014 14:49

Surely at this late stage she just gets one fancily decorated cake for ceremonial cutting (does one do that at a christening?), photos etc and then the rest will be plainly iced slab cakes cut behind the scenes for handing out?

diddl · 08/09/2014 14:56

That sounds a good idea, like a sort of tray baked & iced fruit cake?
(If she wants a fruit cake)

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 08/09/2014 14:58

Exactly. People just want cake, they're hardly going to riot because they didn't get a fancy sugar flower on their slice.

diddl · 08/09/2014 15:04

"they're hardly going to riot because they didn't get a fancy sugar flower on their slice."

Are you sure??Grin

londonrach · 08/09/2014 15:06

If she can't be bothered to meet you you can't be bothered to make it. Forward her local supermarket....

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 08/09/2014 16:14

Could get nasty!

what would you do
pictish · 08/09/2014 16:56
Grin
rainbowinmyroom · 08/09/2014 17:05

Then you TELL HER what she is getting. Beggars can't be choosers.

slithytove · 08/09/2014 17:18

If you want to do tiers, just buy dowels and appropriately sized cake boards and stack them directly on each other. It's really easy.

Not that you should be going to extra effort or expense from the sounds of it!

NoodleOodle · 08/09/2014 17:32

Sounds like the kind of favour I would find too hard to fulfil in the circumstances. Back out now if you can? Or bake one simple cake and decorate some cupcakes, or whatever works out easiest for you. I hope she'll do some of the babysitting you'll need if you do go ahead with it?

wheresthelight · 08/09/2014 19:26

lol at the riot!!

yeah I thought 100 was a bit extreme but both her and her dh come from split families so in effect there are 4 families coming.

I have pretty much told her she cam have a 2 tier square cake and a very simple topper but she cam choose that if she turns up tomorrow otherwise I am going with the original icing blocks with her dd's name amd some pretty ribbon!

OP posts:
Mushypeasandchipstogo · 08/09/2014 19:45

If she does end up going to Waitrose then tell her that I found out today that
they need 2 weeks notice!

wheresthelight · 08/09/2014 22:53

Pmsl mushy Wine

OP posts:
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