to think DH should just leave the hall light on?

[ShadowStar]

DS1 (3yrs) likes us to leave the hall light on and his door open when he goes to sleep. He gets upset if it's too dark. We've tried a few nightlights, and they've either been too dim or cast shadows that frighten him, so when I put him to bed I leave the hall light on.

DH likes it to be dark when he goes to sleep, so he turns the hall light off before he goes to bed. DH usually goes to bed after me.

This means that if DS1 wakes in the night, I get woken by him screaming to have the light turned on. DH is a heavy sleeper and usually sleeps through this.

The issue I'm having with DH is that he won't close our bedroom door or even leave it slightly ajar so that we can leave the hall light on for DS1 and still have it dark in the bedroom for DH. He insists that we have to leave the door fully open so that we can hear DC if they wake in the night and that to close our door would be mean and bad parenting. I've pointed out that we have baby monitors in both the DCs rooms, which will alert us if they start crying or calling for us, but apparently this isn't good enough.

AIBU to tell DH to leave our door ajar and leave the hall light on?

Yeah you're right icy. The 3 year old should just man up

Really, he's three

I used a monitor when my eldest was 6 and my youngest 4 (same room).

The eldest got nightmares and was so scared she lay rigid, terrified of getting out of bed to come to me, or even to call for me.I remember that feeling still from when I was little and remember how utterly awful it was.
So I used the baby monitor, and told her she only had to call for me quietly and I would come, because I would hear her and I would come.
It

i used a monitor when i had my flat it was concrete walls FGS i couldn't hear a damn thing!

in my house i can hear a spider fart so i didn't bother using them

I'm with your DH - I actually find it very hard to sleep if there is light coming into the room

can you not get a lamp for your sons room?

I wouldn't be leaving the light on if it means your DH struggles to get quality sleep, esp as it only affects your DS if he wakes in the night, I agree with icy I think.

But you could shut your door or buy a lamp for the hallway or your DS's room. It doesn't have to be full on bright light or no light at all, surely?

my dds have battery fairy lights on in their room as neither like the dark. bathroom light on but door half / 3/4 closed. my bedroom door ajar.
seems to work.

The children have baby monitors in their rooms so there's no need at all for the parents' door to be open. The H is just being a point-scoring arse.

I don't get why you (as a family) can't leave his door open, have the light on and shut your bedroom door. It means everyone gets what they need.

Buy dh a flight sleep mask - I got one for £1.73 off Amazon.
My dh gets up at 4:45 and light bothers me, hence the sleep mask - problem solved.

Wake your H and have him deal with 3yo.

I'd kick him in the shins every time the children wake. (DH, not DS!)
You shouldn't be getting up in the night because of his selfishness. He's the one who wants to risk upsetting your son, he should deal with it.

we must be really bad parents as our door is shut and so are the kids bedroom doors. Both of them had a go-glow night light in their rooms and ds (7) still uses his. We leave the bathroom light on if they need to get up to the toilet in the night

a selection of go glow products

He's being daft. If you have a monitor of course you can shut your door. I hear far more from our monitor than through doors whether open or shut. Have the light on and your door shut.

I can be woken up by even a little bit of light from the hall - the landing light on, and the door open a crack would keep me awake - but in these circumstances, I would have to try to find a solution that would suit both me and the 3-year-old.

We have an issue because we have teenagers, who want to come in/stay up later than dh and I, and if they put their bedroom lights or the bathroom light on, it used to wake me up - we have a to plight over the door, so even shutting the door didn't help - so I blocked it up with a sheet of cardboard so my problem with the light doesn't have to control their lives.

YANBU. Buy a monitor, shut your door and tell him to grow up (your DH that is, not your 3 year old)

You need a Lite Cup!!

360 sippy cup with a built in night light in the base. These are amazing.

I do think your DH is being irrational about the need to keep the bedroom door open. Particularly for fire safety. We keep all doors closed at night, and have a lamp in the landing with a low energy bulb.

Juat a thought...how about a curtain over the door? Blocking out noise but not light.

Could DH wear an eye mask perhaps? dead sexy

Agree he's being silly - close the door - you'll hear the DC.

MY DH reckons the little bit of light he can see around the door frame is too light for him to sleep even though he falls asleep while I have the bedside light on to read so we have always had the landing light off. Fortunately DS has never minded.

Kick him out of the bed at stupid o'clock to deal with the fears of the dark. He'll soon realise that actually he sleeps a lot better if the landing light's on.

Is he this arse-ish about other things?

Yanbu.

You will hear ds even with door shut/ajar.

If dh insists on his way wake him up.

Try a curtain on your bedroom doorframe?

You can leave the light on and have the door open for the sound but the curtain will keep the light out of your bedroom

Try looking at a gro bag 2 in 1 light- we got one from amazon but I think most places do them.
Our 6 year old has this fitted on the landing and I can sleep - it gives a low level light when on the night light bit
Would link but cannot work it out on iPad!

I'm going to go against the grain and say yabu....find another solution that your 3 yr old can be happy with....fairy lights for example, or a funky night light.

I say this because I can't bear the hall light being on when I'm sleeping. Even if the door is shut there's still that rectangle shaped line of light around it, and even that's enough to bother me and disturb my sleep.

I'd have to get around this problem another way, because the hall light would be going OFF.

Get him a sleep mask! I like a dark room so wear one each night. It isn't sexy but it does the trick.

Dimmer switch and bulb for the 3 year old. Problem solved by a few minutes DIY.