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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider potty training DD at 17 months?

20 replies

Keepontrudging · 06/09/2014 19:31

My dd is rather advanced for her age, in terms of comprehension and speech. It has recently come to my attention she is trying to inform me when she has pooed, by pulling at her nappy and saying 'mummy'. She also follows me to the loo and has tried to pull off her nappy when there. When I take it off I sit on her on the toilet and I ask her if she would like to wee wee. She hasn't done it yet- but she is slowly learning I think - and she loves to go on the big toilet like mummy :)
I have only been doing this about once/twice a day for a week-or so.

The thing is I really feel she could be ready for a gentle and timely type of potty training, but I don't want to somehow 'scar' her by doing it too early; I read once it can make a child anally- retentive if you potty train them early!?

Apart from anything else, I am due to give birth at Christmas so it would be fab to only have the one in nappies- and to have the task at my full attention as of now, as opposed to possibly rushing it when the new baby is here (iyswim)

All I can do is try I suppose! If it doesn't work out, I would obviously leave it and try again in a few months or so. Am is being rather rash here?

OP posts:

cailindana · 06/09/2014 19:34

Yeah give it a try, but don't push too much. At this age they can get it for a week or two then totally regress which is really annoying.

WooWooOwl · 06/09/2014 19:35

You can try, but potty training isn't really about training, it's just about moving on when the child is ready. If you have to do much real training, the child isn't ready.

Most children are aware that they have pooed and know what a toilet is for long before they are reliable in pants.

TarkaTheOtter · 06/09/2014 19:36

I would just keep doing why you are doing. If you potty train now it might mean lots of accidents/regression when new sibling arrives.
IME having a toddler in nappies with a newborn is much easier than one who you need to take to the toilet at short notice.

Waltonswatcher · 06/09/2014 19:36

Run on your gut not on stupid milestone markers. My dd was peeing in the toilet at one . No big deal - its just pee.
Do what you want but don't make the mistake of announcing it on FB - a sure fire way to lose your mummy mates !

FamiliesShareGerms · 06/09/2014 19:38

I think you can cause problems if you try to force it too early. If you try in a v low key way, nothing really much to lose - just don't get your hopes up!

valrhona · 06/09/2014 19:40

My ds trained early and quickly - he was dry day and night before his 2nd birthday. I just saw a window and went for it. He's 6 now, and never had an issue. He walked and talked very early as well.
Dd was another matter. She was my first and I left it late to train her and it was tricky enough. She was 3.5 yo and v attached to her nappies!

TruJay · 06/09/2014 19:41

My mum did with me, I was out of nappies at 18 months. She just said I was ready so didn't see the need to wait.
My brother and sister were trained later when they started showing signs, all kids are different. As long as she is showing signs and obviously she is, I say go for it

Cardriver · 06/09/2014 19:44

YANBU Just keep it all really upbeat and positive and then it won't affect her negatively if you have to try again later on.

DD3 was fully toilet trained at 19 months after showing signs for a good few months before that. It took 2 days before she was clean and dry both day and night so some children are ready very early. I didn't even try DDs 1&2 before they were 2 because they hadn't shown any signs of being ready for it.

Artandco · 06/09/2014 19:45

Both mine trained by 18 months. I semi used elimination communication though ( had in nappies but used toilet at bath time, and every nappy change if poss from 6 ish months )

You could try the same with dd now. Every time you change nappy pop on toilet before putting new one on, and after bath time. Then you can do gradually once they have learnt concept of what toilets for ( toilet with seat easier than potty IMO)

kiki0202 · 06/09/2014 19:51

DS started training at 17mo as he was ready I done pull ups for 7 months and he was in pants by his second birthday. We had a potty in the livingroom at first and nothing on him at home to start with pull ups when out. It was stress free and easy for both of us.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/09/2014 19:53

Ready isn't knowing when they need the toilet. That's fairly standard from one onwards. Ready is being able to hold their wee so they only go once every few hours. Personally, I think 'potty training' is bonkers, just wait till they're ready and no training us required. Also, you'll probably find it easier the have your eldest in nappies with a newborn, then you change it at your convenience, rather than wipe a bottom at hers.

Original poster

Keepontrudging · 06/09/2014 19:55

arethere- no I know that, but I just thought it could be sign that she doesn't like her nappy on- she wants it off when she has pooed and also when she sees me weeing she wants hers off so she can wee in the toilet. I know it could just be mere curiosity ... but it could also be a wee sign she is possibly ready.

Ill give it a go (gently and slowly , over the coming months) and see what occurs!

OP posts:

dietcokeandwine · 06/09/2014 19:58

If you weren't pregnant, OP, I'd say go for it.

As you are pregnant, I'd say don't even think about it!

Toddler in nappies is far far easier than one who wees and poos all over the floor whilst you're frantically trying to sort her and baby at the same time. Even if your dd trains easily now, at this age she will almost certainly regress to some extent or another when your baby arrives.

If you really want to do it, try her in pull ups-they're expensive but would give you the option of trying her on the toilet when she wants to whilst giving her (and you!!) a bit more protection.

jeanmiguelfangio · 06/09/2014 20:26

My dd is 18m and we are poo trained as I call it! She can tell me when she needs to go, and she goes on the toilet. Its easier for her to tell me about that, and she has learnt to tell me with enough time to get her to a toilet. However, pee has been more difficult. She doesnt understand when she is going yet, or with enough time for me to get her there, so I dont bother with that.
She has a toilet seat though and I put her on it at various times of the day, but she is not ready for that. Thats the thing, is she ready to tell you she needs to go, or just that she has gone?

TheCunnyFunt · 06/09/2014 20:50

"When I take it off I sit on her on the toilet" I think there's an extra 'on' in there OP :o :o

But yes, I think there's no harm in gently trying as long as you don't force anything. My DD was the same at this age, I bought a potty and kept it in the bathroom, she'd follow me in when I went to the loo and sit on her potty (nappy on) quite happily. It didn't go anywhere though and she lost interest. She turned 3 in June and was almost fully toilet trained in under a week at the end of June (she's still in nappies for bed).

Original poster

Keepontrudging · 06/09/2014 20:54

Ha! cunnyfunt oops...! Yes mistake there, not an actuality ... Haha.
(Love your name btw)

I will try one of the toilet seats I think... Potties make me shudder , but I know I will prob have to use one eventually! (Plus they're hardly any worse than a nappy haha)

OP posts:

deste · 06/09/2014 21:04

My DS was off nappies day and night at 16 months. I just asked him every morning if he was going to use his potty today, usually the answer was no but one day he said yes and that was the start. Yours sounds as if she is ready.

treadheavily · 06/09/2014 21:18

It isn't too early at all! Where I work children are "invited" to toilet train once they can walk. Most of them are fully toilet trained by 20-24m. It has happened since we switched to cloth nappies, 3 yrs now.

golemmings · 06/09/2014 21:41

Dd showed all the signs if being ready at 18mo so we tried. And failed. Ditto 21 months,ditto 23 months. Then ds arrived so we gave up. She finally got it at 2.5years.

I wasn't even planning on trying with ds until he turned 3 but at 2.7 he cried all the way home because he needed a wee and refused to wee in his nappy. 2 accidents later and he's dry day and night.

Good luck when ever you do it. Chances are it will be very easy or a bit too early.

Justgotosleepnow · 06/09/2014 21:41

Yes do it!
Your child is training you! She's yelling you she's ready to do a wee or poo on the loo I think.
Try her on a toilet insert, maybe just skip the potty altogether.

Can she say wee and poo? That's great if she can, then you know what she means.

Google elimination communication or diaper free baby, there's lots of people that do 'EC' and it's great.

I started putting my dd on the loo at 6m in the morning, and had a wee on the loo every morning for months. She knows exactly what she's doing at 16m now.

Let her lead you, ask her if she wants to do a wee on the toilet like mummy. Nappy off, put her on the toilet insert, and kneel on the floor in front of her. You don't need to go crazy on the praise either, just acknowledging what she's done is enough.

If she says no, then leave it at that. Some day she will say yes.

And it's a gradual thing, she may prefer to do poos on the loo only. It doesn't have to be 100% loo & pants & lots of misses. Just let her guide you and it will all wrk out.

Plus when she sees the new baby in nappies it might make her feel like she wants to be more grown up and use the loo & pants.

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