I think maybe I am a bit U...
So back story, DP and I have been together for three years and I have two DC from a previous relationship. A year ago we moved away from the area I'd always lived, where all my friends and family are because of his work etc, my decision ultimately but had a slight feeling that he'd have gone without me had I not decided to go. I gave up my job and have struggled to find work in new area partly because of childcare etc so he is mostly supporting us financially at the mo, which neither of us are happy about tbh. I've not made friends in new area really, just neighbours etc that I occasionally chat with. Anyway, maybe that's irrelevant. So during the summer holidays DP went abroad with work for almost a month, and while he was away didn't phone/write etc once, I did however get a couple of crap text messages halfway into his trip. I'd made it clear that I was happy for him to go on this trip (he didn't have to go) as it was an experience I didn't want him to miss out on etc but that I'd really miss him and I'd really like him to keep in touch while he's away. I was also made responsible for looking after his pets while he was away, he didn't ask, just assumed. (I also do all the housework/cooking/shopping/gardening/care of his pets etc which I do feel is fair as he works more than full time, but I feel taken for granted sometimes). I was really pissed off at DP for not phoning. Granted it was not a country that had phone boxes on every corner but we'd discussed (and he'd agreed to) him buying a cheap mobile while there to stay in touch. He said he couldn't find anywhere to buy one (even though they were in a big city for the first day :/ ) but I later found out someone else on the trip with him did buy one for £20, and DP was being a tight arse basically. Felt increasingly pissed of during the month he was away, was feeling pretty unloved and was preparing myself for ending the relationship tbh.
Anyway we've stayed together but I'm really unhappy. I just feel like he doesn't really care. I do think he loves me in his own little way, but I just don't think this is the relationship for me. I don't expect Disney romance lol, just someone who respects and appreciates me. I know he pays a large part of our living costs but he was unemployed during the first year or so we lived together and it was I who footed the bill then, so I don't feel indebted to him for that, though I am grateful.
So last week a relative of DP sadly passed away and the funeral is next week. I was assuming I would go with DP as he was very close to said relative although I'd never met them. I guess I thought I'd be going as I'm DP's long term partner and I'd be there to support him. I was planning on asking someone to take care of my DC for the day/eve. However DP didn't want me to go and said it would be a hassle for someone to have my DC (it wouldn't have been).
I feel really pathetic, moaning that I've been left out of a funeral, and it's bloody not anything to do with me is it! Funeral is for DP to say goodbye to relative, and I should not make this about me ffs! ...but, I don't know, I don't understand why he didn't want me there, am I not part of his family? Am I not meant to stand by his side for these sort of things? He's staying away overnight for the funeral, spending time with his family that I get on well with, so I'll miss out on that too. I'm BU aren't I? I don't want to argue with DP about this but I tend to over think things and get worked up until I'm eventually a moody git with DP I know I'll end up having a go. And I'll hate myself for it. AIBU to feel left out of a funeral... Probably. But AIBU to expect more from a partner, I just feel like he doesn't care.