To sit in the kitchen and ignore dcs

[Edenviolet]

Because dd1 and ds1 have been fighting and won't stop and whatever I do they keep going for each other. Ds2 is in the highchair having lunch and dd2 is eating hers too so they are ok.

I just want ten minutes peace. I've had a stressful morning and dcs just can't behave. I've warned them that continuing fighting will only result in one of them getting hurt but they won't stop.

Put them out in the garden.

Go into the kitchen, set the timer for ten minutes and have a cup of tea in peace.

Then take them out somewhere that guarantees they will be exhausted by bed.

And get something simple for tea. We are having burgers in rolls. Will take about twenty minutes to get sorted.

They've just come out here as well ! I just want some peace away from their bickering. I don't know what's wrong with them today but they are old enough to know better

YANBU.
A few times I have gone into my bedroom and closed the door & MN'tted to get away from my brawling pair

Mine fight like cat and dog.
Its tiring.
Have a rest, then occupy them.

Send them to separate rooms until you've finished your cuppa

Never seen them so bad. They are now arguing about who needs to say sorry and how to apologise properly. Ds1 wants to just say sorry, dd1 thinks he needs to apologise for every kick and punch.

I can't even have a cup of tea as dd1 drank all the milk with her breakfast. I think when dh gets back from his appt I will be going to get some milk then coming home for a cup of tea in my room with the door shut.

I come down on physical violence like a ten ton hammer, it's absolutely not allowed in this house. They would have been in separate rooms after the first incident here.

How old are they? Is one of them old enough to go and get some milk? That might nip it in the bud.

Same here Worra.
My kids do bicker and it can get noisy, and I'd want them out in the garden. If they are thumping each other they need to be separated.

I don't tolerate any violence here either.

I would send one to get milk, get the other to Hoover living room.

Explain that if they continue using violence today they can also clean bathroom and garden! Any additional violence will result in loss of TV/ Xbox/ whatever they like

No laying hands on each other in my house either and my 2 used to have some howlers of barneys oh put them in their bedrooms for physical fighting and they have to stayy there take no sides or aww mum he said she did bedroom now should be sufficient its hard and of courses you need peace are they old enough to go to the shop

Completely agree with Worra.

Funnily enough the one thing that worked for me was the threat (that I made good on, once) to lock them both in a room together.

There was dead silence and when I opened the door 5 minutes later they were sitting as far as possible away from each other, throwing daggers.

I concede that this may backfire.

heh I like that idea however I could actually see that working

Strap them in the car. Sit where you can see them. The boredom will kick in and they'll make up.

Sympathy. My three and two year old are horrendous for hurting each other.
I am trying everything to discourage it but it's pretty much constant.

Of course he should apologise for every punch and kick from this morning. Including from you. From the first blow you should have intervened and sent them to seperate rooms. You removing yourself isn't going to solve this. You need to get tough, set boundaries and take back control..

What are you doing to stop the violence? This needs tackling.

They are 12 and 7. Far too old to have been acting that way and when it gets this bad we end up with one or both of them dislocating something (usually fingers).
Dh came back and told them both off (badly) then gave them both a job to do, dd had to clean the rabbit out and ds had to dust all the window ledges (!) they both did it and dh has hobbled off to take ds2 for a walk in the buggy so he has a nap and I get some quiet

If they are fighting so badly they are dislocating fingers that's awful and needs some serious intervention. They need separating immediately and tv / Internet / toys banned. You need to come down on them like a ton of bricks.

If it's that bad ( and dislocating fingers is that bad) why don't you separated them?

What will you do when they're bigger than you?

Also if you don't separate them and then dh tells them off when he gets in it gives the signal to them that it's only your dh they need to listen to.

What a pp said I know its hard but these kids are battering lumps out of each other take charge of them dislocating fingers jeez they are going end up kiling each other give it a few years do what their dad does you will get peace then

The dislocating is due to a medical condition, iirc, isn't it op? Still should be separated at the first sign of aggression...

Why did your DH tell them off badly?

Sounds like he did good-gave them tasks.

Try the book "siblings without rivalry" - has some good ideas in there.

I agree with the PP who said you need to take back control.

By hiding in the kitchen and ignoring them and then your DH having to tell them off and give them jobs when he came home, you've (albeit inadvertently) allowed your kids to rule the roost right under your nose.

You also need to protect your kids from each other, especially if they are dislocating fingers etc.