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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To chase up people to find out whether they are coming to DS's party next weekend?

24 replies

CruCru · 06/09/2014 11:09

Sent out invitations a few weeks ago before preschool broke up. Put on a deadline for RSVPing (today). Is it okay to text the people whose numbers I have and who haven't replied to check whether they are coming?

OP posts:

Original poster

CruCru · 06/09/2014 11:10

Or should I wait until tomorrow?

OP posts:

PumpkinBones · 06/09/2014 11:11

I would wait until Monday, they might be thinking they will let you know after the weekend.
I hate it when people don't RSVP!!

redskybynight · 06/09/2014 11:16

If the deadline is today I'd leave it till tomorrow personally. But texting today not a big deal either ...

Oakmaiden · 06/09/2014 11:37

I always chase people up - mostly because I myself am rubbish at replying to things, so would appreciate being chased up myself!

If I have a phone number I send a text, if not I send a note into school - something along the lines of "Just a reminder, X's party is at 3pm on Saturday. We would love to see you there - please let me know if you can make it!"

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 10:51

Well all the people who I have chased up are not coming. Argh! Who ARE these people who don't feel the need to RSVP?

OP posts:

emummy · 07/09/2014 10:54

Oh this drives me mad! Ds had birthday party last Sunday, 7 hadn't replied and I had no way of contacting them. None of them turned up but I had to buy enough stuff to cover them. Very rude!

unpackyoursuitcase · 07/09/2014 11:00

I am booking a party for my dd who will be 5. She's only been in school 4 days. How do I know who to invite? or how many invitations to send out as don't want to invite say 15 and only 5 accept. She only got invited to 1 party last year (nursery) and that was her cousins back last September!!

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 11:08

One person I have chased hasn't replied to my chasing email so I assume they are not coming.

OP posts:

MrsCosmopilite · 07/09/2014 11:16

Oh gods I HATE this current lack of manners with RSVP.

I'm meant to be hosting a charity event in a few weeks. Have emailed, texted and facebook evented it. Have chased up. Of 55 people, 20 have responded. It's so fucking rude.

My friend is having the same issue with an upcoming birthday.

Do people not realise that we need to sort out food, drinks, chairs, etc?

I'm about to send yet another chaser out.

HappyAgainOneDay · 07/09/2014 11:17

I have non-repliers. In the same position, I would contact them, in whatever way, and say, " I have not had a reply from you so have assumed that will not be coming to

pineapplecrush · 07/09/2014 11:29

Something which used to drive me mad too OP! Was a relief when my children reached the age where they took couple of friends out for tea/cinema etc. In retrospect, I might have put something on invitation saying if not RSVP by 7 September, will assume your child is not coming?? You will always get some just turning up though.

If it's a venue where you have to pay per head in advance, it's tricky. Some parents think if they haven't said they're not coming, you will know they are, others think you'll know they're not because they haven't said they are IYSWIM.

Grrr!

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 11:30

I am tempted to send notes in to the preschool - but I have a feeling that I would be doing it to be passive aggressive and to make a point rather than because I really expect those kids to come.

OP posts:

MrsPiggie · 07/09/2014 11:41

I go by the rule that out of the people who haven't replied, half will turn up and half won't, then I cater for the resulting number. Maybe have a couple of extra things I can quickly throw in a party bag for extra siblings, unexpected arrivals etc. I would never give a pay-per-head party with children l didn't know, it's too stressful dealing with non-RSVPs. Invitations get lost in book bags, people don't feel the need to reply, you don't know how to contact the parents. No, I can do without the stress.

GobbolinoCat · 07/09/2014 11:44

cru its just awful isn't it.

esp when the children are so young, its just cruel, it take nothing to look at calelnder ad shoot off text

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 13:09

Well that's just the point. I'd put my mobile number on the invitation and asked people to RSVP by 6 September. It's really put me off some people.

Out of 30ish kids, we are now expecting 15. God, I hope they all turn up, it would be so awful if it is just a couple of them rattling around the hall we've hired.

OP posts:

IsThisOneTaken · 07/09/2014 13:44

I just don't undetstand people who don't RSVP

Best one I had was someone who RSVP'd yes 2 days before the party ('deadline' was 2 weeks before, but I didn't want to punish the child for their parents not RSVPing on time).

I paid for their place (with grovelling apologies to the venue for changing numbers a week past their deadline) .... Then the boy didn't show.

How fucking hard is it, for God's sake?

calopene · 07/09/2014 19:00

Woah ,how uptight are you ?!! Kick back and relax a bit -it is just a kid's party ,buy a few sausage rolls figs

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 19:59

But what do you do about party bags? Do you buy them for all the invitees or only for those who've replied? Or somewhere in the middle?

OP posts:

Marylou2 · 07/09/2014 20:05

It's so ill mannered. What is wrong with people? You just know they're the same people who don't reply to emails at work.

edwinbear · 07/09/2014 20:06

I also have the same problem, DS party next Sat, out of 14 invitations to his new Year 1 class, only 4 have RSVP'd. I have no contact details for any of them and no idea whether to pay for them/party bag them/cater for them. What is irritating is that there are other children I would like to invite if I knew they definitely weren't coming. So bloody rude.

Original poster

CruCru · 07/09/2014 20:14

I think it may be a case of them wanting to see if they get a better offer and then (possibly) forgetting. I spoke to one couple on Saturday and they'd both assumed the other had replied.

OP posts:

Normanpriceisnotarolemodel · 07/09/2014 20:14

I ended up with about 10 non responders for DS's recent party. I chased up half of them through Facebook or through having had their numbers from previous party invites. 4 of them were a 'yes'! Only one of those who I texted didn't reply - lives in a 3 million quid house but clearly has no manners! The other 5 I couldn't contact and they didn't show. I did have a load of parents ask if siblings could come so numbers were about as expected in the end, as it was in a hall it didn't really matter, but if it was a pay per child party I would not gave been impressed!

Normanpriceisnotarolemodel · 07/09/2014 20:15

Crucru, I did a couple of extra party bags in case any of the non-responders turned up.

GobbolinoCat · 07/09/2014 20:19

it is horrid.

so horrid.

I reply almost as soon as we get invitation, or the next few days maximum, I put the invitation in easy to see place, and write the bday on our calander.

the funny thing is i am so un organised and yet I manage it.

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