What have I really missed out on.

[PiperIsOrange]

I ttc my ds at the age of 19 my son was born when I was 20, then ttc my dd when I was 22 and had her at age 23. I was married at age 25.

DH and I are very happy.

I am 28 and tbh life is great. Ds is asd and dd is a drama llama but we muddle through.

What have I missed out on. Both DH and I work, not in dream jobs but it pays the bills and we have a few day trips out.

So what have I missed out on.

Why do you ask? Do you feel you've missed out? If not then you've missed nothing, it's down to whether or not what you've got is what you want.

Absolutely nothing in my opinion. Sounds like a lovely life

Do you feel like you have missed out on anything?

Student debt, worrying about meeting 'the one', paying bills/rent by yourself, getting so drunk you humiliate yourself and still cringe about it over 15 years later.......

Nothing if you're both happy. You don't miss what you don't know.

However during my twenties I was a student, travelled, worked as a manager in London, partied hard. I'm glad I did that before settling down.

I know a few women, mid forties, who had kids when young and are now living it up.

I also know women and men who love a simpler life.

It takes all sorts.

I think people who have DCs at an early age are at an advantage actually. It means when the DCs are old enough to look after themselves, you are still young enough to enjoy life and do all the travelling (for example) that you didn't do when you were younger. When I was 19 I spent 6 months in Zimbabwe and Malawi. Bloody wish I'd done it later in life when I know I'd have appreciated it so much more.

Precious little , If that's what you wanted to do, then no wonder you're happy. I got married at 24, although as someone whose youngest is 3 and I'm now 40, I envy you that your children will be older by the time you're my age .

nothing is the answer.

we all have our own lives and the decision to live it as we see fit. i can see why ur imagining that maybe u might have missed out. but on what exactly?
falling out of night clubs, drinks and random man in tow?

be happy with what you've made and achieved. the grass is never greener even tho it always appears so. u say it yourself "life is great" continue as you are.

Being young.

nothing - you have what you want

not sure what you are asking to be honest but if you where me you would have missed out on living in London, Munich and on a mountain, doing a degree and masters, moving to another new city to start a job you loved (and still do love), buying your first home as a single woman, lots of lovely sex, relationships, parties and shoes

I wouldn't change that for the world - but I am NOT YOU

Have you travelled the world? Learned to scuba dive in Thailand? Worked as a chalet girl in the alps? Lived in different places, met different people, made mistakes, started again? Built up a meaningful, rewarding and well-paid career?

These are some of the things I was pleased that I'd done by 28 - but I didn't have children then. My Ds1 was born when I was 29. I've three dc and won't have the time to properly pursue my own interests again until I'm about 50. By the time you're my age, your dc will be grown up! :)

We all follow our own paths. You haven't "missed out" on anything, unless there's something you really wanted to do, and didn't. And even then, you can probably still do those things later (unless they necessarily involve being in your early twenties)

Honestly? Pretending to have "fun" while secretly longing for what you actually already have.

Getting drunk, falling over, throwing up, making a tit of yourself.

Anything and everything else I can think of isn't in the least age dependent - education, travel, etc. Actually there's nothing to stop you making a drunken tit of yourself at 40 except for the fact that you'll probably have more sense!

You don't seem to have missed out on anything and your life sounds lovely. For me, i went to uni, I travelled loads, lived with my friend and moved hundreds of miles to a new city with her. Did a post-grad, earned good money and lived it up. Then I got married and had children. I would have missed out on so much but it's horses for courses.

If you're happy, nothing.

Except maybe sleep. At 19 I wasn't waking up for NOBODY.

Well, to answer the question from my perspective, I guess... going to university, travelling, living in another country, hilarious nights out with friends, mad holidays, crazy weekends, being responsibility-free, disposable income, working your way up a career.

You have the rest of your life (i.e. decades and decades) for domesticity, so personally, I don't understand why you'd want to skip the fun decades and rush into all that in your teens.

But that's me, and everyone has different wants and needs.

Why are you asking Op....

What are you thinking you may have missed out on?

Just think of all the free childcare you'll be fit & well enough to do for your grandchildren

I had my son at 19 so fairly similar to you OP. I sometimes think about what I have missed out on and it mainly revolves around being free to travel etc. However, I did go to uni at 25. He's 11 now and so much more independent and by the time he is 21/22, I will only be early forties and can do the travelling I want to do. I plan to take a few months off from work. The world will still be there waiting for you in years to come OP.

If you're very happy then it doesn't matter.

In my teens/twenties I partied all the time, travelled a lot, worked abroad, worked all over the UK, holidays with mates, bought my first house on my own, set my self up financially for the future.
Then met DH and we travelled some more, then DC came along and I'm glad I did all that early on, as I wouldn't have the time or inclination to do most of it now.
If I hadn't, I would've have been a person now with regrets, some people wouldn't.

Various things covered before, but the big one for me is spontaneity. When you have dcs you can still go away and have nights out, but everything needs to be planned.

I loved those nights when an email would ping in my inbox from DH around 5ish asking if I fancied a drink near the station before heading home, then we'd end up staying out, grabbing some food and more drinks together, nothing wild, just not the same limitations. I will never again need "day to night dress" because a night out won't just evolve.

I miss being able to spend Sundays pottering, drinking good coffee, reading the papers, maybe taking a walk without having to think about anyone else.

I miss being able to say "yes, let's go for it" to job offers in other countries without having to think about schooling and removing dcs from settled lives.

I miss being able to go stay in far flung hotels that are completely unsuitable for children, reading 5 books on a holiday, and having a body free from stretch marks in the bikini.

I miss spending rainy Saturday afternoons in bed with DH having very loud sex.

Who knows what would be on your list, you aren't me, you might be a "planner" so not want spontaneity anyway.

I don't feel like I have.

Yes I could have had drunken holidays and living a student life ( what even that is)

You don't sound like you've missed out on anything, OP. You are only 28, and so have plenty of time, and it's lovely that you are happy now. When your kids are grown-up and left home, you will still be a bright young thing (or at least, a very great deal younger than I am now, and I've got a 12 year old). You will be able to go and do whatever else you like then, content that you've already had a really lovely family life and seen your kids out into the world!

It doesnt do to dwell on dreams and forget to live
[Dumbledore]

I do get a little peeved that people I casual meet say young mums missed out on a lot.

As long as you are happy it doesn't matter at all what other people may think. I left it really late to settle down and have a dc ....that has its drawbacks!!

I would not go back to my late teens or twenties. Sounds like you have been lucky
To much angst in those years for me. I think you have missed nothing. Enjoy it!