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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pre-school uniform is a bit sad?

159 replies

CulturalBear · 05/09/2014 16:45

It's that time of year, the FB full of cute pics of kids off to school for the first time.

This year though I noticed a huge number of those heading to pre-school are in full-on actual primary school uniform.

They're barely 3 years old some of them! AIBU to think this is a bit OTT and frankly, sad, trying to force kids into conforming and growing up at earlier and earlier ages?

I could understand taster days in the last few weeks before summer (possibly) but for a whole year? Seems a bit much...

OP posts:
hollie84 · 07/09/2014 07:51

Do you think children get their individuality and personality through their clothes CulturalBear? That seems very... shallow to me.

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 07:54

To be honest I have always found the "oh Amelie is so individual in her tutu and wellies" types say more about the parents than the child.

Sirzy · 07/09/2014 08:00

DS has managed to retain individuality and personality even with wearing a uniform to pre-school

wigglesrock · 07/09/2014 08:09

CulturalBear - do you not think that teachers and staff that work in a nursery school/primary see childrens individuality and personality. My daughters nursery school teachers only saw them when they were at school, in uniform. They encouraged, nurtured my 2 daughters personalities and were able to read them and understand their quirks, talents, things they weren't great at etc and I have no doubt that they will continue to do that from tomorrow (oh happy day) with dd3 even if they are faced with a class wearing jogging bottoms and a polo shirt.

CinderellaRockefeller · 07/09/2014 08:18

Dd went to preschool last year in open necked polo, pinafore, cardigan, tights and t bar shoes. This year in reception she has blazer, blouse, tie, pinafore, cardigan, tights and school shoes, so it feels like she's still taken a step up. She also has a pair of kick about trainers she changes into for break and then wellies and a school supplied boiler suit for when they go off adventuring in the school grounds (a daily occurrence!) so the uniform itself doesn't get as trashed as it could :)

I liked the uniform last year because it saved effort, there was no bickering in the week about what to wear for nursery. I quite like uniform in general though, I wish we had one at work as things like dress down Friday and "smart casual" lead me to stress massively about what exactly would be the appropriate level of smart (or casual) so maybe dd has inherited that from me.

JoandMax · 07/09/2014 08:24

DS2 did pre-school in his brothers school (and where he's just started reception) and they had a uniform. Polo shirt, school shorts (elasticated waist) and black trainers, it's the same for reception and only changes for Year 1 where its a shirt and tie and proper school shoes.

I never really gave it much thought until reading this thread! But neither of mine are at all bothered what they wear, they just put on whatever I give them.

CinderellaRockefeller · 07/09/2014 08:28

"To be honest I have always found the "oh Amelie is so individual in her tutu and wellies" types say more about the parents than the child."

Brilliant :D

I don't think at three or four, most kids are choosing and buying their own clothes? If dd is with me I will ask her opinion but I buy other things because I see them and like them. While she has favourites, they're still an expression of my taste rather than hers.

If she dressed to entirely express HER taste she'd be in head to toe peppa pig branded polyester from Asda.

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 08:31

I wonder if it's a difference between having boys and girls JoandMax? Some mothers of girls feel it is important to socialise them to take great care of their appearance and how they're dressed, whereas I have two boys and even if not in uniform they tend to wear joggers, t-shirts and jumpers anyway. My priority is comfortable, practical and washable, and like yours mine aren't really bothered by what they wear.

insancerre · 07/09/2014 08:31

I'm am early years teacher and I manage to see children an individuals whatever they are wearing
We have a uniform and I see the benefits
The children are beginning the transition to school. They also have a sense of their own identity as part of the nursery family as well as their own family. It gives them a sense of belonging

combust22 · 07/09/2014 08:50

My kids loved the uniform as did I.
They were very excited and felt very grown up. It gave them a sense of beloning to the "club" and levelled out the children from the rich to the poor.
It was a school sweatshirt with logo and polo shirt in a dark colour. Cheap to buy, easy to wash, made mornings easy as no choosing outfits.

As for making kids "conform"- I disagree. Uniform gives children th opportunity to express teir differences in other ways rather than though their clothes.

We live in such an image concious culture obsessed with fashion and appearance. I think minimising the importance of that is a great thing for kids and uniform does just that.

Goldenbear · 07/09/2014 09:02

2/3 year olds 'learn' through play. In my mind there is nothing playful about 'uniform' it is conformist and serious. It is forcing little children to be 'serious' about learning- I.e when you wear this outfit it is time to be formal in your approach to learning- like children are at 'school', basically it's forcing them to grow up quicker!

There is plenty of time to 'learn' in that way but at this age children learn through play and that playful approach is reinforced by a non-uniform setting. My DD's nursery is free flow so she can go from the main inside area to the garden whenever she wants- that freedom to explore rather than conform is what 'education' should be about at this age IMO- a uniform does not represent that freedom. My DD often does want to wear mismatching clothes or some fairy wings or a witches hat, Doctor's jacket, she is asserting her independence from me in doing so, being playful with it and most importantly 'learning' in an age appropriate way- nothing whatsoever to do with being 'shallow'.

Goldenbear · 07/09/2014 09:04

Not 'quicker' too quickly.

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 09:04

4 and 5 year olds learn through play as well Goldenbear - not sure how a practical school uniform stops them playing? It doesn't even stop them dressing up.

Goldenbear · 07/09/2014 09:18

My DD genuinely does like wearing tutu skirts with her Wellies -some are from my Dad who works in Africa so are not a conventional look at all. She also has lots of beaded bracelets/necklaces from him that she likes to wear. It is honestly her preferences as she loves her Wellies. It is truly an expression of who she is. I was never like that but she is so it is about her 'individuality' in that sense. She would be very upset if I denied her that for the sake of how it looks to others out and about as I am very aware people think that the parents are behind this idea more than the children.

insancerre · 07/09/2014 09:20

I have never heard a child say " I can't get my nursery uniform dirty"
On the other hand I have heard many children, mostly girls, say "iI'm not allowed to do painting or play on the mud in my new dress"
On my experience wearing a uniform at nursery gives children freedom to play
We have dressing up out all the time, as well as painting, playdpugj, sand and water, the mud kitchen outside, and the children can choose whatever they want to play with without having to worry about making mummy cross that their latest designer clothes have been ruined.
I have seen many children run to feet their parents , clutching their artistic efforts. Only to be greeted with " look at the state of you! I told you not to get your new dress dirty"
Now that's sad

hollie84 · 07/09/2014 09:22

Of course Goldenbear, I'm sure she's just as individual as all the other little girls who are dressed in tutus and wellies.

RandallFloyd · 07/09/2014 09:32

Blimey, Hollie, who rattled your cage?
Is there any need to be so snippy? We're all just giving an opinion, neither one makes the other superior.

I can see both sides tbh but my gut feeling is that I still don't like it. My primary school's uniform was optional and I never had a problem feeling like I belonged or worrying that my clothes were dirty.

It's just my view that uniform isn't any more practical and is just another way we make out kids grow up too quickly.

Sirzy · 07/09/2014 09:34

Not sure how a sensible uniform (polo and pants type) stops them playing. Certainly hasn't any of the children I know!

On the other hand the parents who send children in in fancy clothes then complian when they get dirty (which does happen) does stop children playing!

Most kids will play whatever they are wearing (if allowed!)

RandallFloyd · 07/09/2014 09:37

Most kids will play whatever they are wearing

Oh I'm with you there. My DS doesn't give a crap what he's wearing. It's me who doesn't like it, he wouldn't notice the difference for a second!

Goldenbear · 07/09/2014 09:41

Yes 4/5 years old do have to learn through play in school but they're also learning to conform in a more serious educational setting- the start of the departure from 'wholly' playful learning. It can and 'is' argued that 4/5 year olds are too young for this serious approach but to apply that to 2/3 is forcing them to operate beyond their years.

Equally, it is not just about 'dressing up' clothes, the playfulness of casual clothes as opposed to the serious nature of uniform- it is the message that it sends to the child, 'when you put this on it is time to conform not to express yourself, be creative.' That is not age appropriate learning for a 2/3 year old.

LittleBearPad · 07/09/2014 09:41

Polo shirts and black trousers are one thing. A blazer, tie and cap on a two year old are another.

LynetteScavo · 07/09/2014 09:41

Full uniforms for children in the nursery year seem to be more usual now...I think state schools are trying to imitate some independent schools.

Personally I think a smock or sweatshirt/t-shirt is the way to go for nursery children.

Pinkrose1 · 07/09/2014 09:42

All the kids here wear a uniform but there is leeway with skirts, trousers, tops etc.

I'm sure some of the yummy mummies would be decking their kids out in designer clothes and creating a two tier dress code for many other kids, so the uniform is a brilliant leveller. Unless you want children to develop a sense of superiority/inferiority so young?

Also takes all the hassle out of clothes choosing in the morning.

Also uniforms can be cheap to buy and easy care. What's not to like?

Goldenbear · 07/09/2014 09:50

Hollie, I meant 'indviduality' in the sense that it is separation from me and what I think she should wear and look like- which is how you have to treat a baby who is unable to express their independence from you through choice of clothes.

Sirzy · 07/09/2014 09:50

I don't like shirt/tie/blazer uniform for ks1 (or primary at all really) but have no issue with a comfy, practical polo shit/sweater based uniform