to ask if people have identified themselves on mn?

[kormasutra]

Hi, I've recently nc as my previous mn name had negative connotations for me ( think losing school appeal! ) but have only been on mn since the beginning of the year.

Anyway, sometimes when lurking in AIBU? Some posters go into great detail and I've often wondered has anybody read something and knew it was them being spoken about by obvious identify details?

The amount of people I've spoken to recently who've told me that they're also on mn has made me wonder, that's all.

This is a genuine question, I still feel like a newbie so don't go too hard on me!
Also, how on earth do you do the whole "putting the line through words thingy" completely off subject but I'd love to know.

I've recognised someone on here from a very specific set of circumstances. She distorted what had happened. She got a lot of YANBUs only in RL she was BU. She has since made a significant decision that will bring her problems going forward.

I was very conflicted. I could tell she was in a bad place and wanted to reach out to her. On the other hand she badmouthed people & wrongly called their professionalism into question.

I learnt from that and name change often. I'm also careful with details - might change the gender or age of DC.

I do always think a neighbour AIBU will be about me because our NDN is a neurotic pain in the arse.

yes it is always interesting hearing accounts of school unfairness when you were on the other side and the parent concerned is utterly BARKING, suggesting intrigue and conspiracy where there was none.

i found it really hard not to get involved

I don't name change, but haven't really said anything in here that I would worry about IFSWIM. My wife is on here too - we know each other's MN Names. I have occasionally read a post that I have thought I could really relate to - to then look at the name and realise why

Probably also worth noting that my DCs are not yet of school age. I may no when posts have the potential to identify school, pupils or teachers I guess...

I have never been outed as such, but I have nc a few times because dh has wondered over when I've been posting and noticed my nn. I don't like him knowing it in case I want to rant about him being an arsehole... Of course, I never have, because he's perfect just in case he knows this nn

No. Though another poster and I worked out that we had had the same teacher but at different schools in the same city. Thereby broadcasting to all of mumsnet quite a bit about ourselves.

It doesn't bother me, really.

Though I suppose I can't really expect to go on forever with this handle,I've been quite open and as time goes on that will increasingly identify me.

Certainly I'm grateful chat threads only last 30 days.

Not here but on another forum I knew immediately that a thread was to do with me just from the title.

It was a professional forum that for various reasons the general public also had access to but rarely posted on. A customer of mine posted a question querying the information/ professional advice I had given them. They didn't name me or indicate that they thought the information was wrong, it was more they were double checking that it was right (they were known to be very litigious/ adversarial if they felt it would benefit them financially).

The timing, context and phrasing was too much of a coincidence not to be them.

Reader.... I replied using my (well known and much trusted) username on that forum stating the advice was correct and giving them some supplementary information of how they should approach the professional on the next occasion

I did ponder long and hard the ethics of it, but eventually came to the conclusion that not only was I not benefiting financially in any way (although they also wouldn't either), but that the outcome would be a better service for them and a better working relationship for both of us!

you shoudl have told them something really funny to do

I'm fairly easy to spot if you know me, but I don't write anything on here I wouldn't discuss in real life.
DH may have outed me last week to someone. He was telling her about an identifiable thread I had started here, so if she is a MNetter, she know it was me

I identified a mum from DS's class a few years ago, she mentioned something newsworthy that had happened to the school, the age of her DS and what she did for a living (unusual job). It wasn't hard to work out. When I clicked on her profile it had her photo on it, so I guess she wasn't bothered! Haven't spotted her again in years though.

I identified another mum from DS's class, as she posted on a thread about our town and mentioned the town she was just about to move away to and again the ages of her DCs. However a terrible tragedy happened to her family very soon after (I don't think she posted about it, but it was national news) and I made a conscious decision to forget I'd seen her here.

One of my friends found me on an ante-natal thread on Babycentre (poor choice of nickname). So I stopped posting there.

I've not identified the person but I knew that they were talking about an incident that occurred in real life. It didn't involve her or her DC, she was a bystander who watched said incident unfold. She NC for the post so that is why I can't identify her but could identify the incident as it was so unique and she hadn't changed any of the details even down to people's names.

I recognised an acquaintance and I told her the next time I saw her as it felt a bit creepy and stalkerish that she didn't know that I knew. I over-shared a splendid birth story so anyone local to me involved in birth stuff would probably recognise me.

My RL friends know I MN. The MNetters amongst them know my name on here. So I post as though I use my real name on FB.

I have a name change for if I want to admit one small minor fact about my inner thinking. It's trite and about a celebrity crush.

I recognised myself through a set of specific circumstances, on a distorted and embellished AIBU thread written by DP's barking ex-p.

I was shocked and angry at first but reasoned it was so far from the truth it wasnt really about me at all. She kept posting but I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to waste my time reading her fantasy posts and decided not to search her username again.

I can't believe how naive some people can be. I name change regularly and even then don't assume I will remain anonymous.

I have an alternative name that I swap to every now and again - just as a sort of double-check on being outed...

Dumb question I know, but how do you go about changing your name on here?

Do you then need to change back again or can you have more than one on the go at the same time?

Taxi- I went into my profile and did it there.
As far as I'm aware it's one name at a time though I may be wrong.
It's pretty straightforward to do:)

I think Mardy is spot on. I have used this name (and its fuller, unabbreviated version) for most of the 8 years I've been here, and so will probably be very identifiable. Over the years I've met lots of MNetters, so lots of people know who I am. (And obviously I know who they are )

And because I run the low carb Bootcamps, this name gets about a bit!

I name change for different seasons, e.g. Christmas name, or if there's a silly thread going on, but that's only occasionally. If I have something really personal, or something that might identify any members of my family, that I want to post about, I have a particular name that I use.

I also have an 'emergency name' that I plan to switch to if there are ever any issues with this one.

I am another type of MN user - the type that gets fed up of the general feeling about the place from time to time and fed up about the time slurp that is MN - so I join for 2-3 months every 6 months to a year or so... then leave - deleting account so that I "won't" be coming back...

have not been outed - not surprisingly.

If you're running a thread under one name but also contributing to others, you need to go back and name change again before posting.

Once a name has been used, it remains your 'property' forever, so no one else can use it again, even if you de-register. I've heard HQ will sometimes let old users re-register under their original name if they grovel enough, but it's a massive PITA for Tech.

I've namechanged and therefore acquired several close variants of Alpacalypse, as one of my earliest names was very close to someone else's whose views were very different from my own and I got fed up of being mistaken for her or him.

There are several Alpacas on here but we're all fairly sane and have similar senses of humour so I don't mind

DB recognised me under this nn and texted me to let me know. So I keep this nn as a WYSIWYG name, where I'm not saying anything anyone who knows me wouldn't hear from me IRL.

I hold other names for my quiche and other more sensitive or private topics like my sex life.

I was lurking in a pregnancy board on a forum recently, the posts included: What age are you? Where are you from? What number child is this for you? Along with others stuff, if someone filled in all that (a lot of posters also included how long they were with their dp/dh and how long they have been married to them) and had put other personal/identifiable information in other posts and someone googled their history, some would probably be outed. To stay anon it is probably best not to overshare or to change your username regularly

I guess NC is good if you just use it on the one topic that gives away who you might be?

Not on this mn, but recognised a post from my SIL on another forum. It was a very personal post about her relationship with her DH, everyone told her to leave. She didn't and went on to have a child with him and is still with him. They have had some serious problems over the last few years - the whole thing makes me really sad. Since reading that post I've never been able to hide my dislike of her husband - and he knows it (but doesn't know why obviously)

I de-registered from that forum and didn't go back - I felt awful having seen it