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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be getting more miffed about this the more I think about it.

19 replies

kentishgirl · 05/09/2014 13:40

I have odd crooked front teeth (ones next to the very front two) - similar to how Kirsten Dunsts were but more so.

I also had lots of damaged and some broken teeth until I plucked up courage to go to dentist recently for the first time in about 15 years. I'm very happy with how my teeth look now - broken front tooth now has crown, others have white fillings, it's about as good as my mouth has looked since I was very young. DP also had a lost bridge for a front tooth replaced at the same time, after several months of having a gap.

At DPs parents we were talking about the dentist and our new looks and being all smiley and happy about our teeth.

Then his mum abruptly barked at me 'Why didn't you have braces as a child? Can't you have some now?' and I felt really taken aback and not sure how to respond. She's only the 2nd person to have commented on my wonky teeth. I was so busy thinking 'I can't believe you said that, how rude' to say much, just said 'no' and she asked why not and I said 'too expensive' and she asked how much would it cost, and I just said 'thousands'. DP saw I was getting wound up and jumped in saying 'costs too much' and changed the subject.

At the time I was kind of amused/amazed that she'd come right out and said that. But now I'm feeling hurt and self concious about them again (I used to be very embarrassed by them but got over it). She might as well have said 'your teeth still look like shit'.

I know we were talking about our teeth but about the work that had been done and repairs to damaged teeth. My wonky teeth are perfectly healthy, it just an aesthetic thing.

I suppose it's too late to say anything about it now...but if she says something again, what do I say?

OP posts:
Germgirl · 05/09/2014 13:45

Tell her just that, that your teeth, while bit wonky, are healthy & the won lines doesn't bother you so you don't feel the need to change them.

Smilesandpiles · 05/09/2014 13:45

Don't say anything.

I had braces but one of my teeth has gone back to it's original place - my dentist said that it's now recomended that retainers are used for life. I used mine for the 6 months recommended to me at the time.

I'm looking into wether I can get it put back into place. They do have payment plans available if that's the road you want to go down.

Germgirl · 05/09/2014 13:46

Won lines? wonkiness !!

Original poster
kentishgirl · 05/09/2014 13:53

Maybe I should ask her if she's thought about getting filler injections for her wrinkles, lol.

OP posts:
AmberLav · 05/09/2014 13:54

My teeth were awful when I was a child and what I have now is a massive improvement on before! They are far from perfect, but I have no wish to mess with them further, as mu main aim is to have healthy teeth till the day I die, and that is my priority, not a mouthful of white perfect teeth, as that requires a lot of possible damage to the structure.

Tell your MiL that... I've had that conversation before, and most people go, oh okay, and never mention it again...

Smilesandpiles · 05/09/2014 13:55

I brag that although one of them is wonky, I've never had a filling. EVER.

That shuts a lot of people up.

Popsandpip · 05/09/2014 14:02

Do you think that because you're very sensitive about them, you took her questions in the wrong spirit? It seems like an appropriate query given you were talking about the work you've just had done on your teeth to improve them.

awsomer · 05/09/2014 14:03

I had braces as a child but my teeth went wonky again anyway. I'd love those invisible braces now, I've looked into it but it is thousands and like you say, if you have healthy teeth and the only problem is aesthetics, how can you justify spending that much money on yourself? Especially as they might just go wonky again!

Congrats on your new smile. Don't let her bring you down Flowers

Original poster
kentishgirl · 05/09/2014 14:03

I'm winding myself up over it as it feels like she pissed on my chips.

I'm so pleased with how my teeth look, so proud of myself for getting over my very real fear of dentists (I've just had 3, yes 3 drilling visits for a root canal right at the back which I could never have gone through before, and am having a crown made for it), and then she had to make me feel bad about them again.

OP posts:
EssexGurl · 05/09/2014 14:37

YANBU. I had braces as a child. Those horrid train track type ones. My front teeth are still wonky! Friend has just been through Invisalign and looks fantastic. A whole year of discomfort and cost is not for me. I shall stay wonky.

Good for you going to the dentist though. I need to pluck up the courage .....

Original poster
kentishgirl · 05/09/2014 15:13

Hi Essexgurl - can't recommend any in Essex I'm afraid, they're why I'm scared of dentists! Worth hunting round - I'm so happy with my new one for the first time in decades.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 05/09/2014 15:19

I don't understand why you wouldn't have had it done, to be honest. Dentists and orthodontists are free to children in the UK if it is seen as necessary. I had mine done and it meant a long trek for myself and my mum every six weeks for a couple of years. Mum struggled to find the coach fairs sometimes, but did it because it was important. I say this as someone who is referred to the 'special access' dentist for people with issues, so know where you are coming from as far as being phobic goes.

I would not have been rude enough to comment though.

Original poster
kentishgirl · 05/09/2014 15:48

Because I was a kid in the 70s and it wasn't so common then, few kids had braces, no one bothered so much, it's not like nowadays when loads of kids have them. And my parents didn't put much emphasis on dentistry at all to be honest - they are of the generation where you get all your teeth pulled out and have dentures instead quite young and it's a good thing. I went when I was small but said I didn't want to go any more when I got to about 12 years old, so I didn't.

OP posts:
JADS · 05/09/2014 19:35

Hi op. I'm not an orthodontist but it sounds like you have a particular brand of wonkiness that is very very difficult to treat and is very prone to relapse. It is also described as the "most attractive malocclusion" which sounds like an insult but really isn't.

Well done on getting your teeth sorted. Getting the foundations right is so much more important than fannying around with cosmetics. Your mil is a twonk.

MammaTJ · 06/09/2014 07:43

So was I a kid in the 70's and it was not that unusual. I had it done! We had to travel a long way to a specialist orthodontist, as my teeth were complex.

I would go so far as to say that parents not sorting that out for their children are neglectful.

combust22 · 06/09/2014 07:56

"I would go so far as to say that parents not sorting that out for their children are neglectful."

I don't agree. My DDs teeth are a little croooked ( not so much as to qualify for NHS funding) and her orthodontist thinks we have gone a bit crazy "fixing" perfectly healthy teeth.

He also is of the opinion thatretainers are likely to be needed for life with many "fixes", but also that it is never too late for orthodontic treatment.

I have slightly "wonky" teeth, but hasn't affected me. My teeth are clean, white and I smile a lot, I accept that my slightly crooked smile is just part of the variance that makes me who I am.

Look at he USA where their desire for perfect teeth makes for some very ugly synthetic looking teeth.

My DD could have orthodontic work but we have discussed it at length and she has chosen not to at this stage. She doesn't feel she even has a "problem" she is perfectly happy with her white clean filling- free teeth.

upyourninja · 06/09/2014 07:59

MammaTJ: way to generalise from your own experience in a completely inappropriate way...

There certainly are differences in NHS provision. I was sent by my dentist to the orthodontist in the late 90s and the orthodontist just laughed and said that I must want braces because they were 'trendy'. He refused to treat me. I have just had braces and jaw surgery to correct the same issue he sent me away for all those years ago. NHS funding comes and goes, as do the whims of orthodontists.

Well done on getting sorted OP. Your mouth must be a whole lot more comfortable now!

ThePrisonerOfAzkaban · 06/09/2014 08:08

Hate my wonky teeth, but having braces put back on next week to bring the gap in my top teeth closed. I'm using the my straight teeth method, it costs £1000 and that includes teeth whitening afterwards. It won't sort out my overbite but they will look better, after they come off I'm having a retainer fitted behind my teeth to cement them in place permanently. Can't wait too be proud of my teeth like you, well done

MammaTJ · 06/09/2014 11:09

upyourninja, in your case it was the Orthodontist who was neglectful.

I have watched jaw surgery and it is pretty traumatic.

The OP stated she was a child in the 70's though, so the same as me. Yours was the 90's.

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