To just want people to do what they've committed to do?

[Lookingfortheone]

Apologies for the rant, before I even start. I am of course well aware that this is a first world problem and I am overall very lucky to have a wonderful, healthy DD, to have enough to eat and a roof over our heads and live in a safe part of the world. However...

I'm going back to work from ML shortly. We had a new nanny who was due to start with us this morning and last night she sent us an email telling us that she was pulling out because she wanted to stay with her old family after all. This isn't the first time this has happened - three weeks ago, the same thing happened with a different nanny (meant to be starting this Monday) whose boyfriend was transferred to Chicago and she was going with him. She didn't actually tell us - she just told the agency.

I totally appreciate that obviously these ladies have to do what's best for them and that it is perfectly reasonable to want to move to another country or to not move jobs. But if you feel like this, why would you apply for and accept a new job, knowing that you were going to leave someone completely in the lurch, just to keep your options open? I'm particularly confused about the most recent lady - she knew that we were already desperate when she interviewed with us and took the job and now most of the other nannies we spoke to at the same time have found other jobs. We have no nursery place and the waiting lists for local nurseries (Clerkenwell) appear to be long. Thank God, my mum and dad can look after DD for a couple of weeks to buy us some time but they live at the other end of the country so we can't ask them to do this permanently.

I know that a number of nanny agencies simply advertise a role and wait for responses. Could anyone possible recommend any good agencies in London who already have people on their books and so can pro-actively speak to nannies for you? I would really appreciate it - we're really up against it now in terms of timing. I am otherwise dreading ringing my boss only 3 or 4 weeks in and telling him I can't actually turn up to work because I have no childcare. I just want someone who will love DD and who she will love back while I'm away and I had no idea that it would be so complicated.

Very disappointing. Hope you find someone soon.

What a nightmare op - I do hope you get the much needed support soon.

It is enough hard work finding a reliable babysitter I can imagine reliable nannies are even harder.

We went for a childminder at first -from 5 months old until 18 months. No complaints regarding the childminders but the move to nursery at 18 months does make you realise how much more convenient and reliable an organisation is versus individuals. Second DS is going to same nursery (baby room) at 11 months as I have a longer period of mat leave this time.

Sympathies for your situation, you just want to know that everything is right and in place, getting back to work is challenging enough. Get calling round /show your face at every nursery within an acceptable travelling distance (which you might need to redefine for now) and let them know you've been left in the lurch, likewise local childminders. I think people will be more responsive to a personal approach e.g. I met childminders at first who were clear they preferred part-time work (so I thought I'd need two to cover the week) but after face to face meetings all agreed to offered to work full-time.

Why is it you who as to ring boss and say not turning up for work? Childcare isn't just women's work.

Rainbow, I know, I know, but DH works for a famously un-family friendly organisation and is also often working abroad. For all I agree with you, in practice it is likely to be me.