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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let dd do this?

22 replies

whimsicalteabag · 04/09/2014 22:41

Dd (15) has been part of a "Bully Mentor" scheme at school, and has come home to tell me that on Tuesday and Wednesday, she's been asked to do to full days off timetable to train for it. AIBU to not let her do this, due to her being in Y11 and working for GSCE's?10 lessons can make a huge difference at this and when Dd asked the teacher, she said that they would be able to catch up, and it would look great for their CVs Hmm. I've written a letter to the teacher, and Dd is protesting that she wants to do it, but I think missing two full days at this point is unreasonable. AIBU?

OP posts:
latika · 04/09/2014 22:45

I would totally encourage this - self development comes in lots of forms and this is 'education' too.

It's also great that she has been chosen to be a candidate for this!

MulberryPeony · 04/09/2014 22:47

It is two days, I'm sure she'll cope.

EBearhug · 04/09/2014 22:48

How is her school work generally? Does she usually struggle, or is she mostly on top of things?

I think I probably wouldn't be too worried at the start of the year, and the teachers think they can catch up, so I veer towards letting her. However, you're her mother, and you know her, so you have more information to make the decision with.

MrsWinnibago · 04/09/2014 22:49

YABU

WorraLiberty · 04/09/2014 22:49

As long as your DD has otherwise good attendance (as a rule) and is conscientious enough to catch up, I would back off and leave it up to her.

littlejohnnydory · 04/09/2014 22:51

YABU, it's a great thing to do and she will easily catch up. These things will be just as important for a cv / Uni application as exam results.

Original poster
whimsicalteabag · 04/09/2014 22:51

Also, another girl's parents wrote a letter stating their Dd shouldn't do it, and when she mentioned it this morning, the teacher said that she'd just ring her mother and speak to her. It may be only two days, but that's two maths lessons, English, chemisty, physics and Dd does struggle with science and maths a little. She is saying she won't hand the letters in...

OP posts:
EduCated · 04/09/2014 22:51

It could look good in her UCAS personal statement, if she's heading towards uni.

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 04/09/2014 22:57

Are the teachers (other than the one running the program) on board and willing to help them catch up? If so, I can't see the problem. It is incredibly early in the school year and I can't really see how 10 lessons is going to make or break her year, especially when the time will be productively spent on other valuable skills.

WorraLiberty · 04/09/2014 22:59

If she struggles with maths and science a little, I'm sure the school will help with this anyway.

I have a 15yr old DS so I know how important this school year is, but I would still speak to him about it and as long as I was confident that he would catch up on the missed work, I would be proud to let him do it.

She's on her way to becoming a young adult (and a lovely one by the sound of it). I think you should trust her and not stand in her way.

Voluntary work is a noble thing, especially amongst (often) selfish teenagers.

pictish · 04/09/2014 23:00

Yabu...it's a feather to her cap.

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 04/09/2014 23:00

Plus your DD clearly feels strongly about this, so if you force her into the regular classroom for these two days is she actually going to get a better return on that time than doing the course?

AnotherStitchInTime · 04/09/2014 23:01

Two days will be fine. I used to work in a secondary school that ran this training, they can make up the lessons. There will be lots of lesson and extra holiday revision time before the GCSE's where she can go over any bits she struggled with again. It will look great on her CV.

isitsnowingyet · 04/09/2014 23:02

I would let my son or daughter take part in that, definitely. Two days off now will not make a massive difference, and it's great that your DD is engaged and wanting to do it.

It could lead to other things for her.

feathermucker · 04/09/2014 23:02

YABU

Ehhn · 04/09/2014 23:06

It's not really 10 lessons - it's more like one or two per subject, which is not going to be a big gap. English won't really need much catching up, science and maths will need to be caught up properly. Make a deal with her that she gets the notes and copies up 2 subjects per night for a week, or spends a Saturday doing it. Quite frankly, with the little work most classes cover in a 35 minute lesson (double lessons are much more useful) and the lack of homework in the majority of schools, she should be able to catch up very quickly.

Original poster
whimsicalteabag · 04/09/2014 23:07

Dd and you lot have twisted my arm (although mainly Dd threatening to self- practice on us using her various accents) Wink and we have decided that she's going to do it (three of her best friends are doing it) although if on the first day it turns out to be trust exercises and sitting in circles (her words) then I'll request for her to go back. Thank you for all your help!

Posted on wrong thread- hope this works!!! Smile

OP posts:
Charlesroi · 04/09/2014 23:11

YABU. Two days out of the classroom will not make or break her year and there will be plenty of time to catch up on missed topics. I actually think the sense of achievement may give her a confidence boost to help her work through why she struggles with some subjects.

odyssey2001 · 04/09/2014 23:16

I think she should do it. Great personal development opportunity and it will look good when applying to uni. Make sure she asks for the work she misses in the lessons on order to catch up.

WorraLiberty · 04/09/2014 23:40

I'm glad you're letting her do it.

She sounds as though she's a credit to you and I agree with odyssey about personal development.

It's easy to see year 11 as being all about exams, but the teens are growing into young adults at the same time, and need to personally develop themselves too.

BackforGood · 04/09/2014 23:52

I'm glad you've changed your mind.
YwereBU. Smile

TheIronGnome · 05/09/2014 00:00

It sounds great! Glad you've changed your mind op

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