To make DS pay to replace the PE kit he lost

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

ON HIS FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?!

He's just started Year 7. He went in today with £70's worth of brand-new PE kit. I'd paid £15 for his locker. He didn't put his PE kit in there "because none of the other kids did."

He went for lunch, put his bag and his PE bag on the floor of the playground. Forget to pick up his PE bag again. He remembered at the end of the day, went back to get it and it'd gone. He checked Lost Property but it wasn't there.

I'd warned him: anything you lose, you replace. I've spent over £200 on uniform, PE kit, trainers, stationery and equipment and the sodding locker.

He has PE tomorrow. :(

Questions:

1. Is it likely to be found again? It's all labelled.

1. If it isn't, AIBU to make him use his savings (he has £80) to replace the contents of the bag? I don't think I am. I know it's harsh, but I think it might be a good lesson for him in not being so scatty. (This is not the first time he's been scatty.)

It might turn up but I wouldn't hold your breath at those prices as not all the parents would of brought it and sadly will just cut the tags out.

Making them pay if they have the money and have been warned sounds fair and the whole fitting in thing is fine but now they will be the child without their pe kit tomorrow so using the schools spares! That does nothing for reputation this early in.

Also check your fb selling sites if your on fb a lot of the parents round here sold off their no more needed school uniforms for pittance compared to the retail prices.

Lets say tou feel sorry for him and you don't make him pay, (even if just half) he won't listen to you and do it again, after all, you threatened to make him pay this time and you didnt

That all made sense in my head!

I'm of the " you get one chance" brigade.

One lost blazer etc and I'll replace. But a whole kit in one go? No way would I pay for it all.

Those who say " it's £10 in sainsburys" don't realise secondary kit has to be bought from the school shop and there are multiple elements- 2 or 3 tops, 2 shorts, trakkies etc.

Firstly he will have to face what ever sanctions for no kit for the next session. Good I say! Actually he won't be the only one and they'll probably be soft but still.

Secondly I think I'd replace and charge him half. BUT for the optional items - fancy bag/ choice of trainers I'd apply my usual rule - I'd pay the basic price and he'd top up ( eg Umbro bag £5 or Nike bag £15. You choose the cool bag, you pay the difference!)

Most if all op, even if school don't specify ( and yours do) I'd get the shop to embroider his name on everything bar socks. Yes on the outside and in contrast. It won't be nicked easily then. Machine embroidery is a pig to unpick - we changed DD1 initial to dD2 when the kit was handed down and that was tricky!

(DS had the piss taken marvellously one lesson when he'd forgotten kit and turned up labelled " B Singh " after borrowing some. Teacher referred to him as that all lesson!)

Oh god this is my nightmare. My new year 7 son's PE Kit cost me £110 - that's not including rugby socks, kit bag, trainers, hockey stick and gum shields. And no I couldn't just pop into a supermarket and buy it as his secondary school PE kit is all branded and from a specific supplier. Whoever said that theirs only cost a tenner probably hasn't got a secondary school kid. My DS's uniform set me back almost £400. And it's not private! AND he only got two of everything apart from blazer/shoes and one sodding PE kit!

He has his initials in HUGE yellow letters on the front of everything but he still managed yesterday to come home with someone else's top. I was fuming and let rip - and then he found his own kit underneath. But then I was fuming for the poor mum who had opened her own son's PE bag and seen the (£34) top missing. He's taken it back in this morning and told that if it appears again this evening, I'll teach him to clean the toilets after school.

Bloody school uniform. I agree with it in principle, but some stuff is so damn expensive. I haven't spend £400 on myself all year

YANBU OP and tbh if you've used the threat that he has to pay then he should do so- or he'll never learn. You could always say that he has to pay half this time but all the next if it's easier- make him do all the labelling and shopping with you though!

You told him he would have to pay for replacemtns, so make him pay. Otherwise you undermine your own authority.

Perhaps wait a few weeks for it to turn up though - and get the school on side.

Poor you (and him!) here's hoping the kit is returned soon. I think you are right to try to teach him a lesson, but maybe a token amount £30? rather than the whole thing. As others have said, it's day 1 of high school with all the anxieties and emotions that go with it. He was trying to fit in with the "no one else put it in the locker" thing and has paid a huge price. Plus he is probably upset that he has upset you too especially when he promised he would look after things. Good luck, my DS joined year 7 this week too, and it's hard for everyone. Try to look on the bright side, he might not do it again! ??

Thank you all so much. The good news is - he found it! :) We're both VERY happy and relieved!

Here's hoping no other boy loses their kit this year.

First day of senior school, he's trying to fit in, do what others do not to look odd. It's a shame it's lost. May turn up. But put yourself in his shoes.

Harsh lesson as to why you think for yourself. He didn't use common sense by putting it in a locker, and now he gets to pay the consequences.

"Everyone else was doing it" didn't fly for me growing up, and it won't fly for DD to. She's accountable for her actions and inactions.

Oh good! Glad he found it!

Hopefully the scare of potentially losing his savings on school uniforms instead of fun stuff will keep him from being irresponsible again. :)

Here's hoping no other boy loses their kit this year.

That is kind of like hoping for peace on a global scale! :o

My son just started secondary school and has a habit of losing things so when we went to buy his pe kit from the uniform shop I was given the option of having his initials printed on.

That's what we did, surely he can't lose it now!

Slightly off topic,first pe lesson was Friday, he came home from school, shirt had 3 buttons missing and his trousers were ripped and beyond saving.

Felt like screaming:)

DS lost his for about a month and dh found it within minutes of going in to look. He said to be fair it is chaos so I say cut him some slack, tell him not to be an idiot and copy the other kids as they aren't the one replacing the lost/stolen kit and ask if he can wear stuff in the unnamed lost property bit until it turns up.

Hey korma he didn't loose them though! How did rip his trousers?

Glad the ops kit turned up!

Mine get to lose one thing, then a bollocking and depending on what and who they pay half then if it is lost again they pay the whole lot and that would happen every time they lost it. We also made ds1 pay the car park fee when we had to go and get his stuff from the bus station. He lost a kit, turned up on the bus, got it back then lost the second kit he had taken in the same day .

Hi Theas18, he has aspergers and really struggles with dressing but I thought we had mastered it by now!
His primary trousers had a button at the top, these new ones have a clasp, he couldn't undo it so must have just pulled and pulled until the whole thing ripped off and somehow his trousers were split back to front??
He doesn't have a reasonable explanation as to how!
Just been out to buy another pair as he only had two pairs to start with.
Boys eh!!

Glad the PE kit turned up.

That's good news!

I was just remember how at my school my locker was in the my form room (a science lab) and not very accessible at other times except registration. I think it would be good if had rows of lockers up the main corridors like they always do in American films. That might encourage kids to use them more so expensive kit doesn't get lost...

I'm very glad that he found it, but where was it? Will he use the locker in future?