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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get a handwriting tutor for DS or not worry?

50 replies

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 17:30

DS has just started yr 2 today. His handwriting is appalling. He's left-handed and a boy (obviously!) which I know are two disadvantages, but it really is bad. I can hardly read what he writes most of the time. i've no idea how his teacher deciphers it.

Anyway, he had some writing homework to do over the summer, and my DM was here for a while, so she helped him with it. She sat him down and they really gelled together and she managed to get him to do the best writing I have ever seen him do. She was really quite strict with him but he listened and really concentrated. She said things like, 'No, that's not good enough. Rub it out and start again'. I must admit I was smiling to myself as she was way harsher than I would ever be.

Anyway, the question is, should I get a tutor to come and help him, just like DM did? He progressed better in two hours with her than in the whole of year 1. Do they actually teach handwriting any more in school? Or should I just lighten up and not worry about it? Will it just get better with time? I've no idea what's normal really but his report last year said his writing was the lower end of average.

Sorry, quite long!

OP posts:

MrsWinnibago · 04/09/2014 17:33

YABU. He's what? 6?

Leave him alone to play and learn in a normal and child-like way.

amyhamster · 04/09/2014 17:39

in my school they take groups out to do extra handwriting practice, could you ask if they do similar there? I'd make an appointment to talk to the teacher first and see what help they can give him

SofiaAmes · 04/09/2014 17:42

Just get him on a computer so he can learn how to touch type. The bbc has a fantastic application on their website for kids. My ds has dysgraphia and not only terrible handwriting, but writing was an exhausting, laborious process for him. I had him typing all his assignments by 2nd Grade. You use a completely different part of the brain for typing than for writing, so it's very possible to be terrible at one and great at the other.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 04/09/2014 17:43

My DD's school gave her extra handwriting lessons in year 2 and 3. I found her poor handwriting has really held back her literacy so I would say any help is very useful as long he enjoys it. DD's handwriting finally improved towards the end of year 3 but she is still very slow and it is holding her back.

Jollyphonics · 04/09/2014 17:44

DS1 is 9 and his writing is pretty awful. But I remember being stunned at parents evening when I saw his handwriting book - row after row of beautiful neat handwriting - clearly he can do it, he just doesn't like to and can't really be bothered. I just think it's the way some kids are, especially boys. I don't worry too much as I know he can do it if he really needs to, and to be honest his generation will be typing most of their work anyway. I rarely write these days, everything is computerised, I only really write greetings cards and shopping lists!

ArabellaTarantella · 04/09/2014 17:46

Just get him on a computer so he can learn how to touch type

How will that improve his handwriting?

jellyhead · 04/09/2014 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 18:01

Go for it. Not enough time in school is spent on handwriting.

Stuffofawesome · 04/09/2014 18:03

You could get write from the start books and work through them

OldBeanbagz · 04/09/2014 18:06

Have you looked at any workbooks. I got one for my DD and it worked for her.

It's a lot cheaper than a tutor too!

whois · 04/09/2014 18:07

Even in this computer age handwriting is a much needed skill. Exams, note taking in meetings etc

Worth putting the time in now.

Original poster

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 18:09

Thanks for all the advice. I do think his handwriting will end up holding him back as he hates doing it, but has some brilliant ideas and writes great stories in his head. He just can't get them down on paper. I'll look into the write from the start books and see how this year progresses. I'll also have a word at parent's evening. I won't panic yet though.

OP posts:

Idontseeanysontarans · 04/09/2014 18:14

My boy is left handed and wrote like a spider running through a blob of ink and across the page, truly awful!
His school put a lot of work into handwriting skills once they got to year 3 and could begin to progress to a pen (a big deal is made out of it).
What also helped is that the teachers would make sure he sat in the correct and comfortable side of other children so they didn't bump elbows and he could turn the paper as he needed to.
His writing is pretty good now at 13, spelling goes to hell occasionally but he's all round improved thanks to the work that the teachers put in.
I would keep an eye on how they do at school with him for a while longer.

CromerSutra · 04/09/2014 18:16

We do handwriting every morning in my class (year 2) and make a big effort to monitor and praise the children's progress. We used to have quite poor handwriting throughout the school and now that it is prioritised guess what? The handwriting is very good. Flag it up with his teacher and see if she can give him a few mins each day to focus on it. I'm not sure I'd go as far as a tutor, maybe try some work books like the Rigby ones and see how that goes.

morethanpotatoprints · 04/09/2014 18:19

My dd hates writing unless she has a purpose to, so its mostly journal or diary, she is 10 and her handwriting could do with improvement.
Your ds will do it fine when he is good and ready.
You may get pressure from school and teachers regarding levels etc, but if you can rise above all the "he should be doing this" stuff he will be fine.

noblegiraffe · 04/09/2014 18:29

Please don't assume it will be fine and that he will improve eventually. I'm a secondary school teacher and have had some kids come to me in sixth form with no SEN with such bad handwriting that I've been concerned it would lose them marks in their exams due to pure illegibility.

davidjrmum · 04/09/2014 18:43

Our ds didn't like writing at all in Reception and Yr 1 but then improved considerably in Yr 2. He's never particularly been one for drawing or colouring - would rather play with his lego! It was an effort to even get him to write his name on a birthday card as he didn't want to do it. Our dd1 and dd2 loved drawing/colouring from being toddlers so I'm sure that helped their pencil control. Have you asked the school what they think? Are they doing anything to help. Although his handwriting wasn't great in Yr 1 we could see from his books that there had been a bit of an improvement from the start of the year to the end. I'd have been worried if there was no improvement at all.

GoblinLittleOwl · 04/09/2014 19:19

They should be teaching handwriting in Y2.
Why can you not be as firm with him as your mother: too much trouble? If he is capable of doing it for her, he is capable of doing it for you. Make him.

Original poster

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 19:23

Thanks david. Your DS sounds just like mine. He hates colouring and yes, I have to persuade him to write his name in cards.

goblin no it's not too much trouble. If I try to be firm and encourage him to write stuff, he throws a strop and has been known to shut himself in his room. It's not pleasant and not something I like to see. I certainly didn't want to ruin large chunks of the summer holiday by putting us all through that. With my mum, he just sat and listened. I think it's basically because she wasn't me iyswim. I could 'make him' but the fall out would be incredible.

OP posts:

Mrsmorton · 04/09/2014 19:35

I agree you need to do something about it, not just let him "play" his way to writing legibly, not even sure how that would work.

I distinctly remember being told if I didn't improve my handwriting, I would be entered for my a level exams. Now it's beautiful [preens] and people come to ask me to write cards, place names etc.

I'm teaching my boyfriend's daughter and will quite happily rub her work out for her if she's being idle. If her mum or dad try that though, there are tears and tantrums so totally with you OP.

not in London are you hope you find someone.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 04/09/2014 20:03

My DS is 18 and has appalling handwriting. He can write legibly if he cares to but usually doesn't. He learned to type early and used that as much as possible. I don't know how his teachers and examiners can read his scrawl but they always did. He is now at a good uni, it has not held him back.

SofiaAmes · 04/09/2014 20:04

Arabella when he is older and developmentally more able to control his handwriting he can work on it then if it still seems necessary. It seems such an archaic thing to torture a child over in this day and age. My ds is now 13 and rarely needs handwriting skills but always needs the computer and keyboarding skills that he learned at 6. As an adult, I find that I almost never need to handwrite something.

CocktailQueen · 04/09/2014 20:08

Same here! I bought some handwriting practice books from ebay and got DS to work his way through them, ten mins per day, small reward at the end of each session. It is important - if you can't read their writing they could be writing War and Peace and you won't understand it! So it's important for literacy that you can read writing.

awfulomission · 04/09/2014 20:14

As long as there are no other issues with fine motor skills I'd leave it. Iirc there's a fair old bit of handwriting in y2. If there are other problems and you are concerned get a referral via the gp to see an ot.

LarrytheCucumber · 04/09/2014 20:31

He will need handwriting to fill in some forms as an adult. My DS is 19 and his handwriting looks like that of a Year 1 child. Until recently I have had to fill in forms for him because otherwise they are almost illegible.
Yes, he can use a computer for a lot of things, but handwriting is still required for some things.

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