to ask you all to advise me on how to approach dds teacher with this sensitive subject...

[donefornow]

I have had problems withh dd stimulating herself by rocking back and forth on a chair for what seems like forever.
Dds nursery teacher approached me and we decided a sit still approach was most age appropriate.
She's 5 now very intelligent and understands its private but still carries on.
Never at home but always at school.
I have exhausted all my options alone and feel I need some help with it all. She moved school last year and have never discussed it with her teacher for fear of making it more of an issue for the teacher. She seems nice but is very young and probably not been teaching that long.
Do I take dd to the doctors? School nurse? Or just go in and have a word with the teacher? I'm at a loss, this isn't my first post on the issue but need some support.
I lost it with dd tonight, her bum was red raw from all the 'rocking'.
Please help

Just in case this is of interest. The skin picking - perhaps a bit less common - could also be relevant.
life-with-aspergers.blogspot.co.uk/2007/10/what-is-stimming-and-what-does-it-feel.html

Son has the cushion at school. It really helps. Perhaps talk to SENCo?

Forgot to say, I agree with the other ladies that it's very normal! I only mentioned trousers as you said she'd got sore from doing it, so they may give another protective barrier, so to speak.

Dd used to do this, she is Autistic and I came to the conclusion she was very sensitive 'down there' (( confirmed when she casually announced she was 'waiting for the good bit'.

I found spotting triggers reduced it a lot, ie boredom or certain seats (( barstools and the like)) but tbh she'll only stop when it suits her, dd is 15 now and still does it on rare occasions, becoming more socially aware has been the main help.

About 6 I think...

Sure marianne. I have a stimmer, too (not the same child). It isn't the first conclusion you should jump to, though, just something to be aware of in the background.

I know skin-Pickers who are just skin-pickers and have ultimately been persuaded to stop too.

Sometimes a duck is just a duck.

Get thee to the school and chat to the teacher. It's actually less embarassing in person, as you don't have to sit and think about how to phrase it - you can just blunder right in with 'dd was really sore yesterday - we were working with the nursery on not letting her rock and stimulate herself, as it's been something of a habit. Don't you love 5year olds and lack of personal boundaries? Anyway, we're really trying to break the habit in public places - could I ask you to be really vigilant and distract her as soon as you notice her doing it? I'm fine if you remind her - this is what I say at home 'dd, no rocking in the living room, that's private' or whatever.

If you are very matter of fact, they will be as well.

Good luck ;-)

Go in and see the teacher and say exactly what you said in your post; she will undoubtedly have noticed it, and it is more common than you think. Generally, a simple 'sit still' or 'don't rock now' (frequently) is all it requires.
As for why she does it, I don't know; simply because it is pleasurable?
Contact the school nurse or doctor for advice and try not to make a big issue of it; it passes.

Dd used to claim the physio had told her to do it as part of her exercises. By which I assume that's how she discovered the sensation and connected it with her exercises, so we had 'I'm doing my exercises'.

Um. Can you do them in your bedroom?

I can't see why she needs a psychologist. This is normal and quite common, I've come accross a few girls that do this in school in my time. I would let her teacher know. Then she's aware that you're already dealing with it and she can reiterate what you are saying to DD.
The girls I've taught who do it eventually gave it up for good at about.
My experience of it is that it actually was very distracting for the child and led to her zoning out and getting quite red in the face! The other kids paid it no notice at all.

It's completely normal. She does it because it feels very nice and she currently has no reason to think it isn't the correct thing to do in certain situations. Teachers see this (and more) all the time. Don't worry.

It's completely normal. She does it because it feels very nice and she currently has no reason to think it isn't the correct thing to do in certain situations. Teachers see this (and more) all the time. Don't worry.

^^This. Please don't worry. Go and see the teacher if you feel you need to, but I'd honestly just let them get on with it.

Thanks everyone for your replies

Im sure its not that unusual would it be easier to send a note in teacher about it they can do the same as nursery and she has to sit still. Im sure its just a learned thing maybe she does it swhen she is anxious and it helps her calm down

I work with small children and some of the girls do similar and the boys just wont leave it alone

Yeah, I think it's a very unspoken subject with girls if it were ds fiddling I'd probably be less anxious about it all if I'm completely honest (I know that's terrible)

I think with boys its a bit easier to say leave it alone as they have something to fiddle with iyswim. If you think she is an anxious child by all means speak to the teacher about it.

Not terrible - just the way we are all brought up. Boys are supposed to fiddle, girls are supposed to be purer than the driven snow and enjoy reading.

It's all horse, obviously, but it doesn't mean we haven't all been brought up to believe there's something wrong about girls doing it, and something perfectly normal about boys doing it.