MiL looks after ds once a week, usually in our house but for the next few weeks will be in her house for various practical reasons. He has just turned 1 and moves around a lot in his sleep. I asked her where she intended to put him down to nap (and would she like the travel cot) and she dismissed the idea saying that she often had one of her three sons to nap/sleep in a (grown-up) bed, and one of them fell out once but was ok (!). I raised my eyebrows at this point and said I would not be happy with him being left unattended in case he fell out while asleep and she said that she'd either sit with him or put him in the pram instead. All fine.
Later on speaking to my husband (her eldest of 3 sons) he said that to his knowledge none of them had ever had a cot. And that they all slept in an adult bed (no bed guards or anything) from the time they grew out of carry cot/pram! This was late 70s/early 80s if it makes a difference. I was absolutely horrified that she thought this was ok. I know they struggled financially when the kids were small but so did my parents and they got a hand-me-down cot from somewhere for free. I am also now worried that if she thinks this is ok, what else does she think is ok?
My husband thinks I'm overreacting and that plenty of children don't sleep in cots (true but if you didn't have a cot you would put them somewhere safe on the floor wouldn't you?), sleeping in a bed doesn't mean that they're not safe. I disagree entirely AIBU? Were attitudes really that different 30 years ago? Am I being PFB?
BTW I am relatively relaxed about co-sleeping so this is not a debate about that. I have often slept with my son in the bed, before he got too wriggly. But never left him unattended once he started rolling around and before he moved I would still check on him every 5 minutes. I think when baby is in bed with you you're always slightly aware of what he's doing in your sleep, unless you're completely exhausted in which case I don't think that's safe either.