To think a disabled adult shouldnt be left in bed til 10am because the council cant be arsed to find someone to do their care

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

Ffs. Really good start to the day, me crying in bed while the kids slowly dismantle their bedroom. I usually need a bit of a hand to get up, but today my back completely seized, my wrists are too bad too pull myself up and i was stuck. DH got in off nights at 10 am, helped me get up, carried me downstairs and did us all breakfast before going to bed.

The council have agreed care, but because of Dhs shift pattern, cant find anyone to do it. So they gave me direct payments, but i cant find anyone either. Had three people, (a friend, my sister and my bil) who all now have full time jobs and are unavailable. So now, this week, i've had a letter from them saying "as you NO LONGER WANT ASSISTANCE we are going to take you off our list".

I am sick of this. Why is everythign so fucking hard :(

I've been told by my sw that the council will not pay for hours while dh is home, he has to do it. Thats a whole other angry subject

He does four on four off, so this is where the problem is apparently coming from, that people cant fit it around their other calls easily. Though of course its not impossible, i'm just being told it is.

New plan atm is to tell them hes working mon-fri and try it that way. My family are around on weekends anyway

Mrsjayy, i havent got any fight in me tbh. It just gets me down how shit it is, when i know i need to be

Oh sounds hard and bloody frustrating I would bugger ss and go private you are getting direct payments anyway I probably should have had a bit of help when mine were little but didnt just soldiered on like a martyr

Is there no aid that can help you get out of bed? If it is purely a hand up, then there are adjustable beds, there are hoists, there are things you can suspend from the ceilings, etc

I have a medical bed due to my disabilities. It allows me to raise and lower the bed, raise the top to a full sitting up, lower it for sleeping, raise and lower the feet etc. I had an OT and physio assessment and then it was provided to me. I also have an adapted wet room, with seat, adapted vehicle etc etc.

Food prep is another issue, if you can't prepare anything on a particular day, you can ensure you have things that you can direct your children to, but the dangerous part is if you physically cannot get out of bed. That needs to change so that it never happens. This may mean looking at various aids to remove the need for a person to help you out of bed.

Been waiting nearly a year for my ot assessment, apparently the one ot in the city was on maternity leave so now has a lot of catching up to do...

Will look into a raising bed, i do usually need a hand but this is the second time my back has frozen completely so clearly i have to be prepared for it now. :(

There are loads of aids and things i need, cant afford to buy them all so waiting for the ot and getting things as and when i can.

I am so sorry to hear your Council are being so awkward .

Here, you would be entitled to care whether your DH was home or not. Some (many) people would find it embarrassing to ask a family member to help with personal care. Yes, of course, he can take care of the children giving you more time to get yourself up & about in the morning but that doesn't really affect your personal needs.

That said, we do also have clients who only have calls on certain days of the week.

It is possible. I am really sorry/sad that your SW is not trying harder to find someone for you!

DH has sent the Sw a rather blunt email this morning. So fingers crossed we'll get some action. :)

Good luck, I sent my social worker a blunt email on Monday. Still waiting for a reply :hmm:

If the problem if your husband's hours I would fight that like crazy. Surely he should be sleeping when not on shifts anyway? I would point out is dangerous for him to have no opportunity to sleep because he has to provide your care and that you will hold them responsible for any tiredness related accident he has, or any accident you have while trying to do things yourself to avoid waking him.

Go to your councillor/MP as well. Or put in a stage 1 complaint. SS everywhere are trying to make cuts & people are suffering because of it.

Beyond, find out which agency SS tried and call them yourself. Years ago I was told that the only agencies (I think there were two) social services could get to come to the small village I lived in then couldn't cover my needs and I'd have to have a DP and either employ people or go to an agency as a private client. I ended up using exactly the same agency SS had been turned down by as a private client because some rule meant they had space for me as a private client but not as an SS client.
But it also meant when they were really shit about times etc they couldn't fob me off with "but your SW said it was OK" because they didn't have contact with her about me.
Hope things get sorted.