Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this misses the point about costs of childcare?

999 replies

adsy · 03/09/2014 07:41

"Critics have complained that homes where one parent stays at home to look after children will not benefit."

This is in response to the new scheme where parents will get 20% of childcare costs paid for by the government.
I'm a CM and all for subsidies of any sort to help out parents, but other than the odd day when you might need to go for an interview etc. I can't see why a stay at home parent needs to get childcare subsidies or am I missing a major point here?!

OP posts:
sashh · 04/09/2014 15:22

I pay into a private pension but my DH doesn't so he's in trouble, and mine no doubt will be a pittance

Why doesn't he pay in to one then? It's fairly daft not to when it is about the only tax break SAHP get.

BeyondRepair · 04/09/2014 15:26

out of my circle we have a mixture of backgrounds and reasons to work or not work, the most working mums are those that admit they dont need to work but they want too because they dont want to be at home with small children, day in and day out for years

Those are my words, mix of backgrounds and needing to work, single mums, mums in un stable relationships with dc father, and so on.

the catagory within that i was specifically referring to are those mums who want to work because they want too not need too. I love, sorry to hear of your dh illness but your not in the don't need to work catagory are you.

i am only saying mums jassey as usually its mums who stay at home, but sure dads too!

Ilovenicesoap · 04/09/2014 15:38

Beyond
Thanks
Sorry I should have made it clearer -i wouldnt tell you about DH as it tends to be a conversation stopper Grin
So i would tell you its for my MH or I love it etc and you might look at me and judge me as not needing to.
Needing to work takes many different forms -its not only financial and those reasons,are as valid as any other.

JassyRadlett · 04/09/2014 15:39

Well, that's part of the issue isn't it? That it's seen as something for women only, which is bollocks and perpetuates outdated ideas.

lornemalvo · 04/09/2014 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 15:58

Little - no, I don't want people to be paid to look after their children generally - that's not what I said.

What I would like to see is for working parents who have been forced to leave their jobs to become SAHPs (because of disproportionate child care costs) get some kind of financial recompense for this.

I don't know in what form - I haven't thought it through that far!

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 16:11

What I would like to see is for working parents who have been forced to leave their jobs to become SAHPs (because of disproportionate child care costs) get some kind of financial recompense for this.

This sounds very much like people getting paid to look after their kids. Plenty of working parents are insimilar positions and they should get more money to support with childcare. I would agree with you only and only if as a result of the financial assistance with childcare or recompense the SAHP would be heading back into work, studying, or going for interviews. I still don't think SAHP should get any assistance with childcare or recompense unless there are exceptional circumstances.

Nothing will change my view on this, hence the reason I haven't commented further on the thread because Iwould keep reiterating it.

DaisyFlowerChain · 04/09/2014 16:27

"What I would like to see is for working parents who have been forced to leave their jobs to become SAHPs (because of disproportionate child care costs) get some kind of financial recompense for this"

If you choose to have a child and then not work as you don't want to pay childcare the state should give you financial recompense? Why? What does the state gain in return? Supporting with childcare has many benefits which is why it makes sense.

SeagullsAndSand · 04/09/2014 16:39

And I don't feel other parents should get help with childcare.It doesn't encourage forward planning or responsibility.

I won't be changing my mind either.

Exactly why should the state fund a parent's childcare simply because they've chosen to outsource?There are two types of childcare- one managed by a sahp with the financial loss that involves and the other by an outside source with the financial outlay that involves.Neither trumps the other.Sorry.Both are valid choices made in the interests for the children involved.

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 16:41

But I'm not talking about choosing am I? I'm talking about not having a choice. I doubt anyone would choose to stay at work, pay all of their salary on child care costs whilst working shifts and never seeing their children. That would be mental wouldn't it?

Our circumstances mean that my dp won't get any help - no benefits because he left work and his 'income' is based on last years earnings (which we didn't save because we didn't know we were going to have a baby as he's a menopause miracle Grin).

Isitmylibrarybook · 04/09/2014 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 16:45

And I don't feel other parents should get help with childcare.It doesn't encourage forward planning or responsibility.

As I said further up the thread. The reason DH and I waited till I was 37 and he was 42 to have DD was to ensure we were financially stable enough so no one including the government would need to provide us with assistance with childcare. I currently have childcare which we are pay for and if I decide to go back to work we will be paying for childcare. If I decide to be a SAHP, we will be paying for childcare.

But I do think the WOH paying bak into the system should get help because they aren't at home looking after their DC like SAHP.

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 16:48

But we've paid into the system for years too.

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 16:49

But the WOH have historically and continue to pay into the system.

SeagullsAndSand · 04/09/2014 16:50

But many don't pay back into the system- the maj in fact.Don't you have to earn something like 60k to put in more than you take?Sure I read that on another thread,perhaps somebody good with figures can be more specific.

Frankly for many kids a sahp will be more beneficial than cheap childcare and saves the taxpayer in help with childcare.

SeagullsAndSand · 04/09/2014 16:52

And yes I paid shed loads into the system before,during and will after dc needing care.

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 16:53

If you choose to stay at home then you know that you are sacrificing financially. If you choose to go back into work then you know you are sacrificing time with your DC however you are helping the economy even if that's just a small contribution its still a contribution.

DaisyFlowerChain · 04/09/2014 16:54

Of course it's a choice, it's a parents choice to have a child. A quick google shows the costs of childcare in minutes so it's not like it should come as a shock once the child is born. If your salary means working for nothing or at a loss you decide if you want to do it for the future promotions/pension/still having a job once children start school or you quit or people hold off and save more before committing to the expense of a child.

I don't think the state should pay any benefits for a child, it should be down to the parents to pay for it's needs. If they do need to support an area though then childcare is the best one. The parents pay tax and once the early years childcare is not needed the parents still have a job to contribute back into the pot. Children grow up with a good work ethic and see that it's part of life so it has added advantages.

SeagullsAndSand · 04/09/2014 16:54

How are you helping the economy if you pay zero tax(or very little and not enough to cover what you take),get TC and help with childcare?

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 16:56

So have we (and I continue to do so). So using that argument, you shouldn't be able to access NHS services unless you've been employed?

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 16:58

Sea cash flow! But, I won't get into that. My point again... SAHP should not get childcare assistance unless there are exceptional circumstances. I think I have been pretty clear on that point and as expected we are now going round and round in circles. Grin

SeagullsAndSand · 04/09/2014 17:00

Bollocks to the work ethic.

I had a sahp- we got degrees and good careers.My dp works all hours.He had a sahm and he did his Alevels in a year at night school whilst working,went onto get 2 degrees and has worked his arse off ever since.My dc work bloody hard,one has to be told to give himself a break.One can be lazy but it is improving because of our work ethic.The time I've had as a sahp I've done all sorts of things including volunteering,studying,book groups,working bloody hard in the home,running round supporting all 4 of them working their backsides off.

This sahp setting a bad example is just utter Tory tosh.

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 17:02

Daisy well good for you!

BTW - I have a DD and went back to work after 3 months after having her (as I have this time) as I agree about work ethic etc.

Curlyweasel · 04/09/2014 17:04

It's just that it's not always feasible to return to work and if it's made impossible then I feel there should be some recompense.

Little - can you just explain what the exceptional circumstances are/would be?

LittlePeaPod · 04/09/2014 17:05

RTT, I have mentioned it already..