to be pissed off with him

[girlwithgreeneyes11]

So dhs father is in hospital at the moment. He was due to be discharged on Monday and dh was going to be spending all day today with him. All good. So I decided to arrange visit family as its the last day of the holidays although fortunately hadn't told them.
So last night it transpired that dfil wasn't going to be discharged so dh wanted us to go out for the day together. I agreed to this of course.
Anyway this morning I got up as usual with our toddler despite not feeling 100%. (Ibs flare up).dh comes down some 2 hours later complaining of being full of cold.
So day out now off but he was well enough to visit fil in hospital (fair enough) and pop out to do some shopping.
Aibu to be pissed off.

If you're having a bout of ibs would you have wanted to go out for the day anyway?

Are you annoyed that he went shopping? I'm not sure it was a good idea for him to go to the hospital full of cold.

Yes I'd be annoyed. It was rude of him to make plans and then cancel them while still sticking to everything else. It's ultra annoying that you cancelled plans in order to spend that time with him - and ultra annoying that you can't blame him for that part because he didn't know about it.

Fortunately I was fine by about 10am. I think the cancelling plans was annoying but also because he was too ill to do anything for most of the morning but by pm was well enough to visit a poorly relative.

Am I missing something? You're annoyed that he made the effort to visit his father in hospital despite feeling ill himself? Hokay.

I don't get why you didn't just go & see your family when he said he was ill
Tbh he's probably run down & worried about his dad :(

It was too late to go by the time he said he didn't want to go out as he wasn't well. No problem with him visiting ill relative but can't help feeling he can't have been that ill if he thought it wise to visit ill parent in hospital. Ie felt like having Bit of a lazy morning leaving me to pick up slack. Than realising I had inviting ds, s friend over earlier than planned thought he would stay out of way originally has said not going to hospital.. Oops sorry that was abit of a dripfeed.

The thing is though I cancelled my plans as he wanted to spend time with us on last day of his and school holidays. He than came downstairs at nearly 10am saying o I don't feel well and I am not going to go out anywhere. (Including hospital) Proceeded to collapse on sofa whilst I did all the childcare etc.
We had already arrange for ds1 to have a friend round for tea so I thought I might as well invite them round sooner.
Sortly after tnis he decides to go shopping and visit his dad after all. Not at all sensible when he is currently recovering from an op if he really was so full of cold.

YABU

He obviously wanted to see his dad and was/is very worried that he was detained in the ward for longer than expected.

But you think he was slacking.

For crying out loud, it's not like he went on the piss with his mates, he visited his sick dad in hospital! That trumps anything that you have said.

I had said I was happy for him to visit originally. I just thought it weird that he was so ill this morning that he had to lie in and veg on the sofa all morning whilst I dealt with 3dc.
However, he wasn't too ill to bring his germs onto a hospital ward.
Incidentally the one time I really needed him due to having a colonoscopy he didn't step up so I guess there is a back story.
Also not slacking whilst at hospital but was in the morning. Although I guess I did say he changed his mind when he realised we would have an extra child in the house. Maybe that was unfair.