Not to want to follow FIL's exact itinery?

[Sweetasstevia]

We are visiting FIL for a short break - he lives abroad but stays with us when he visits UK 3 or 4 times a year. For the last 4 days of our 6 day stay we have gone with the flow letting FIL decide what we do for the day even though it hasn't always been very child friendly (smartish restaurants / long car drives etc). Today FIL has asked what we want to do but in a very loaded way suggesting we go sight seeing together in local town. My boys haven't been sleeping very well (probably as they are not getting a lot of exercise) so I suggested we go to the beach instead. I've been met with a very passive aggressive - 'well you can do what you want, doesnt bother me - go without me if you want'. I'm pissed off and feel that he's being silly and inflexible - DH thinks we should do what FIL wants as he loves doing the guided tour thing and we are going tomorrow. Am I unreasonable to stick to my guns. FIL is currently sulking in the kitchen :(

Ugh I hate that, why did he ask if he's going to sulk? You go to the beach, don't bow to his pettiness!

Is it not your boys holiday too?

Is there any way you can fit in both? Couple of hours on the beach then into town?

Maybe the kids could do with a long walk in the fresh air...might help them sleep? I'd much prefer that than being on the beach

YANBU

A bit of give and take is needed on these sort of holidays but it is your holiday too and a down day on the beach sounds ideal. So let him sulk.

Did he think you meant you were going to the beach without him?

Yanbu, but your problem is your DH not your fiL. Can your DH not see that it's a holiday for your family too and want to do stuff that your boys might enjoy? He wants to please his df rather than do what's better for his kids.

I did actually offer to do both beach and town when we started the conversation but now he's being such a pollock I'm thinking sod him. I also didn't mean for us to go without him but that's also now looking very tempting - I can't see him rock pooling and jumping in the surf tbh.

Go to the beach! Sod him - your boys will love it.

Why don't you and DSs go to the beach and leave your DH to have some quality time alone with FIL

That's a good idea ;) Magoria

I agree with Magoria suggestion, but I would making it crystal clear to DH that as much as he likes doing sightseeing tour your children don't and they are entitled to do child friendly things like rock pooling, and as their parent you expect him to do things with them as well as his dad.

magoria
Why don't you and DSs go to the beach and leave your DH to have some quality time alone with FIL

This is a fab Idea. Go for it

YANBU. If you have an opportunity to go to a beach, take it!

We had guests for 2 weeks over the summer (DH's young relatives), and I was prepared to show them around for the first couple of days so thry got the hang of London Transport, but the DC weresuffering from being dragged around, so I started leaving them more to their own devices after that, and the relatives pitched in, so the DC and I could go swimming, to the park, etc. Holidays certaimly do belong to children as well, so parting ways can keep evrryone happy unless they're bossyboots like your FIL

Capitulating to sulkers is rarely a good idea and it's a bit pathetic for him to still to behave like that. If you think the kids would prefer the beach then go there.