AIBU to feel bf is ruining my life?

[bellarations]

I'm so tired, emotional and irritable.
"My" HV can't help because "she's not in today!".
My ds is 18 months old, I've tried and failed to stop feeding him to sleep for 6 months. He screams the house awake, I have other dc who need to sleep.
I'm lightheaded from exhaustion today, please share your success for giving up. He never feeds during the day it's obvious he feeds for comfort and won't go back to sleep, I've been giving in out of tiredness.

Sorry your having a tough time with this, it will pass, you've done a brilliant thing feeding him to 18mo. I think this is just one of those things you need to resolve to do and then stick to the more attempts you have where in the end you relent and feed the harder the process will be as DS will be confused and will have learnt that eventually screaming leads to a breast feed. I think it's probably a case of short term stress but with payoffs in the long run. Do you have a partner who could do the bedtime routine for a week or so, that helped me stop night time feeds?

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I stopped bf at 18 months. In my case I had to lie down with him and pat his back and tell him a story about something he was really interested in. I just made it up as I went along. In his case he was really interested in cars so I just talked to him about cars that were going down the road. This would eventually sooth him to sleep.

I hope you find something that works for you.

Can you at all go away for a few days? It's the only way it worked with my DS, leaving him with my partner so it was tough. Alternatively can you wait till he's a little older and you can explain to him?

Is it at night or bedtime?

If bedtime, change the routine a bit. Maybe a glass of cows milk before pjs teeth etc. Then don't sit where you normally do for a bf.

If at night, try upping milk intake in the day for a couple of weeks then at night only offer water. I used to offer water then pace the floor holding DS upright, so not at all in a feeding position.

DS was 13 months and for the first few nights drank water at every waking, but within a week he no longer drank and could be soothed in other ways (walking or just a hug). Unfortunately for us, night weaning didnt reduce his night wakings

Do you have a partner who can take on most bedtime duties?

The only way we weaned at night was to totally change the bedtime routine so that DH did everything for about two weeks (no association with me and bedtime) and then to gradually reintroduce me (sat up, fully dressed etc) with no link to BFing.

You have my sympathies btw. No one tells you how hard it is to stop!!

Is it feeding him to go to sleep or during the night?

I stopped feeding my DS at 18 months and his bedtime feed was the last to go.
DH had to put him down for the first few nights. DH was able to rock and sing him to sleep - I am just not physically strong enough to do this.
After this DH was working away so it was back to me, it took a long time to get DS to sleep but we did it. I cuddled him, stroked his face/hair, read to him, sang to him, always had milk in a cup to offer. Wear a top that limits access.
It is really hard, and I did feel sad actually when I fed him for the last time. But I was ready to stop and I needed to know that there were other ways for him to fall asleep. It can be done, you aren't the only mum who has had this problem.