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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get annoyed when husband leaves keys in the door?

31 replies

NameChange30 · 01/09/2014 18:27

My husband works from home and when I go out to work, he locks the door behind me. Fine, but he often leaves the keys in the door so when I get home, I can't let myself in. It drives me crazy. But HE gets annoyed that I'm annoyed. Instead of saying sorry he just goes off in a sulk. He's doing it now. He thinks I'm overreacting. But I think it's inconsiderate to lock me out of my own house. When I get home after a stressful day at work, I just want to get inside! Especially if I've cycled home in the rain, as I did today. Am I being unreasonable?!!

OP posts:
ArsenicyOldFace · 01/09/2014 18:29

YANBU

Can you do it to him on the weekend? As experiential learning?

hamptoncourt · 01/09/2014 18:30

Does the door not stay shut without him locking it from inside? Would someone be able to just push your front door open if he wasn't locking it?

Mine locks when pulled to so I am a bit confused.

Anyway he is BU to keep leaving the keys in the door if it means you cannot get in.

Bulbasaur · 01/09/2014 18:35

You guys need American doors that have a twist lock on the inside. :) Never have this problem again. I'm sure you can get them for a decent price at amazon and get them installed. Less of a fire hazard too, because you can easily get out even if you lose the key.

Original poster
NameChange30 · 01/09/2014 18:35

In our old flat, the front door had a latch so it locked when you closed it. But there was also a deadlock which he used to lock and leave the keys in.

We have just moved to a new house and the front door doesn't have a latch, so you have to lock it closed. We only moved in on Friday and today was my first day coming home from work to our new house. I can't BELIEVE he has done it again. Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion, but if he just apologised it wouldn't be so annoying. Instead he is sulking. In the past he's said it's not his fault because he didn't do it on purpose. I think it's thoughtless and inconsiderate.

MEN!

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 01/09/2014 18:45

Mine does the same. Drives me mental. So I started doing it to him. He still does it every now and then.

Vitalstatistix · 01/09/2014 18:48

what about locking the door yourself instead of him locking it behind you? Then he's no need to lock the door himself and the keys won't be in it.
Unless he pops out, of course, does he?

LizzieMint · 01/09/2014 18:55

Hmm I'm not sure about this. If I'm home on my own, I often lock the door too, and always always leave the keys in the door so they are quickly accessible in the event of a fire. So i think what hes doing is perfectly reasonable. If when my h comes home, the door is locked,he just rings the bell and I open it, no big deal on either side. What do you want him to do, not lock the door or lock it but not leave the keys in? If its the first, could people get in without him noticing during the day? If its the second, I'd say no to that too, I'm slightly paranoid about leaving keys in the door for fire safety reasons.

Original poster
NameChange30 · 01/09/2014 19:47

LizzieMint, surely he can lock the door and leave the keys right next to the door?

I think it would be fine to leave the door unlocked (we live on a very quiet residential street) but if he feels more comfortable locking it, that's fine with me - as long as he doesn't leave the keys in the door!

Being locked out of your own house is not a nice feeling. Especially if it's a new house!

Maybe I should try doing it to him... But then he would accuse me of being a hypocrite and worse than him because I'm doing it on purpose (whereas he doesn't)

Funny when you live with someone, even the small things get so annoying when they keep happening!

OP posts:
MrsHathaway · 01/09/2014 19:53

Fire safety - don't do it.

If you have any glazing in the door, it's a security issue too. Lots of cars get stolen by people smashing the glass, grabbing the key ring with car key on, and driving away. Uninsured if that happens.

You can put a hook above the door to keep his keys on, if you're tall enough. Otherwise nearby but out of sight. We keep some keys on hooks behind canvases - invisible but very quickly grabbed in an emergency.

ILovedYouYesterday · 01/09/2014 19:59

This would drive me demented, not just because of the inconvenience but the fact that you have asked him, many times, not to do it and he still does, despite it upsetting you.

Have you asked him, at a time when you are both calm, why he does it?

Could you screw a small hook into the door frame which he can hang his key on after locking the door? I am thinking that would mean he could open the door quickly if he needed to and wouldn't misplace his key, if that's his concern.

bouncinbean · 01/09/2014 20:08

Annoy the hell out of him by sending lots of texts to remind him to go and take the keys out of the door, until he starts actually doing it.

LizzieMint · 01/09/2014 20:21

He could (do you have something right next to the door?) but knowing that there is a valid reason for doing it, does that lessen the rage?
To be quite honest, if we were in the same situation, I'd change the locks for a Yale lock that locks automatically, problem solved. I don't think either of you are in the wrong.

Furball · 01/09/2014 20:28

If you can train him to pull the key out slightly from the lock - you will still be able to lock and unlock the door from the otherside Smile

cherrybombxo · 01/09/2014 20:31

Our springy lock fell off (yes, really. It's like living in Fawlty Towers) so we only have the manual lock and DP does sometimes leave his keys in the door so I can't get in. It's bloody annoying, especially when he's playing FIFA so loudly that the windows are rattling and can't hear me knocking...!

LurkingHusband · 01/09/2014 20:39

You can get locks for uPVC doors which need a key from the outside, but have a turnwheel on the inside, so no need to use keys to lock from the inside, and always accessible from the outside.

FWIW when we had our old (wooden) front door, with "old fashioned" Yale lock replaced with a uPVC door, I was astounded

  1. that the door NEEDED A KEY to lock it. No pull and lock, like the "old days"
  2. It was possible to leave a key on the inside, such that a key from the outside can't work.

It was this last which freaked me ... IMHO it's a safety disaster, as it's possible that in the event of an emergency, it wouldn't be possible for a key-holder to get in.

Apparently it's progress, and I have the wrong attitude.

Notsoyummymummy1 · 01/09/2014 20:54

You allow your husband to have keys???!

ArsenicyOldFace · 01/09/2014 21:00

You allow your husband to have keys???!

Grin
MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/09/2014 21:08

You just need a Yale lock. Spring loaded handle on the inside, key on the outside. When you go out you just pull the door shut behind you and it's locked from the outside whilst the handle just opens it from the inside. Perfectly safe in a fire as you don't even need to find your keys.

Kettricken · 01/09/2014 21:16

What furball said. We have got into the habit of pulling the key out slightly so it can still be unlocked from the outside. I don't like being in the house without knowing my door is locked else anyone could just walk in!

ICanSeeTheSun · 01/09/2014 21:17

Would a text saying you are on your way home help.

Tbh I open my door in the morning and leave it open all day until I go to bed ( lock it if I go out), I'm not answering the door every 5 minutes for the DC.

amicissimma · 01/09/2014 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PersonOfInterest · 01/09/2014 21:27

I do this to my dh all the time. I grovel apologies because I know I would find it REALLY annoying having to stand outside my own home, in the rain, in wet cycling gear after a hard day at work, waiting for someone to let me in. YANBU. Do it to him.

SpringBreaker · 01/09/2014 21:31

why cant you lock it yourself on your way out then he doesnt need to use his keys?

DoJo · 01/09/2014 22:15

Seeing as you have just moved in, presumably you either had just or are about to change the locks, in which case why not go for one doesn't need to be locked with a key?

Gymbob · 01/09/2014 22:27

My husband, forgets to lock the door at all sometimes. Once he actually went to work and left the front door open about 6 inches. You could see into the house. It had been like that for about 4 hours before I got home. My friend said we wouldn't have been burgled as it would have been obvious to a burglar there was someone at home!

He's a man, just accept it, it's easier.