DD1 is six and a few weeks before school ended for the summer holidays I noticed that she had a few scratches on her arm that she seemed to have picked at. I asked her how she'd done them and she said she'd hurt her arm on a school trip out and that she'd picked at the scabs. My dad expressed some concern as one of the foster children he cares for scratches at their self and it is a sign he is unhappy. He had a chat with DD1 and she seemed to mention that she was unhappy but wouldn't allude to why. I then had a chat with her and she said that all she wanted was for the scabs to go away as she didn't like them being there. I told her to try and not pick them because they may scar and to leave them be and they'd go away.
Not long after this she unfortunately got chicken pox. Again both DH & I had a chat with her about not picking the scabs and trying not to itch. After the spots started to scab up and heal, we noticed that she'd been picking at them. I had a chat with her again and she reiterated that she wanted the scabs to go away and said she'd stop picking at them. Both DH and I caught her picking at the scabs and asked her many times not to pick them. It now looks like she will be left with scars on her face and arms, where she has picked them.
Last week I saw some scratches on the inside of one of her arms near her wrist. I asked her how she got them and she shrugged and said she didn't know. I looked at them closer and they looked like nail marks. Again I asked her how she got them and she said she didn't know and started crying. Her behaviour over the past few months at home has got worse in the sense that she seems highly emotional, with mood swings and outbursts. She acts much more like a teenager than a six year old, but is very well behaved at school and other places. I don't know what to do and I'm starting to worry about her a lot. She repeatedly says she doesn't know how she got the scratches and I don't want to press her too much. Before school finished she appeared to be quite tired and a bit stressed. Week days are long for her, she's at breakfast club for 7.15am and I only get to pick her up at 6.05pm at the earliest but usually it's just before 6.15pm when after school club is closing, due to traffic on the way home from work. DH works Saturdays and so we only get to spend Sunday as a family and we're all so knackered from the week that sometimes we don't do a lot. Both DH and I are trying to change this situation but for the moment we aren't able to. We have two younger DC who are 3 and 1, who are at nursery from 8 til 6 Monday to Thursday. I just feel that we are failing them all in some way.
AIBU to not know how to approach this situation with DD1? I'm really out of my depth here and I feel really upset knowing that there must be something wrong and not knowing how to fix it.