birthday meal

[helenenemo]

I'm vegetarian. On most other birthdays we go to a local steakhouse and I have the one veggie option on the menu!!

It's my birthday next and I've chosen a lovely vegetarian/vegan place. Apparently I'm totally unreasonable and should change to somewhere with meat. I disagree so I'm turning it over to the lovely folk of MN!

Aibu?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I would assume you'd look at the menu first befire jumping to conclusions?

[ohmychrist]

Those who think you're unreasonable are probably the meat-and-two-veg types who don't have any appreciation of good quality, modern restaurants, let alone veggie food.

You'll be glad they decline the invitation in the long run...

[LatteLoverLovesLattes]

Try rtft Lady if you don't 'get' it. It has all been explained.

[Bunbaker]

I am, quite frankly, staggered at the YABU responses. These carnivores probably don't realise that the token vegetarian option at non veggie restaurants are usually just that and nothing special. Surely, if it is the OP's birthday she is entitled to eat something special on her birthday. Therefore she is more likely to get a much higher quality meal at a restaurant that specialises in vegetarian meals.

The birthday is about the OP not her guests.

[Sicaq]

Of course YANBU! I eat meat but have had some of my best dinners in vegetarian places; Indian restaurants especially. How unimaginative of your friends.

Can you send them the restaurant menu so they can see how diverse it is?

[MrsCosmopilite]

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Have found a reasonable variety at places like Wagamama and Giraffe, but as a one-off meal, I think people should be prepared to try something else.

I don't understand the problem with the options of meat-free meals.

Given that most times you go to a steakhouse with people and you don't eat meat, I think they should be a) more considerate and b) more understanding.

[PersonOfInterest]

YABU.

I eat lots of meat free meals - no problem at all.

But if I'm treating myself to a night out and paying to eat in a restaurant, I want to have something I really like and I'm afraid a vegan restaurant isn't going to do it for me.

Do what you want, but don't be pissed off or surprised if people don't come. Its your birthday, doesn't mean you get to dictate whats on everyones plate.

[Silverdaisy]

I would not be excited by a steak house meal either.

It's an adults birthday. Can people not decline?

Maybe people this month cannot afford a meal out, or just cannot be bothered.

[Bunbaker]

Sorry PersonOf Interest, but that I think that is a really narrow minded attitude.

[PersonOfInterest]

Which bit bunbaker?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

YANBU, but choose your restaurant carefully! If you go somewhere that serves something revolting like gluten schnitzel, it will reinforce the stereotype.

Could you not go somewhere like an Indian restaurant, where everyone would be happy?

[LadyLuck10]

Latte I do 'get it' you don't need to point anything out to me
My point is that when I'm asking people to spend money for my purpose, I would be very accommodating.
Fwiw I was vegetarian and still eat veg for most of the week.

[offtoseethewizard64]

Can't believe your friends/family always choose somewhere that only has one veggie option on the menu tbh OP. I have veggie friends and when choosing somewhere to go for a meal, I always check the menu out on the internet to check that they have more than one choice and it is not just veggie lasagne or veggie burger. If I am going out for a meal I want something different to what I might cook at home - and I expect my friends do too.

YANBU to choose somewhere that suits you for your birthday celebration. Your guests might actually enjoy the change.

[ChillySundays]

Rule in our family is whoever's birthday it is gets to choose the place. If the normal place is a steakhouse then meals out are happening fairly regularly so is it really going to kill people to go to a veggie restaurant for a change. I am huge meat fan but I would just accept the choice

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Of course people can decline.

But if they haven't even looked at the menu then they have no idea what it's like.

If there's really nothing they will like or they can't afford it then fair enough.

But if decision is based on lack of meat and they can't even make an effort even their friend eats rice filled green peppers every single time as that's all thats ever there and still goes along as they are her friend and she takes the hit every time for them then it takes the piss and they aren't friends if they can't go without meat for one meal

[MoonlightandRoses]

YANBU - also, if the group collectively goes to the same steakhouse most of the time when eating out then I bet they order the same dishes each time. So if anything, you're coming up with a suggestion that will offer far more variation (i.e. a restaurant none of them have been to before) than the steakhouse.

[Bunbaker]

I agree Giles

[PersonOfInterest]

Who is 'we' anyway? Friends, family, partner?

[BellaVita]

Yanbu.

I am not vegetarian but I would happily go where birthday person wanted to go to.

In fact we have a lovely veggie restaurant/cafe bar in town, the food looks amazing and I keep saying to DH that we should go.

[MollyMaDurga]

YANBU your party, your treat.

[helenenemo]

Phew, glad I'm not being! Feel like taking a tub of houmous and crudités next time we go out ;) (friends btw)

[MaryWestmacott]

friends or family?

I don't get the "you need there to be a variety of options" mentality, other than ensuring there's at least one meal on a menu everyone can eat (so if you go somewhere that serves meat and you're taking a vegetarian, there's at least one option for them, if you are going out with someone you know is allergic to chilli, there's at least one dish on a menu without it - hard in many Asian restaurants I've found since knowing someone with that allergy).

If the menu means there's food that everyone can eat, even if it might not be their prefered choice, then it's fine to go there and tell them they can just decline.

However, you need to not get stroppy if they do decline (while making a decision about if you are going to go to the steak house on their birthday based on their behaviour at yours)

[Bunbaker]

I must admit that it is beyond me why anyone would decline a meal out just because meat wasn't on the menu.

I am an omnivore BTW.

[Septbaby]

YADNBU!! I feel like smacking my head against the table when we eat out with friends or family and my 'choice' is risotto for the 500th time... Like pp have said you 'take the hit' as it were when going to places other people want to go, and can guarantee that 9/10 they don't even realise that you had 1 option of food, there've also been shed loads of times where there hadn't even been a V main option and I've had to create some sort of dinner out of sides, but we shut up and get on with it. You do your thing OP I can't wait to do it on my bday too

(Have just realised I sound like some sort of scary, militant Veggie, honestly I'm not, I'm one of the more gentle ones!!)

[FreeSpirit89]

YANBU

I'm speaking as a meat eater, and a fussy one at that.