to use a Fashion Advisor

[rachelmonday1]

I'm a guy that likes to crossdress, am happily married to an understanding wife and have a fairly wide circle of female friends who only know me as Rachel.

I've posted on here before and, whilst having upset the feminist community (totally un-intentionaly and I respect their views), I also received a lot of positive advice. Hence this post :)

I was out with some girlfriends last weekend and the subject of shopping came up. One of the girls always looks fabulous and says that she often uses the help of a Personal Shopper at John Lewis. I've since contacted my local store and they're more than happy that I make an appointment and reap the benefits of this service.

I love shopping, whether it's on my own, with my wife or with friends, but my wife thinks I may be taking it a bit far. Am I being unreasonable?

If you can afford it then why not

I don't think so... If John Lewis are happy to do it (as they should be, surely they'd be discriminating if they refused), then why not use the service?

Your wife is obviously a bit uncomfortable with the idea though - I'd try to find out why. She seems happy for you to go out in public with your female friends, so perhaps something else is going on... Is the service expensive?

CarmineRose1978: The service is free and is designed to help shoppers choose styles and colours that best suit them, which I think has to be a good idea. My wife thinks I may be taking my shopping a bit too seriously, but my view that I'd potentially be buying clothes that suit me rather than those that I think I ought to wear (if that makes sense).

In that case, provided you're not spending more than usual/more than you can afford, I think you should do it!

What is it that makes her uncomfortable?

notagainffffffffs: I think it's just that she feels I'm asking another woman to help with my styling. She understands why I crossdress and has known about it from way before we were even engaged. She is happy to come shopping with me and even buys me things when she's out on her own. I suppose it's just something I'd like to try.

YANBU. It sounds like a practical idea. I can understand wanting to look your best. You might as well that advantage of the service, especially if it is free of charge. Would your wife be willing to go with you and have a session herself?

I think it's a great idea. Like above maybe see if your wife wants to come with you both get a new outfit then maybe go for dinner etc make a whole day of it

Your words "my wife thinks I may be taking my shopping a bit too seriously" jumped out at me. What does "too seriously" mean? What does she think might happen? Are there any other issues you two need to discuss?

Sorry to Go Deep but I wondered - if this was really just a question about shopping, would you have posted it? Or could there be something more underlying this?

Obviously please just politely ignore me if I'm way off beam

I doubt you upset the entire 'feminist community', whatever that might be, as it doesn't have a hive mind.

In response to your question, I would go against the majority view and suggest that being sensitive to your wife's views should be your priority. She must have had to make huge and difficult adjustments to deal with your crossdressing, and while you might think her jibbing at a personal shopper is irrational, if she's been understanding, shouldn't you be too?

TalcumPowder: a point very well made and totally taken on board. I'm very lucky to be in the position that I am, and it's been built over many years of mutual trust, honesty and understanding. I think on this occasion I may be over-stepping the mark.

Thankyou to all of you that have responded. We already go shopping together and are often out together for drinks and meals, but I think it's very wise to listen more closely to my wifes' views. I think this idea was more vanity on my part! :)