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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be slightly annoyed by my daughter's friend

22 replies

Nottinghill1 · 30/08/2014 12:56

They are both 9 years old. The friend is very wealthy and has just moved into a million pound house. The friend says to my daughter, 'would you prefer to live in a big house like mine,or a small one like yours'. Ours is a 4 bed detached and we are very happy and content to live in 'our small house' and very grateful for what we have. I know kids will be kids and they say things but I just felt kind of uneasy about the comment. My daughter just replied 'we like it here'.

OP posts:

TalkingOwl · 30/08/2014 12:58

Good on your daughter!

ApocalypseNowt · 30/08/2014 12:59

YANBU to be slightly annoyed but that's it really.

Try and focus on being happy with your daughter's response - sounds like she handled it just fine!

AlpacaMyBags · 30/08/2014 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsgrumble · 30/08/2014 12:59

I wouldn't be annoyed, I think it's an innocent enough comment.
Your daughter made the best response. Kept communication open with your daughter that material things aren't what makes us happy etc.

I personally don't like children commenting on labels/ brands of clothing and prices of things so YANBU

Pumpkinpositive · 30/08/2014 12:59

Meh. Think that's probably a fairly natural question from a child of that age. Your daughter handled it well.

I would only be concerned if the friend starting making a habit of asking such questions.

londonrach · 30/08/2014 12:59

Your daughter handled it well

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/08/2014 13:02

I wouldn't read too much into it. Just a child asking a question. No big deal.
Also I wouldn't call a 4 bedroom house small. I have 3 rooms so mine must be tiny.

WooWooOwl · 30/08/2014 13:03

YANBU. But without knowing the child, it's hard to say whether she was being brattish or not.

When I was that age I had a friend who lived in a huge mansion, and she hated it. Her room was too far from her parents and she'd get scared, and when I expressed (friendly) jealousy over their swimming pool I was told she was rarely allowed to use it anyway as it was mostly used for her parents to entertain friends in the summer.

Be proud of your dds response, it was perfect.

Mrsjayy · 30/08/2014 13:30

Your daughter handled better than you are dont worry children say things like this all the time and some are more materialistic than others.

Optimist1 · 30/08/2014 13:30

Your daughter's friend had probably gone through months of listening to her parents talking about the new house, and to my mind her comment sounds as though she can't quite see what all the fuss was about. Your daughter's reply will have reinforced this view.

Mrsjayy · 30/08/2014 13:33

I live is a shoebox flat and one of the dds friends said where is your backdoor how do you get into the garden , dd said the front door the friend said oh that is too far for me to walk

Tangoandcreditcards · 30/08/2014 13:33

Where I live, a 4 bed detached IS a million pound house!

misses point

Original poster

Nottinghill1 · 30/08/2014 13:35

Thanks for all your replies!!

OP posts:

Lally112 · 30/08/2014 13:36

I would get used to it, in my experience both as one and as having one - teenage girls are a huge PITA who can be nasty and say really hurtful, bitchy and inappropriate things to eachother and everyone else.

HaroldLloyd · 30/08/2014 13:36

It's just stuff kids come out with. When my nephew was 9 he said to me my daddy's car is bigger and nicer than yours.

And why do you live in half a house (about my flat) I've got a whole house and it's much nicer.

They are not always fully aware that the answer to all this is that you might have more money than someone else, and it's possibly a bit yucky to point that out.

Sounds like quite an innocent question to me.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 30/08/2014 13:37

Don't be annoyed and don't give the list gets thing to your DD that you are annoyed, try to let these things wash over you, and even if you struggle to do that, certainly give the impression to your DD that you don't give two hoots about comments like that.

LEMmingaround · 30/08/2014 13:38

Its s fair question. Id prefer to live in your four bedder than my two bedder.

thatstoast · 30/08/2014 13:44

Where I live, a 4 bed detached IS a million pound house!

Exactly what I thought. I'm assuming the OP's username is her favourite film and not her location?

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 30/08/2014 13:44

They are 9. They ask odd questions. Their motives aren't always what you think they are. IF your DD had asked her friend, her friend might have said, me too.

I took my friends 9 yo DD to an elderly lady's home the other day. The child lives in a very large, very modern, swish house (no show home though, the kids are very much allowed to be kids). The elderly lady's house is a typical 3bd terrace, immaculately clean but with lots of cosy furnishings, an old but soft carpet and a ton of 'souvenirs', photos, plants etc. After we left the 9yo said to me 'I lovvvvvve her house, I wish I could live in a house like that'

Fubsy · 30/08/2014 13:54

Bloody hell, she'll be demanding Pizza Express next

WorraLiberty · 30/08/2014 13:59

I agree with the PP that said your DD handled it better than you seem to have

Both girls have probably completely forgotten about it

hamptoncourt · 30/08/2014 15:02

My ex step daughter said something like that once and it turned out she hated the big house she lived in and wanted to live in a little Victorian terrace like her friend, and like mine at the time.

I wouldn't assume it was meant as anything derogatory, it could be the opposite.

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