To stay in with dd

[Bambamboom]

She's 18 months & can be a very well behaved child. Sometimes. However she's always been active and kind of physically ahead of other kids. She's manic and is very strong minded. Anyway recently her behaviour has been very challenging, we plan days out, nice trips and take her to play areas but she just wants to do things she shouldn't/can't but is too king to understand why I won't let her do it. For example today we had to take her home because we took her to a play area, massive indoor with loads of stuff to do. It was rammed and all she wanted to do was climb UP the slide whilst loads of older kids are waiting to come down. Everytime I tried to take her to the top she went crazy, screaming, kicking and hitting. After about 30 minutes of trying to distract her and entertain her we left, she just wouldn't give up.
It's exhausting and such a shame because I want her to have fun but she gets so angry everytime she can't do exactly what she wants to do and can easily ruin a whole day in tantrums.
I think it's because she doesn't understand why she can't do what she wants to do but I feel so bad for staying in and avoiding busy areas because my child won't behave :(
Hopefully it's just a phase but I feel like such a rubbish mum, kids seem to ruin the plans you make for them.

Why not walk the direction she wants to?

Why not go to the playground early when it is quiet and she has space to walk up the slide without interruption?

Toddlers have a lot in common with demented parents. Sometimes you just have to follow them in their path with a smile and pick your battles.

She might be a child who finds things like softplay over stimulating and doesn't actually like it or get much from it. Why not try things like walks outdoors or feeding animals or having friends come to visit in her home where she feels more in control and comfortable and try swimming. Not all children like child focussed activities.

She sounds like she is keen to learn and explore but just hasn't yet learnt the boundaries which make exploring safe and more fun, that is what you have to keep teaching her.

I wouldn't take her home from anything in a bad moment because that is all she will remember about it. Wait until she's doing really well and go then, then she has the memory that she was a good girl there and can go back again. Don't start avoiding situations where you worry she'll kick off, that will shrink your life and stop you feeling in control. She's only 18 months, you can do it! You're the boss! Deep breath, always be in control with her, very clear and simple instructions, no flapping or crying in front of her and remember she understands everything you say so only speak in glowing terms about her in front of her, because she's a good girl right?

Ds is like this - he's 2 and getting a bit better - wouldn't even try walking along a street yet but we just find big open spaces and follow him roaming. Reins only mean a tug of war He still want to go on the big kids bits of play grounds so I just avoid them. Or only go when larger kids are at school-so big kids bits are empty. Can't wait for schools to go back.Beaches, enclosed parks take a ball. I just think 18 months is a funny inbetween age at 2 now my ds will just about sit and listen to songs but that's because he's learning about a zillion words a day and disks it all up like a sponge.
Gymboree also good as self contained soft play they can roam whilst songs etc are happening if hey get distracted ( and also to notice all of similar age are the same).
I think to some extent it's just being a young toddler.

My ds is similar, I joined the national trust earlier this year and have found it invaluable. Big open spaces where he can roam around. Most have a play area and cafe too so if he is co-operating I can sit down for a coffee whilst he has a snack.

I really sympathise, ds started walking very early, well before he could speak or understand any reasoning at all, and it was so exhausting. Baby/ toddler groups went from being a lovely catch up with other mums over a coffee to a constant effort to stop him escaping or getting into scrapes. Good news is that we are starting to come out of the other side of it now and you will too!

I had a very independent, physically active kid (who is now at uni and brilliant at sport). We swam a lot and didn't use armbands. It was a bit scary at the "MY do IT!" stage but I just let him fling himself around the pool and fished him out periodically and he would take a deep breath and fling himself around again. Lots of spider walking along the wall while I hovered behind. We went to a lot of empty playgrounds and places with fallen trees to climb on. He was the kind of kid that climbed onto the roof of the playhouse and freaked the other mothers out but I let him and he was fine (and would have done it anyway). I did let him climb backwards up slides, but would out loud say that we are going to let these children down first and then I would boost him while he climbed to speed up the process.

Swimming shark fin is good, woggles, chasing the fish , I had a dd and a ds like your lo. And spent a lot of time at the pool.