To feel down about how long it's taking us to get on the property ladder?

[ziggiestardust]

Just that really. I'm 26, DH is 27. We work in London as engineering contractors for 50 hours a week. The reasoning is so that we can afford to rent and save the amount needed for a deposit.

As contractors, we need 3 years of statements and accounts to secure a mortgage. Fair enough. But oh, the deposit. We'll get there, and it'll be fine but we'll be 30. And it doesn't feel fair, and I don't feel like there's any other option.

We have to buy a house to give us security in old age, and something to sell if one of us needs care, I suppose.

This way lies madness I'm sure... But doesn't it all feel a bit desperate?

I'm not sure you've really got a massive amount to complain about considering you probably earn at least £120k now

That's quite a lot and sure, it won't buy you a 5 million quid townhouse but it's an amazing wage

Can I ask why you're so different to everyone else that you need a property above others?

I never said that... I said that I wanted one so that I would have some collateral in my later years, and also to have something to sell if we need care. I don't want to be a burden to my DS. Or are you suggesting I just wing it? Or buy to let and add to the vicious cycle?

Ok then I guess IABU to worry! I shall throw caution to the wind and not worry about it any more

Many people want one for that reason but won't be able to. You will be able to in the next few years. You have money and live a comfortable life as you have said. I am really struggling to see what you are worrying about.

I was concerned about getting a mortgage on a contractors wage, and about taking a mortgage out for the first time at 30+.

Which I received advice for, and thanked those people for their advice.

This is my safe space to say the things I need, so don't be rude please

at the idea that AIBU = 'safe space'

You can't expect people who will never own anything to be passing the hanky because you won't get to buy in London in your twenties.

So... No one else worries about getting on the property ladder where I live? If you do, I'd love to hear from you...?

Yes you're being U. 30 is a fine and dandy time to buy a house. Be all paid off by 55.

I think there are plenty of people who worry about the situation you describe, and you are right to think the situation is crazy. But I think where you lost people is when you equated the situation to a lack of fairness. You, unlike others, have options available to you if you have the earning potential. It is up to you which option you choose but any consequence of that choice is not a lack of fairness but the result of the decision.

In all honesty I think you will be fine. I have just bought my first house aged 30 but it's in an area considerably cheaper than London, in fact, the deposit you are saving is probably worth more than my entire house. My partner is 10 years older than me and also a 1st time buyer despite being in a professional career - it's normal these days. Most of my friends aren't yet homeowners.

YANBU to worry. YABU to whine that it is "unfair".

Just a thought but are you sure that you are better off living and working in London? Could you contract in Birmingham for example? I know when dh and I did the sums a few years ago we realised we would earn less but be significantly better off living up North.

Ok, well I apologise for my poor choice of the word 'fair' in that case

OP - Best not to have two threads at the same time, one where you're buying loads of presents including iPad for your 4 year old and this where you're moaning about not being able to buy a house.

Especially in AIBU

How do some of you know the posters?? I have read the other thread but i didnt know that this op is the same!
Fwiw i think. that if you can have the lifestyle you seem to have and save good money each month you are in avery good position and very lucky.

In 1984, I bought my 1st property at age 28, usual age for my group - science postgrads with good jobs. I had to save 10% deposit + costs and satisfy Abbey I was a good risk.
Self-employed I knew were older, but needed 3 years statements and still found lenders were reluctant.

Back then, banks / building societies were much more cautious: would only lend 2.5 - 3 x income and spent more time evaluating ability to repay.

I certainly couldn't afford London or SE, so went up North

The housing thing is a horror. I remember having to save with then partner to pay back £17k negative equity on a flat that we purchased for £54k (100% mortgage) and sold for £37k - wanted to sell to buy a small house. Our lives were hard. Now different partner. Married. Great house, little mortgage. Good salary. But can't afford to move at all. It is much harder than it used to be. House prices are silly.

OP - I don't see the stress, you'll be 30 when you buy your first house, with a 25 year mortgage, it'll be completely paid off by the time you are 55, or earlier if you overpay - there's no need for the dramatics that you'll be a burden in your old age ! You'll then have another decade (longer than you've been working now) to save towards retirement with no mortgage or childcare to pay on top of whatever other pension provision you've made in the interim, and a period of saving when you will be at the end of your career so at the stage when your earning potential is the highest.

One of the 'costs' of contracting is you have to wait a little longer to prove you are a safe bet over those who are employed. If buying a house right this second is so important to you, look for an in house job and get a mortgage quicker. Of course, that will involve a much lower wage and so a much smaller house budget.

Unfortunately, part of being a grown up is realising you can't have everything. You get to have a house and a high wage, you just have to wait a few more years before you can buy it. Or you could have a lower wage, a smaller house in a less desireable area, sooner.

What you need to acknowledge, is you are in a good position that you have options and choices, that you're complaining about the slight down sides of one of those choices is pissing off people on here who don't have anywhere near the same options and choices as you do, that no matter how long they wait, they'll never get the sort of house budget you'll have in 4 years time. That they really will be facing retirement in a rental property with little pension provision no matter what they do now, whereas you are being rather dramatic about it when you know full well you'll be fine.

I know it's hard when you are planning something to be told you have to wait for it, but with a little time you'll have it.

I think if you get on the housing ladder in London by the time you're 30, you're incredibly lucky.

YANBU. You feel how you feel. It's all very well being reminded that there are people worse off than you and you shouldn't feel like you have to buy a house but I think everyone has to agree that the property situation is ridiculous.

A couple with average to above average wages in their late 20s/early 30s should surely be able to find the property ladder at least vaguely accessible. It's crazy that owning a house is a now a situation reserved for only a dwindling % of UK residents.

(Although I think YABU to expect AIBU to be a safe space!)

Sounds pretty normal to me. It's not 1985 when 21 year olds could buy their first flat on a low salary multiple. And in 1985 you wouldn't have got a mortgage on a contractor salary anyway. And you would have been paid less than your DH since you're a woman and equality legislation was not enforced.

So I would say you're doing OK. And I also think you have a naive attitude to property as a great way to provide financial security. What worked for your parents generation may not work for you. Think more creatively than just 'getting on the property ladder' whatever the hell that means...

Get a good mortgage broker who specialises in the self employed if you can. I am self employed and have always managed to get loans. Also my daughter used one and was able to buy a property to let out as the income is counted in addition to her own income so she could borrow more (although she cannot afford to live in it at least she's bought in London).

However it is the deposit which is the killer. It was very hard in my day too. 30 years ago most people did not buy certainly not even in outer London where even today the small house we started with costs £275k. It was only highly paid professionals like we were in our 20s who could at a stretch buy if they had spent years saving every last penny for the deposit. IN 1901 my grandfather rented a house with 26 other young men (the census for Newcastle gives all the names). Life was much worse then.

I think every new generation thinks they always have it worse than the one before but that is not always so.

Also consider second jobs. We had babies but also did weekend work too to get those deposits together, 30 years ago. Most people were not prepared to work so hard so they did not buy a property. To some extent it is about choice.