Would this be unreasonable at a wedding? It's today!

[Hurr1cane]

It's my DPs brothers wedding and we have all been invited, including me and my DS (not DPs child)

I'm so grateful they include DS like they do, my maternal family are horrible with him and we are now NC because of it.

DS is autistic and has severe learning difficulties and is 8. I was thinking we all go to the wedding, I'm taking me, DP, DS and DPs adult son, then when they go in to do the actual wedding bit, vows etc, I was going to wait outside with DS and amuse him myself so he doesn't make any noises and disturb their wedding, which is being videoed.

Would this be ok do you think? He doesn't understand quiet voices or when to be quiet and would most likely echo everything being said in a very loud voice if he was in there.

Got here, we have a room in the hotel quite close to everything courtesy of DPs mum

So we are sitting in here playing with balloons and being grabbed for the occasional photo. All good so far. Apart from DSs ridiculous photo smile....

We sat in the hotel bar when everyone left to go in, the brides mum said it would be fine if we went in but I just said he's very loud.

Caught a glimpse of the bride as well as she walked past the bar. She looks amazing. It's making me broody for a wedding but I very much doubt my DP would want this much fuss haha

I'm just grateful to be included at all TBH. It was a wedding situation that was the start of my NC with my mums family.

DS was (thankfully) wrongly diagnosed with neuro degenerate disorder and we were told he would die in childhood. The day after we were told this, my auntie text me saying "I hear DS won't get any better, seeing as he can't talk and make funny noises and won't improve, can you not bring him to my wedding?"

Then was most put out when I said I wouldn't be going either.

Not even a 'sorry your kids dying' just straight to 'don't bring the disabled anywhere near my posh do ta'

So even being invited by people who aren't related to us by blood is a massive deal for me. I could cry

You lovely, lovely people. Enjoy the wedding.

Hurr1cane, my ds attended my brother's wedding in a hotel when he was 9. He's at the severe end of the spectrum but was thankfully good as gold (apart from one small shout out when they asked for any just reason or impediment ). I had stressed myself daft over it all. He sat beautifully afterwards and ate his meal and then we took him for a run around the grounds. He managed the first part of the evening do and had a great time enjoying the disco lights. Luckily we had a family room booked so him and his sister were all tucked up by 8pm as it was getting busy then.

I hope you all have a lovely day.

at your auntie that is disgusting!

I think you're doing the right thing and DPs family sound normal and nice.

My wedding ceremony was punctuated by my auntie (who does have a neuro degenerative condition) crying and shouting loudly (she can't process emotions any more and happiness often sounds like the opposite!). We were prepared for this and didnt mind.

Some friends with small children still took them outside when they made noise, which was pretty superfluous tbh, but they felt more comfortable with that and so that was fine with us too.

I think this is how reasonable people behave. Hope you enjoy the rest of the day!

What a horrible thing for your aunt to say.

I think your plan is very good, and whilst the couple would probably be likely to say it would be fine for your DS to be at the ceremony, I'm sure they will feel grateful you have a backup plan.

I hope everyone has a lovely time x

Just back in the room now letting everyone hear the speeches because DS is loving the sound of his own screams today this room is a life saver. In here popping balloons rather than shushing DS and getting cross, and it gives him a little breather away from the crowds.

It was funny before. We were sat in the bar area and the ceremony was going on, then the bar man knocked a glass over and it smashed, so DS screamed (he only likes his own loud noises) and then another member of staff came running over saying "what happened? I heard a smash and a woman scream!"

Yeah, that would be my tiny child sitting happily in the corner....

Oops! Just walked in at the end of the speeches so stood near the door, 5 minutes in and DS shouted "iiiiiin suuuummmmmmeeeeeerrrrr" bloody frozen haha

Oops! Just walked in at the end of the speeches so stood near the door, 5 minutes in and DS shouted "iiiiiin suuuummmmmmeeeeeerrrrr" bloody frozen haha

I hope you are having a lovely day and just wanted to add: OMG what is it with the ridiculous photo smile? I haven't got one decent pic of DS from the past 18 months because of that daft rictus grin (he's 9, also ASD).

I'm thinking of learning photo shop

I'm so glad you're having a lovely time!

So, this morning the bride and her mum told me I was daft yesterday and no one would have cared if DS shouted because that's just him and he's part of the family now.

They don't know the story about what my family did.

I can't quite believe this attitude, it's so lovely.

Hurr1cane - I have a lump in my throat, half because of your 'aunt'

Your family sound really horrible. He's only a child. It's good your DP has a considerate loving family setup. Just enjoy

You ALL sound really lovely. I, too, would have kept a possibly loud child outside of a wedding; and the inclusive attitude of your new relatives is a real gift. Between you all, I think you're going to have good times together.

Thanks, his family are lovely.

But that grim though, he says cheese like he really means it! The effort that goes into that horrific grimace is unreal.

The genetics councillor was trying to take a photo of his face to send to research with his DNA, something about looking for signs of anything, and he kept scrunching his face up in that giant cheese smile every time her camera went near him! She just needed a normal expression, scrunched up face was no good.

It IS quite cute though I must admit... I have a video of him doing it, it's probably my favourite thing