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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I should not have to stand over my children constantly?!

23 replies

iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 07:38

It is becoming more frequent that in the morning my 'd'ds are just mucking about when they should be getting dressed. There is no consistency. Some mornings they go up and are done and ready perfectly but others like this morning I could just scream!

They had their breakfast and went upstairs to do their teeth and get dressed; I go up 10mins later after making up their pack lunches to find one sat on her bed reading and the other playing with a doll Angry both are still in their pyjamas obviously!

They are 10 and 6 so should know better! I feel as if I have to stand in the same room as them to make sure they get ready but at their age it's something they should be able to do themselves! 6yr old can completely dress herself, she is usually first ready so no one is having trouble in that sense it appears that they just cba!

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houseofstark · 29/08/2014 07:42

Do you think it's just the adjustment after the school holidays? I presume you're in Scotland as you're up and dressed already and talking about packed lunches?

I think lots of routines slip when out of school and now it's about getting back into them.

Does that fit or is it bigger than that?

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 07:45

Yes we are in Scotland, been back a little over a week.

I'd love to say it is that but they were doing it intermittently through the holidays too. I had separated them, sending one to dress and the other to do teeth, for a few weeks which I think was better but for whatever reason we just got out of that

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Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 07:45

They do it at night too thinking it will delay bedtime but it tends to backfire and they get in trouble for not doing as asked

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FunkyBoldRibena · 29/08/2014 07:48

No problem, take them to school in their pyjamas. Lovely.

If they do it at night time, then put them to bed 15 mins earlier each night until they stop. Lovely.

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 07:51

Oh how I would love to funky Grin

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Dolallytats · 29/08/2014 07:51

Was going to say the same as Funky. Let them know if they are not dressed they will go in their PJ's, and make sure you do it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 29/08/2014 07:52

Toothbrushes at the kitchen sink for straight after breakfast and clothes down for them to dress in the lounge.

Frogisatwat · 29/08/2014 07:59

Watching with interest. Mine are 9 & 11 and they are still like this. Pisses me right off. The younger one I actually have to talk through every bloody item of clothing. Prompting him what comes next because oh.. look there is a book he likes the look of
Or a lego character which needs examining. . I can actually feel my blood pressure rising thinking about it. Angry I have taken them in their pyjamas. It did work for a bit. But if you need to get to work yourself this is not doable. Also I have to leave at 8am for the school bus so I just end up raging

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 07:59

No space to dress in lounge or I would def do that, i was tempted to have them dress in my room and then there wouldn't be any distractions to them. I might give that a go Monday.

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Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 08:00

Yes Frog my DH has to be at work for 8 and we go in with him (I am in town now writing this). It's not the best start to the day really!

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Taffeta · 29/08/2014 08:06

Mine don't get breakfast until they are dressed.

Then they don't get other stuff they want to play with til they have shoes on and teeth brushed.

I need to work in making bed as well from Sept.

chinamoon · 29/08/2014 08:08

Are their clothes laid out? Have you tried setting a timer - 5 mins to get dressed, 5 mins for teeth etc. My two are early teens and still the concept that time doesn't stop just because you want to play your guitar before school seems to have escaped them.

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 08:10

We do breakfast, teeth then dressed or that is the plan anyway.

They can read if they manage it before we have to go but it's so rare that it hadn't happened in a while. Just walking to school and they are yapping away like nothing happened this morning. I try to give them the silent treatment but they don't talk to me so it makes no difference lol.

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youmakemydreams · 29/08/2014 08:10

I am having the same argument with 10 yea told dd this morning who thinks she should play no part in getting ready in the morning at all.
Everyone does the jobs they can do for their own breakfast. I make toast ds1 gets himself and ds2 a drink. Dd saunters down later and sits down waiting for breakfast to be delivered to her. She is currently hugging on the floor because I have told her to get dressed but she's not had breakfast yet. I'm making packed lunches and sorting out her little brother for nursery. She can get dressed first. But no that's too much trouble. She will be going to school in her hello kitty onsie at this rate. Angry
I so feel better after that rant though Grin

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 08:11

Yes china their clothes are out, in theory they could be dressed in about 2mins as I have seen it happen. I have annoyed dd2 though as she likes her (long) hair done nicely for school but I just put it up in a pony as they took too long

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Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 08:13

youmakemydreams glad you feel better! I hate starting the day on a bad note and need to try not to blow up!

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CharlieSaysAlwaysTellYourMummy · 29/08/2014 08:19

we used to get dressed in bed when I was kid ! Just for fun but the rule was get dressed under the covers as fast as possible, then mum would come in a "shout" at us for still being in bed and TA DAH! we would jump up fully dressed. The repetition of this gag day after day didn't seem to bother us. then down for breakfast, teeth last, invariably spilling toothpaste down the school jumper.

however · 29/08/2014 08:36

I have an alarm on my phone that goes off when it is time to get up, another that indicates a 10 minute warning, and a 3rd that goes off when they are supposed to be walking out the door. They're all songs. It works well. We are in a small house and the kids can hear it quite clearly.

They also have a list of what they need to do in the mornings that is taped on the wall in their room. Make bed, get dressed, brush hair....etc. so instead of following them around barking instructions I just tell them to finish their list.

nannynoss · 29/08/2014 08:39

I had two charges like this before. But they were sent upstairs after breakfast to get dressed in their own rooms from 3. They used to be up there for a total of about 3 minutes each and then come legging it down the stairs ready to go (except for jumper and shoes).
I used a combination of competition ('who's going to be ready first?'), a bit of reverse psychology ('you'll NEVER be able to get dressed by yourself, surely?') and a reward at the end. One used to love having an apple before school but he could only have one if he got ready in time. I can only remember two times he never got it, and he hated it so much it never happened again. The other one liked to watch tv before school. Again, only if there was time could he have it.
I also used to stop laying clothes out from age 6 and we would just discuss what to wear (vest or not, short sleeves etc) looking out at the weather at breakfast and they'd go up and find it themselves.

DoItTooJulia · 29/08/2014 10:02

Apparently, children respond to written instructions best. So, I would draw up a simple and clear timetable for the morning. If they follow it, on Friday an ice cream (or whatever) after school as a reward.

Persistence is the key. And silent treatment won't work....they're children and children can natter away no matter what's going in around them!

youmakemydreams · 29/08/2014 13:39

The morning got better and better. Dd did get dressed and out the door on time. Dropped them at school jumped in the car to go off and run a list of errands as long as my arm.
AA got me going and I'm gourde behind so I've given up and having a lie down.

ArabellaTarantella · 29/08/2014 16:18

I'm all for taking them to school in their pj's - you would only have to do it once (and bugger those who say they would be 'humiliated'!)

Original poster
iamdivergent · 29/08/2014 17:22

Will definately try the written instructions for them - thank you Smile

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