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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my son should not have been able to trap his hand in the Next lift?

116 replies

maggiethemagpie · 28/08/2014 17:31

I was shopping at the big Next store in Manchester city centre today. We were coming down in the lift from the children's department to street level and my three year old son put his hand in the gap between the doors and the wall, when the lift stopped the doors opened and squashed his hand - I had to pull it out. I didn't see what he was doing as I was preoccupied with my other child.

Although I can understand that the door has to go somewhere when it opens am I right in thinking that a lift in a shop selling children's clothes, so there is likely to be a lot of kids using it, should be more childproof than that?

I can't fault next management once alerted they came and took a statement and said they'd call their lift engineer out but surely it should not have happened in the first place?

OP posts:

CrohnicallyDepressed · 28/08/2014 22:05

Thanks- I never knew that about the safety mechanism! Always thought it was pressure based the same as my automatic car windows.

As for bring them into the body of the lift I have never been to the Manchester Next store, but if it was the same as my 2 nearest Next stores, by the time you have an adult and a pushchair in there, the lift is full and it's a squeeze to get even a toddler in, never mind away from the doors. That's why I said the OP might NBU- if it's a lift like ours then I can see how it could happen even if you were watching like a hawk.

plantsitter · 28/08/2014 22:06

I can't really picture the lift or how you could get you hand stuck in it but I think everybody has jumped on the 'be a proper parent' bandwagon and this poor op is somewhere crying and thinking she's a crap mum.

OP it can be really tricky with 2 and all of us have had the odd accident happen when we were looking the other way. Maybe the lift is unsafe in design but even if it was 'your fault' don't beat yourself up. He's ok, you're ok, it was an accident.

CrohnicallyDepressed · 28/08/2014 22:11

plantsitter hell, DD (nearly 2) had an accident earlier (fell down a couple of steps) and she's an only! I was right there and watching and just didn't react in time. Obviously I should have been helicoptering with my hands no more than 2 inches away the whole time, even though she had been up and down these steps on her own at least 20 times today.

Bedsheets4knickers · 28/08/2014 22:11

No-one is to blame next/lift or parent .things happen.

soverylucky · 28/08/2014 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PPaka · 28/08/2014 22:21

I cannot picture a lift where you could get your have stuck. I don't get it. Unless it's one of those really old fashioned warehouse kind of lifts that you pull to one side.
I thought all lifts had to have a safety mechanism.

And it would take a child one second to put his hand somewhere it shouldn't be. Lay off the OP, FFS

Sirzy · 28/08/2014 22:25

People aren't having a go at the op because the accident happened but because she was looking to blame the shop when they weren't to blame.

LosingAllTheLego · 28/08/2014 22:28

Ultimately, accidents happen. That's life. You can't engineer out every element of risk from life. There probably aren't that many toddlers hopping off down to Next on shopping sprees with their mates unaccompanied, so the risk is largely negligible because as a society we sort of expect our fully grown people to keep a bit of any eye out for our little people. But even so, accidents occasionally happen.
You should still probably report it to the store anyway so they can record it in their accident book, and it'll help them to pattern the incident should there be other occurrences, which would then raise the risk profile and action would be taken etc etc.

Anyway OP, hope your little one's alright.

LittlePeaPod · 28/08/2014 22:28

Op, as others have said YABU. It's your responsibility to watch your toddler.

*has he also managed to get his hand stuck behind a hand dryer?

Was it a hand? I thought it was a head. I may be wrong though.

LittlePeaPod · 28/08/2014 22:29

Op, as others have said YABU. It's your responsibility to watch your toddler.

has he also managed to get his hand stuck behind a hand dryer?

Was it a hand? I thought it was a head. I may be wrong though.

PPaka · 28/08/2014 22:30

"Watch him properly"

"Lesson learned"

"You should be watching him"

"If you had been watching him properly"

I think that's all blaming the OP

LittlePeaPod · 28/08/2014 22:35

I think that's all blaming the OP

Clearly, but if she wasn't watching him then she is responsible.

Sirzy · 28/08/2014 22:37

Or pointing out if anyone could have prevented it it was her. That's not to say accidents don't happen it's simply saying that when they do you don't always have to look for an outside party to blame for what has happened.

It was an accident. In hindsight the op could have stopped it with better supervision but hindsight is a great thing. You can't blame next for what happened though!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 28/08/2014 22:48

Is Chopin the same looney who suggested the tangled hair monsoon dress buttons child sent a recording to monsoon about how terribly sad the situation had made her?

Anyway OP I totally agree. I mean my LO was in tescos and took a bottle of sherry off the shelf and necked it. I think a shop that sells nappies and formula really should not allow this to happen

PacificDogwood · 28/08/2014 22:51

YABU.

And I bet your DS won't do it again - there you go, he's learnt something, no 'course' required. Life's an education.

TheBloodManCometh · 28/08/2014 22:59

Meh, these things happen. I stuck my fingers between the hinges of a very slammy heavy door when I was about 6.

Never did it again.

Morloth · 29/08/2014 00:32

Don't know about OP's DS but my DS's don't appear to learn from these things.

They just do it again and again and again, with the same results everytime.

however · 29/08/2014 01:29

My child has done it. It's just one of those things. Not caused by lax parenting, and not caused by the retailer in which the lifts are located.

desertmum · 29/08/2014 06:57

my daughter got her head stuck in some railings once - they were round a fish pond and had put her head through while standing up, then bent down to look at the fish and couldn't get her head out. DM was telling staff (in a hotel) to get butter to run on her ears, DD was a tad upset but DH realised what had happened and stood her up and she became unstuck. She was more upset that we laughed than the actual sticking. Shit happens.

Iffy2014 · 29/08/2014 06:59

Chopin has had a number of fairly odd ideas about parenting on here recently. Quite amusing, I sincerely hope most of them aren't real. Attendant in a lift, perhaps even one dressed as Spiderman... really?

Trapping a hand in a lift is just one of those things. Most kids will learn a lesson from something like that, some kids are just a bit daft or accident prone and may do those things a lot in childhood (growing up, my cousin may as well have had a reserved seat in minor injuries, he was there so often. He did survive to adulthood, and is now a riot officer or something, so not afraid to take a bit of a beating!).

Altinkum · 29/08/2014 07:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 29/08/2014 07:25

My nephew got his hand stuck in a Victoria line tube now because "he wanted to see if the door would stop if he put his hand there".

It stopped. on his hand

I had to yank it free. That was my fault entirely, I was getting 3 other kids into the tube at the time.

And he went home and said to my DSil- aunty got my hand stuck in the door and then pulled it so hard she really really hurt my shoulder and then she told me to never never touch the door again. But how do I get on and off if I don't touch the door?"

Anyway. It was an accident. The lift thing was an accident. Children are odd. They like to stick parts of themselves in places that make you think WTF were you hoping to achieve by that?

Next time, have your dc stand very close to you. I had to do this when dd pressed every lift button 4 times and the emergency bell and the lift refused to move or open. Fun times.

And don't even ask about when ds1 aged 3 decided to press the emergency stop button on the escalator in woolworths whilst people were still on it

Btw my Dcs are not actually wild animals, in fact they are now pretty nice, happy, non button pressing teenagers. But they certainly taught me you need eyes everywhere. Or reins. Or superglue.

chopinbabe · 29/08/2014 08:11

Iffy.

I don't think that I suggested that a lift attendant be dress as Spiderman. Just want to nip that in the bud before the Chinese Whisper effect begins.

So pleased that you find my parenting ideas, 'amusing' and pleased too that it allows you to have a fleeting and, possibly false, feeling of superiority. You may be in a place whereby you need to feel that and I am glad that I was able to provide it for you.

I don't think though that I will refrain from posting my opinions where I have one, as I am quite sure they are as valid as any on here. We are all mums doing our best.

MyFairyKing · 29/08/2014 08:23

A lift attendant is a terrible idea. As a disabled person, I already often wait ages for a lift, so precious space should not be taken up by a lift attendant (unless we're in Harrods) all because small children are funny things who like to poke their fingers in places.

When I was a little, I poked my finger in a video player to see what would happen. I hurt my finger and broke the video player. I still remember it even 22 odd years later.

violetlights · 29/08/2014 08:29

YADNBU. Having looked round a million apartment blocks (not really a million) this summer, I definitely would NOT expect a lift to close on an adult or child's hand. In an old, shitty building where the management didn't care about H&S, fair enough.... but in a shopping mall or shop? A big no no IMHO. I only saw one apartment block where a lift would have closed onto a hand and was a big reason I decided not to live there. Regardless of what other posters say it's impossible to watch a young child 100% of the time that's why public areas have certain safeguards.

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