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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would leave your children in the car whilst you had a job interview..?

50 replies

TheNewClassic · 27/08/2014 16:07

My work place are hiring. A lady came in and had a job interview which consisted of her doing an assessment then an interview. She spent pretty long in the interview room. Even came out to move her car at one point.

Today I asked if she got the job and I was told no because as the manager was seeing her off she saw two children (toddler and a child between 6-8) in the car!!

I was shocked and remembered an american lady whose children were removed because of a similar situation.

AIBU to ask in which situation would this be ok! I think in NONE.

OP posts:
JanineStHubbins · 27/08/2014 16:08

Was that the only reason they didn't give her the job? What was the job?

Original poster
TheNewClassic · 27/08/2014 16:21

The job is as a tutor. I guess that would be a reason why she didnt get the job...

OP posts:
Groovee · 27/08/2014 16:23

At 11 and 14 yes I would but not at under 10 ish

Chimchar · 27/08/2014 16:25

I wouldn't. But then you have no idea how desperate she is for work....need a job to pay for childcare, need childcare to get a job. She could be stuck in vicious circle.

Or she might think that it's perfectly acceptable!

Original poster
TheNewClassic · 27/08/2014 16:31

I did say that she must have been pretty desperate to leave her children. She should have even have said 'look I am really sorry I couldnt get a babysitter do you mind if they sit here'. I would have definately watched them for her.

But if thats her acceptability levels regardign safeguarding then shes definately not right for the job!

OP posts:
littlemslazybones · 27/08/2014 16:32

I think I might if I were on the bones of my arse and desperate enough.

Cristalle · 27/08/2014 16:35

yeh, i would now, they're 13 and 9. But I thinhk I would have done it even two years ago if I was desperate and it was a job i thought I had a good chance of getting. I'm a single parent. don't jduge, it's hard!

Cristalle · 27/08/2014 16:37

no way would she have got the job if she'd asked the receptionist to mind the children! they would have assumed she had childcare issues (which might be true) but still, that would have totally scuppered her chances.

If it's the only reason she didn't get the job, ie, if she would have got it if they hadn't seen her kiids in the car then I think it's really rough on her.

A man doing that, people would have rolled their eyes, been more sympathetic, presumed his wife had let him down, or if he were a single father they'd think he were a hero.

littlemslazybones · 27/08/2014 16:41

Well I'm not a single parent and live a comfortable life but I still have enough empathy to see how someone, squeezed enough by poverty and shit circumstance, might see the short term risk against a long term gain and think, maybe I could luck this one out if I lock the car and cross my fingers.

But what the hell do I know, when I was little people would leave their kids in the car to do the weekly shop in peace.

Original poster
TheNewClassic · 27/08/2014 16:43

The work place is very reasonable and relaxed. I think it might have made them go hmmm and ask about childcare but not totally wrecked her chances.

I guess they are worried about her own acceptability levels of what is good safeguading.

PP I think a 7 and 10 year old is very different. From when a toddler is in the car thats a complete different situation imo.

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 27/08/2014 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlemslazybones · 27/08/2014 16:51

How would she know the work place is reasonable and relaxed? For all she knew, she would be thrown up as aibu fodder, 'do you think it's reasonable to bring your kids to an interview and expect meeee to look after your kids? [hmmface] [hmmface]

Original poster
TheNewClassic · 27/08/2014 16:58

Possibly..littlems but I would think thats more cheeky than shocking!!

The woman in America got punished quite harshly but gathered alot of public support. So I am guessing maybe I am the unreasonable one :/

OP posts:
SevenZarkSeven · 27/08/2014 16:59

If I really needed the job and had no other options then maybe - I can certainly understand why someone would do that.

I can also well understand why she didn't bring them in and ask if they could wait.

Is this woman already at your work in a different role - I don't understand how you saw her again. Maybe have misunderstood your post.

littlemslazybones · 27/08/2014 17:04

I think that desperate people make poor decisions. I feel sad for her.

tethersend · 27/08/2014 17:06

YANBU at all. Leaving young children locked in a car for that length of time is unacceptable, and leaves them at risk of harm.

The reason for leaving them is academic.

cansu · 27/08/2014 17:07

I feel v sorry for her. She was obviously desperate. I think I wouldn't do this but then maybe I just haven't been in inch a shitty place that I would need to consider it.

greeneggsandjam · 27/08/2014 17:17

Sometimes you just don't have anyone to help you. She probably didn't want to leave them in the car, but what other option did she have?

youmakemydreams · 27/08/2014 17:26

I'm more Hmm that you think your employer would be ok to ask about childcare. That is not an appropriate interview question.
Tbh I reckon she was probably desperate for the job. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Couldn't pay for childcare for interviews as I didn't have a job struggled to take a job with immediate starts as I had to arrange childcare.
I had no family nearby and in the end begged favours from school mums. If that is the only reason she didn't get the job I think it's pretty poor really. We all make judgment calls and are generally more laid back with our own dc than other peoples.
She was clearly desperate and I fell a bit sad for her actually.

4boysxhappy · 27/08/2014 17:29

I would only leave my teenager and twenty year old :o)

The youngest two I would not (2 & 8)

Afraid as said before the reason for leaving them is not relivent. You just can't leave your kids in a car.

Beastofburden · 27/08/2014 17:33

I feel sorry for her but it is still a mahoosive misjudgement. I would actually have asked her to come back for a second interview, offering to have someone mind the kids for her in the office if that would help, and then say frankly that we had to question her judgement doing that, could we please discuss it? So, not to rule her out, but certainly not a good sign.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 27/08/2014 17:34

Maybe she had no other choice:

a) take kid and leave them in car, hopefully get job, be able to feed/clothe/house kids
b) stay home with kids, don't get job, don't eat/cloth/house kids etc

tethersend · 27/08/2014 18:11

Kleine, that still does not make leaving the children acceptable.

You could apply the same logic to a prostitute who leaves her children alone in a car whilst she sees a client. It is an awful situation, but the children, being the age they are, are at risk of harm if they are left in this way.

Whether the mother is going to an interview for a job or selling her body in order to buy food does not change this.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/08/2014 18:15

So what was she planning on doing if she got the job? If money was an issue she wouldnt have any for a months worth of work.....is that a months worth of leaving the kids in the car?

littlemslazybones · 27/08/2014 18:16

I don't think that is equivalent. Putting aside the prostitute angle, totally unnecessary, I don't imagine this woman intended to leave her children in the car every time she went to work. She left her children in the car to attend an interview, to get a job, which would afford her access to childcare. So, I don't think that is the same.

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