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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU in not really wanting my kids to go back to school

40 replies

Itsjustmeagain · 25/08/2014 23:16

All I have heard the last few weeks is "bet you are counting down the days" and things to that effect but I actually feel the opposite. I have 5 children and I much prefer the holidays when they are here all day to the term time when they are out. I dont think it helps that school has been an issue in some way for all but one of the older 4 (youngest is only 2). The oldest (9) has had social problems and struggles to make friends (although does really well with the academic side of things), the 8 year old has learning problems, 5 year old so far is great! but 4 year old starting this year had serious problems with nursery to the point where I had become a SAHM because she wasnt coping at all with the nursery.

I feel like a failure of a mother taking them to school, but at home they are really wonderful children, they are well behaved, interesting and keen to o activites etc. Despite the problems the older three really enjoy going to school so I would never let my feeling get in the way of that but AIBU to feel this way? I mentioned this to SIL and she basically said I was insane and needed to get a life and that it was not normal to feel like keeping the children close.

AIBU to NOT be looking forward to school starting again?

OP posts:

NotYouNaanBread · 26/08/2014 07:25

If you're up for it, it seems like your family would enjoy homeschooling. We're doing it for a couple of years after this school year (moving somewhere where the local school system isn't stellar) and I'm looking forward to it.

SenatusPopulusqueRomanorum · 26/08/2014 07:43

YANBU. I have been homeschooling mine for a few years. When their friends come for playdates during the schoolyear, I always notice that they are horribly tired. And let's not even mention the way they speak.

Metalgoddess · 26/08/2014 08:21

Yanbu. I love the school holidays and spending lots of time with my dcs. I hate the rigidity of the school day. I think primary school should be a 3 day week and secondary 4 day week.

HSMMaCM · 26/08/2014 08:29

Every holidays (and sometimes in between) I mention home schooling to DD. She's now going into year 11 and on the whole she loves school now, but maybe that's because she knows she had a choice. She had some miserable times when she was younger and I could have happily held her in my arms for a year.

HoldenMcGroin · 26/08/2014 08:32

Yes I too love the school hols

My children are teens and such GOOD company

ThatBloodyWoman · 26/08/2014 08:34

Yanbu.
Mixed feelings here.While I love having them around and doing activities and the relaxed feel, I think they need to be back, and we will all benefit for having some structure again.I get a bit too lax in the holidays -everyone is up late and its hard to get up for work.....
Also looking forward to pursuing my child free activities again.

Bicnod · 26/08/2014 08:38

YANBU.

DS1 starts year 1 next week and DS2 starts preshool and I'm dreading it

I love having them at home, they love being together and I miss them so much when they're not around. Plus the school run is a pain and DS1 gets tired and grumpy.

Buuuuut, he's looking forward to going back so that's a good thing.

Hoppinggreen · 26/08/2014 08:48

I don't want to home school and my 2 quite like school but even so I enjoy the holidays and would quite happily have them off for a few more weeks. Ideally they would have every Friday off!!!!

MissBeans · 26/08/2014 09:04

To a large extent yabu! You should be grateful your dc get the right to free education.

Ds is starting school this year. He's a v bright boy; I'm a sahm who NEEDS a break desperately. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss my little boy a great deal, but I don't have the patience or inclination to provide 'home schooling'. I think I'd go insane.

NickiFury · 26/08/2014 10:33

"You should be grateful your dc get the right to a free education"

No I shouldn't, the education provided for MY child was not fit for purpose.

Kewcumber · 26/08/2014 11:14

Nicki thats a peculiar attitude - you don;t think we should all be grateful for the right to a comprehensive education... even if it didn't work for you?! You have the right to expect it - there isn't an obligation for you to take it up if you prefer to home ed.

I can understand feeling grumpy about school failing your child (have been in this position very very recently) but I can still appreciate that a free education is a blessing for the majority of children and that we should feel thankful that we live in a society that deems this a right.

This doesn;t mean we can;t be critical of individual delivery or even accept that we have a child that isn;t going to suit formal education and find an alternative.

NickiFury · 26/08/2014 11:45

I don't think it's "peculiar" it's my personal opinion. My child was attacked repeatedly by an adult in his school environment, so no I am not feeling particularly grateful at the moment.

My dd despite recommendations for various therapies for her autism will not receive any of them this year because of funding cuts. There are no longer in house therapies available at her (or any schools in the borough) school and if I want her to have them I will have to pay. If she doesn't have them she will fall further and further behind and I will probably end up home educating her too.

As for the wider picture, obviously free education for all is a wonderful thing but in THIS country it's not working for a LOT of children and we get shut down on complaining because we should be grateful? I'm not feeling particularly grateful towards recent changes in the education system and I am not grateful that many other countries are doing it better than us. The SEN provision in this country is utterly woeful and when I see only four MP's attending really important debates on this and then see debates on pay rises packed to the rafters I found it very hard to be grateful for what has been done to both my dc.

I belong to HE groups where I here this story repeated over and over again.

littlejohnnydory · 26/08/2014 12:12

I miss Home Ed so much. But my D's wants to go to school. I'd be over the moon if he changed his mind! I wish flexischooling was a legal right.

4boysxhappy · 26/08/2014 12:54

Kids all like school and get on well but I would love to home ed if I could. My kids have always learnt more and faster at home.

Wish there were a few more weeks left to the school holidays as it is lovely just to do things our way and not tied to school routine.

I agree that no school on firdays would be wonderful. Would vote for a shorter school week anytime.

Artandco · 26/08/2014 13:11

My oldest starts school in September and I'm half dreading it tbh!
Myself and dh need to travel a lot for work and up until now have just taken both ds's with us or grandparents look after a few days ( at theirs out of town). Otherwise we mainly work from home. So starting school means we loose the ability to just take them away as and when plus we will need a strict routine to get up and to school on time. Ie this am I worked 6am-10am whilst children slept in.

I would much prefer a shorter school week of say 3 days in primary and 4 days in secondary. Looking at what a 4/5/6 year old should know from school mine at 4 and 3 already know so they obv learn/ take in stuff well from other sources

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