To ask how often you do marvellous things with DCs?

[Dearyme1]

We have DS3 and DD1. We still find going out with them for whole days tricky and tend to go out in 'bursts' and visit a local park or nearby petting farm - and even then it's far from glitch free!

I know you shouldn't compare - ever. But...I feel that we don't do 'enough'.

Quite often our days are resting and doing absolutely nothing due to a terrible night's sleep.

Our peers with two kids of a similar age - and many with one extra - seem to fare better.

I don't want our kids to miss out.

I think you are putting yourself under too much pressure by comparing yourself to others. I take my DD swimming and to the park. We have trips to the zoo and play dates but we also have duvet days with lots of Disney films. Or days at home with toys, crafts and play doh. It's about balance I think.

Play to your child's strengths. People probably saw us and thought what you think. However, it was all because, no matter how exhausted we were, it was massively better to get DD out and about than be in the house. DD could walk miles (literally) at 2. We are still at the beach, park, farm, museum, gardens etc. because otherwise DD will climb the walls. I, in tun, feel envious of people who can craft and cook with theirs. I can just do that with DD at almost 4, she is just calm enough now!

When my DC were that age I could only really take them anywhere when my DH was of work at the weekend as they were both dashers. Most days I just aimed for no injuries and minimal screaming.

What do you mean by glitches though? Do you mean things like a wet pair of pants or a DC falling over? These are normal things.

Mine are three and one and we only really do what you describe, park, petting zoos, tried our first theatre with the older one but it wasn't a huge success.

I find mine are happy as larry running around in an open space, trip to the park etc.

Where are you getting the information about all the things other people do?

If it's Facebook remember you are only seeing positive snippets. Most people don't post "didn't do much today"

Also, toddlers can be very different, and my older one is a handful and the younger a bolter, which impacts on what I can do during the week on my own.

Different people class different things as marvellous. I can't go more than a day without getting out of the house with the kids, we'd all go mad! So dog walking, play park, trip to the beach, trip round the shops are daily occurrences. We're very lucky as a family that we have free access to some leisure activities so can swim 1-2 times a week and the same for soft play if we want to.

But all that is part of a regular routine for us and Whilst DD enjoys it all, I don't think she sees any of it as particularly special outings. To be honest, I feel most marvellous when we bake together, or I manage to turn tidying up into a game a la Mary poppins! And I know that her favourite thing is when I sit down with her and play octonauts. You're doing fine if your children are happy!

It all depends on your perception of marvellous!

My children's favourite memories from when they were young were going for walks to Sainsburys. We would take the scenic route around the streets, looking in gardens (we had a points system for certain plants... they still shout with glee when they spot a Monkey Puzzle Tree), points for doubles on front doors, points for dog breeds etc.

We always bought a treat for on the way home. When they were toddlers it would be a pack of digestive biscuits... 2 biscuits each! When they were older, they would choose from the deli counter... veg samosas were often the treat of choice.

On occasion, we would choose a DVD from the reduced section. Thunderpants and 9 were particular favourites.

We had loads of days outs to farms, theme parks, beaches etc too... and amazing holidays.

The days that they remember best though, are those walking to Sainsburys days. And they won't let me give 9 to the charity shop, because that was the day that they cherish the most... the one when we discovered that if we pushed both sofas together, we could watch our DVD like we were in bed, with the big duvet and the cat .

I only have 1 ds who's is 20 months. We often do whole day outings and we go out at least once a day but as Mrsterrypratched said it is more to do with what is easiest for us, if we had a child who was willing to sit and do crafts or watch films we'd do that much more often!

Ds puts his shoes on and stands at the door shouty "OUT! OUT!" with just his nappy on at 7 in the morning.

We have yearly tickets to 3 child friendly days out, often a yearly ticket is less than the price of 2 visits so although it looks like we spend tons of money entertaining ds as we take him to places that cost quitealot for a single ticket the cost over the year is only a pound or two for each trip.

I pack up a bag with nappies, snacks and lunch most days and we are usually out of the house the majority of the time, I find it really hard to entertain ds when we are forced to stay at home because he's ill.

I'm expecting dc2 in the autumn so things may well change!

Ah every day is fun when you're 3! My DD found Woburn a bit stressful yesterday, it was freaking packed. Today we have been packing to move and she has had a blast in the boxes and looking at forgotten things and bouncing on her space hopper.
She is a nightmare to get out the house, but then again so am I :D happiness is not doing what you feel you should be, surely?! Just doing what you like!

My children are 1.7 & 3.2 and i find it hard to get out and about. Most of my friends only have 1 child and are always out doing things and i do get envious but with both of mine i struggle. I am a single parent and find it hard to control them both on my own now DS can run!

I tend to take my DC to a local park and we do beastie hunts or we watch TV in the house and make cakes, makes dens to eat the cakes in or play with play doh. They also love cleaning the cupboards out and hoovering!! DD made up a game today whereby my bed was an aeroplane and the teddies were the passengers so we had to make them cups of tea and sandwiches - im lucky that she is incredibly imaginative.

Sometimes we have days in the house where we are all totally bored, like the last few days where its been cold and rainy. I dont think theres anything wrong with kids being bored, gives us chance to all cuddle up on the sofa together. I always think that one day they will be teenagers and wont want to do things with me. Love and security (and a good pair of shoes) is all they need.

The other thing is we go to everything, every event in the city we live in we are there, firestation open days, pride parade, open air theatre, toy swaps, music performances, Viking reenactments and dance shows are some of the things we have done this summer, they were all free and it's fun for me to experience these things aswell.

Like mrsterryprachett we used to be out all the time when DS was younger because he was just much harder work if we stayed in. At 4.5 he will now cope with being in for half a day without climbing the walls but we still go out everyday even if it's just a long walk to the shop round the corner - the gremlins come out if DS stays in all day!

We have annual tickets for the local zoo and local house and gardens which DS loves going to [odd child] and together with free visits to local parks, supermarkets or to friends are most of what we do.

I've found more and more that big days out are often more trouble than they're worth and actually the days where you go with the flow and just potter around locally go best of all.

I don't know what a day "resting" is for you but my ds is a bit of a nightmare playing in the house for more than 2-3hrs in a day. He's great at eating out and quite likes the bike seat or backpack and loves crowds/people (he's a nosy bugger). So it might seem like we are always doing great things out and about but that's cause if I try to "rest" at home he ends up clingy and whining and destroying stuff.

DC aren't interested in all that much until they are 4/5. Parks, picnics and swimming are exciting at that age and you don't need to do special things all the time.

We go out and about most days the older DCs aren't at school, and I do a couple of baby groups too. We go to the beach and do watercolours of the sea or go to the Chinese supermarket and buy new and interesting things to eat for dinner.

I don't clean ever very much tho. If you came to mine you'd probably come away feeling like the smug parent. Swings and roundabouts innit.

Well me and DH both work so every day can't be a marvellous day of family fun. But surely life in general is marvellous for pre-schoolers?
At the weekend we usually go for breakfast and then to the playground or beach or into town and this is certainly most marvellous for us all.

However the hands-down most marvellous thing is definitely going to visit either of her grandparents' houses - this happens lots in summer and about every 5 weeks the rest of the year. They have big gardens and animals :)

Ours were way older than yours before we did a full day out. Life was so much easier if they got their naps. We were lucky in that the beach was close enough to go to for just an hour or so.

That's weird, hiccup. DD also loves the local gardens, which are massive and very old-school. It may be that she enjoys the attention of thousands of older people all telling her how cute and sweet she is.

I think 'marvellous' days out are a rare thing with small children. You might get lucky but often high expectations eg a theme park, leads to over excitement and tears etc.

I'd keep it low key...mine were happy with picnic in the park (picnic consisted of orange squash and a biscuit), going to the swings, feed the ducks etc.

Now they are a bit older we do much the same plus a bit of swimming, or bike ride to the park, or often just walk the dog somewhere different as a 'day out'. Take a frisbee or kite, and 'picnic' (still squash and biscuits!).

It'll be marvellous because you all have low expectations and low stress and low cost.

We have always done loads of trips out, some big, some small, because I find it much much easier than staying in.

If we stay at home I can't help but see the housework that needs to be done, and find it almost impossible to play with the kids when I know the washing is sitting in the machine waiting to be hung out, or it's getting close to lunch time and no lunch has been made (I'm a single parent). If I manage to ignore the jobs and just play, the house is totally trashed, because the kids want to change games every half hour. By 2pm we're all grumpy, half dressed, and the house is a tip. I never understand how people can think a "pyjama day" is a luxurious easy option!

If we go out there are a couple of slightly stressful hours in the morning, getting us ready, packed lunches made, route planned etc - but then after that it's plain saling. Whatever place we've gone to provides the entertainment. If I'm tired (which I always am) then I find walking round a museum or theme park much less tiring than crawling on the floor pretending to be a zombie. And some museums, such as the national space centre which is near us, have wonderful beautiful lovely things called...planetariums....where you can lie down beneath the stars and sleep for half an hour!

Then we get home, the house isn't trashed, the kids are worn out and ready for bed, and I feel like we've achieved something.

It's expensive though, but can be made cheaper by obsessive collecting of vouchers!

We occasionally go on day trips to beach/ safari park but to be honest kids love local play park/afternoons in garden 'helping' me etc just as much. Sometimes we have a pj day on a Saturday if we are all shattered from a busy week of work/school/nursery and they draw/watch films/make endless junk models etc
Try not to put pressure on yourself- time with your kids is time with your kids reached less of where you are!

christmas and birthdays

Sailing not saling

Mine think play doh or playing football at the park is fantastic.

We also have DC aged 3 and 1. We're out all the time - parks, farms, theatre, beach, countryside, soft play, swimming, museums, National Trust, etc. They love anything involving a train journey, a boat trip or a black cab. I think it gets easier the more you do it as DC learn how they are expected to behave when out and about.

DS1 goes crackers if we stay in at home much. In terms of behaviour management, going out is actually easier. He is not remotely interested in cooking, crafts, gardening or other homey things (I wish he were). Neither of them will tolerate more than about 15 mins of telly.

One of the fabbest mums I know has been hideously sleep deprived for years as her DD is a shocking sleeper. She doesn't drive or have many pennies to rub together so they do few trips out but her DD has the most amazing imagination built on the games they play at home, junk modelling and stories they make up together. I'd love us to do this sort of thing but DS1 isn't having it.

It depends on your kids.