I feel like I am. Feel really guilty

[Hurr1cane]

So DS had a TA last year who was amazing, properly properly amazing. He was a changed child.

So he is moving schools this year and I decided to keep her on as her PA because she has been so good for him, but I don't get direct payments for him but I worked out that we could JUST afford 2 hours a week at £10 an hour if we were really frugal.

Anyway usually she takes him out swimming and to mcdonalds, for 2 hours, I pay her for her time and give her extra money for the price of swimming and a happy meal.

But this week she wanted to take him out today instead of yesterday so she could have an extra day on her holiday, fine, until we realised that all the pools here are closed for bank holiday

So she offered to take him to the beach instead. The beach is an hour away, so I said no, we could only afford 2 hours so she could take him to the park near us if she wanted. She then said she doesn't care about the extra money and she would take her dogs as well as long as I didn't mind DS being late back and take them all to the beach killing 2 birds with one stone and just accept 2 hours pay even though it's clearly going to be longer than that, they've been gone 3 hours already.

I have managed to blitz the house and tidy all the toys out of the garden and now I'm sitting down having 5 minutes feeling terrible that she's going to be working for basically free for an hour or two. But I really really can't afford anymore.

I feel so bad.

DS hasn't slept for about a week either so I'm also ridiculously grateful for the chance to catch up with the housework.

He's back and he had loads of fun. But now hand reared kitten is missing and that's something brand new to worry about

I'm glad they had a good time :)

Any chance the kitten could have got out while they were coming in?

If not, it's probably just napping somewhere - they sleep sooooooooooooo much. Except at night! Hope you find it soon!

Literally just as I posted that, DP went out to shout her and heard her meowing and running from miles away! She's now eating the good cat meat, I might even nick some of DPs tuna later to sneak her

I've never felt relief like it!

But taking help is something I don't seem to manage well.

I completely understand, but you have to think of it as accepting help on your son's behalf- you might be glad of the break as well, but it's primarily for your son's benefit rather than as a 'treat' for you, so focus on that element of it and it might seem easier! I'm glad you've both had a good day - things have been tough for both of you recently and I'm sure this TA is more than happy to know that she's been able to help.

I'm glad the naughty little moppet is back safe!!

I regularly do favours /extras for people at no cost. I don't mind! I would think she though ds would love to go to the seaside and you might need a break. Similarly, I have a lovely friend who has done me so many favours its actually embarrassing.

I would say she was just being nice. You are stressing about money, but it might not even occur to her.

If you feel you must talk to her and explain. I don't know that you need to though..