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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do Nct again?

23 replies

cleoteacher · 23/08/2014 21:12

Put on here as unsure which thread topic was best. So please be nice.

Expecting dc 2 in feb when ds1 will be 26 months. We did Nct the first time and I found it reasonably useful but not very helpful in terms of the birth. Met a nice group through it who we get on well with but never got into weekly meetings with and see each other from time to time with no contact between meets. I did get closer to one girl who I see regularly and another who I see fairly regularly .

However, we moved shortly after ds was born in dec 2012 just to the other side of the city.

I feel nervous about having dc2 and how I will manage and feel I would like to meet people who are going through the same thing and have same/similar age gap. As although I have several friends I only have one who is also having dc2 around the same time with similiar age gap. I feel sad when other people say oh all my friends/Nct group had their second at the same time as me! Unfortunately that's not the case with me but wish it was.

So was wondering about doing a Nct refresher course. However the only reason thinking might do this is to meet another group of people who live in local area who are having their second or third child at the same time. It's also because we have moved so would be nice to have more people (currently have. Three friends and dsis who live in local area) Worried this is a bit sad though and we will be judged when people find out age of ds as it's not like we re doing it for the information! Also worried it's a lot of money to spend when might not meet anyone anyway as I know there is no guarentee.

I know I could try and meet people through groups etc but I am not very good at this and have only made one friend this way. Plus everyone I know with two says you don't go to baby groups and hang out with existing friends which makes me feel like Nct is the only way to meet anyone with two dcs similar ages.

Wwyd?

OP posts:

ArsenicyOldFace · 23/08/2014 21:15

I'm wondering similar, should my current TTCing work out. But the gap would be larger than a decade. So watching with interest

Original poster

cleoteacher · 23/08/2014 21:19

Think that big a gap is reasonable as you would probably have forgotten but a gap of two years would be pretty obvious that we haven't forgotten. Plus, feel it's likely no-one with same age gap will be there anyway. Seems most people have their second at same times as friends.

OP posts:

Munxx · 23/08/2014 21:20

I have 20mo between my two. I didn't do NCT first time around and was lucky to make friends through some lovely toddler groups.

I did the NCT classes with DC2 and it was a brilliant decision, I made a group of fab chums who I met up with every week until the babies were about 1. My DC1 was in nursery that day exhausted made it easier, and I also got to feel like a "new mum" with my wee one in a pram rather than lugging about the sling/buggy and enormous changing bag. I made some great friends and as a result I feel very lucky to have a great circle of support from people I met from a variety of groups and places.

Fedupofplaystation · 23/08/2014 21:21

No advice, but watching with interest as we have moved counties since having Dd1 and I'm now panicking about having no other adults in my the new area to meet up with etc.
I fear the classes will be frustrating as, due to my job (and Dd1) I already have knowledge in the area of child birth, but wonder if they're worth it, just to meet people.

Munxx · 23/08/2014 21:21

Forgive types, exhausted should say which made it!! Maybe I'm too tired...

ImATotJeSuisUneTot · 23/08/2014 21:22

YANBU - The friendships were the best thing to come out of my NCT classes, especially for those early weeks of support. I did them with DP for my second child, and it was worth it for that alone.

If you can afford it, go for it.

ArsenicyOldFace · 23/08/2014 21:24

It depends what you go for. I always prefer written information combined with instinct for medical and babycare issues anyway. So just trying to decide if I would want a new (largeish) 'mum circle' or if i'd feel old and blase in a organised 'group'

I am in fact so old and blase that the local NHS hospital ran groups/classes indistinguishable from NCT when I had my first, so I did those and then NCT refresher for my second.

Deelish75 · 23/08/2014 21:41

We're doing it again. There will be a nearly six year age gap and we've moved away since DS was born. DP really wanted to do it again as he'd forgotten a lot of it, and I, although I've made some new friends through DS's school, am looking forward to making new friends (just hoping the people we meet are as good as last time).

KnittedJimmyChoos · 23/08/2014 22:24

yes def do it, you will meet totally new people who may be utterly wonderful! you have nothing to loose.

Firsttimemum2012 · 23/08/2014 22:33

NCT run refresher courses for second time+ mums - shorter and cover things like how to help the elder sibling adjust to the new arrival. I will have 33 months between mine and thinking of doing the refresher.

Firsttimemum2012 · 23/08/2014 22:36

Sorry just realised it was the rusher course that you were thinking of doing! The point is that the course covers different things to first time mums course so could still be useful as well as meeting friends.

Original poster

cleoteacher · 23/08/2014 22:41

Yes, was meaning a refresher course as don't need to do the whole thing again. Ah I didn't know it covers different things, that's useful to know.

OP posts:

ladybirdandsnails · 23/08/2014 22:43

In my area nct is huge for meeting mums with babies the same age so I would say why not.

Elmersnewfriend · 23/08/2014 22:47

I was going to say - why do all of that again if you've done it once - you only do it for a friendship group. But that's exactly what you're after, so why not?

How old is your older one though? School can be great in terms of meeting people, opportunities to get involved with things etc. It might just be a cheaper route?

Pico2 · 23/08/2014 22:50

I think that plenty of the people on the refresher course will be doing it for the same reason. They might not say it though.

bbkl · 23/08/2014 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

cleoteacher · 23/08/2014 22:52

My elders will be 26 months so way off the school option at the moment.

OP posts:

NormHonal · 23/08/2014 22:54

YANBU, we moved between DC1 and DC2 and found a couple of good friends through doing NCT again. My friends from the first group were all at a different stage with their DC2s and so it was great to have someone at the same stage to discuss stitches/weight gain/etc in detail over coffee.

museumum · 23/08/2014 22:57

I did pregnancy yoga instead as I really fancied the benefits of that and wasn't too fussed about all the nct emphasis on the birth itself.
Also made friends at my nhs classes.

kaymondo · 23/08/2014 22:57

When I did nct, 5 out of the 6 couples in our group were all very open about the fact that they were only doing it to meet people, not for the actual classes themselves so I wouldn't worry about people thinking you're odd for doing it for that reason!

BikeRunSki · 23/08/2014 22:58

Why don't you jog along to done NCT coffee mornings / baby groups? Have you got a local Surestart centre?? Look and see what they've got on .

BikeRunSki · 23/08/2014 23:01

I meant to say "go along", not "Jog along".

Original poster

cleoteacher · 24/08/2014 15:55

Thanks guys have looked up refresher ones and there is one in the local area but at hosts house which I think is a bit strange. Plus dh only goes to one session. Not booked yet but think will give it some thought.

OP posts:

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