about summer schools?

[dancestomyowntune]

have just discovered that a family member has been badmouthing me
apparently i am a bad mother because dd1 (11) has done three summer schools this year and hasn't had a chance to have her break from school.

yes, i admit, dd1 has had a very busy summer. she started the holidays with a weeks dance competition. the second week she did a performing arts summer school she had asked to do. the next week she the summer school put on by her dance school which she really enjoyed and got tons out of. her regular teachers felt her technique improved for doing that.

last week (and this is, i think, where the bone of contention has come from) she attended a summer school at her new secondary school. this is the one i think has been most beneficial to her, because she has a selective place at a school in the next town and is going up not knowing anyone, and has had to learn the bus route as well as all the school issues like where everything is, who everyone is etc. at the start of the week she went timidly not knowing what to expect, by friday she had made friends, was confident going on the bus on her own and feels much happier about the transition.

now, she has ten days of holidays left and apart from having to get her kitted out for school she has made plans to meet up with friends, shes got a couple of singing/dance lessons booked in and she has a fitting for pointe shoes.

the family member who has been bad mouthing me "doesn't agree" with any of the summer schools as they have prevented dd from having a "proper summer holiday". we hadn't planned to go away, having already had 2 holidays (one in feb half term and one in may half term) and another planned for autumn half term. dd has enjoyed, and got a lot out of all the courses she has attended. she would have liked to have done another week at one of the big dance schools in london but i had to draw the line somewhere!!! dd has always attended summer schools and activities and i find it bizarre that i am being slated for encouraging her to improve her skills in her summer break.

so AIBU to send her to summer school?

YANBU. It sounds as though your DD has had a fantastic holiday doing lots of things she enjoys. Plus, the week at high school has prepared her for the new term.

I'd ignore the relative, they obviously don't know what they're talking about.

Yanbu, the things she has done are fun camps, not school.

Of course YANBU. Said family member is probably feeling guilty that she hasn't provided that much entertainment for her own kids and is projecting.

Goodness me, she's obviously had some fun and made some memories. And has already had two holidays! And that's why they have transition weeks - to get more confidence before school starts.

I'd probably call up the person and ask what the problem was with my daughter having fun in the school holidays doing what she loves to do. And suggest if they have a problem with what my daughter is doing to come to me first before badmouthing me to the family. Sort it out at source before it festers.

I used to spend all my summer holidays doing drama summer schools, church holiday clubs, guides camp etc when I was that age and I loved it. much better than sitting at home all day bored!!

Sounds like she's had a great summer. My dd did the days at secondary school and it really helped her with the move. They did quizzes to find things, places and teachers around the school, so she knew where she was going on the first day of term and had some friends.

I've just taught in secondary transition summer school for two weeks, so I've had a lot of teacher friends admonishing ME for not having a proper summer holiday!

Personally, I think this is the best programme we run in school. There are now 25 children who are no longer afraid to start school in September (who may have school-refused as a result). Besides, it's FUN! We did kayaking and sailing at the beach all day yesterday. Good on you for sending your DC on some fun summer school activities.

It's horses for courses - my kids would loathe that kind of structure during the holidays, but some kids like it. You know your daughter best, and if she likes to have her time filled with organised activities then YANBU to arrange them for her.

Yanbu, your dd has enjoyed the summer schools so it's fine. It would be different if you were forcing her to do them and she wasn't keen.

thank you.

i was quite hurt. this is the same arm of the family that couldn't even muster a congratulations when we announced our latest pregnancy so i don't know why i am surprised really.

the transition week at high school was fabulous. dd missed her induction days because she was on a residential with her primary school, so it was great for her to get the chance to meet some of her form group and they really seem to have gelled well together. she had five days of learning how to get to school, how to get around school, who the key members of staff are, where everything is... and it was completely free! they even took them out for lunch every day and she won prizes for the work she had done.

but apparently it was cruel to send her to school in the holidays.

Horses for courses... And YANBU at all.

We are coming to end of action packed summer holiday for Dd1(12) and dd2(10). I was off all summer, but they still did gymnastics training camp, residential suzuki violin camp, computer camp, and an outdoor adventure/activity camp. And 2.5 weeks holiday abroad.
Like your DD, my DDs requested most of these camps. Kept them engaged , and off their iPods!
It had been hetic, but DDs enjoyed it.

Your relative is unreasonable, and rude.

Ah, sounds like she's had a fantastic holiday. Thank you for telling us all about it.

No, the relative has a different opinion to you, tht's all
.He/she is entitled to her own opinion, and this does not constitute 'bad mouthing'

My DC have no the done a weeks tennis camp and a weeks swim camp. DD has also done 3 days of pony club camp (sort of - at riding school) and a week at school holiday club and DS has done 3 days cricket and a week's golf. It was a combination of occupying them while we work and what they wanted to do. They have had a really good summer, in fact even if mine has been shit because we had to cancel our holiday

I sent DS to the school holiday club before he started primary school. It was really good as it meant he was comfortable in the place and knew some people (we had just moved so he wouldn't have known anyone at all otherwise). The same at senior school, and free to boot, sounds fantastic and definitely an opportunity not to miss.

No the = both.

My dd has done three weeks at different dance summer schools, and is about to do her fourth! She would go mad with boredom if she was stuck at home and not dancing.

Nobody understands what it's like having a performer for a dc - unless they've got one... !

Seems a bit sad to only have 10 days holiday, but on the other hand your dd presumably chose all her activities and had fun. My dd loves to do stuff but also gets very tired and needs unstructured time too, so apart from two weeks at drama camp she has had quite a quiet summer. If she only had a week and a bit downtime she'd not be ready for next term. Having said that where I live (Canada) they get much longer summer holidays and very little time off the rest of the year. This year we've also had teacher's strikes so they will have potentially three months off!

Celebrate that she wants to do so much! I am at the end of my tether with my eldest 2 DC who have spent the best part of 7 weeks doing SFA! Literally nothing at all! No drive or motivation to do anything but mooch around their rooms. Good on her and you!

My DS has special needs and he has packed weeks! Obviously with me there as his 1:1

Mondays - special needs multi sports
Tuesdays- rest day.
Wednesday - rebound therapy
Thursday - rebound therapy
Friday - special needs cycling
Saturday - rest day
Sunday - swimming.

And he's still bloody bored as soon as he gets back home!

If I didn't plan activities for him every single day, he'd be climbing the walls.

It sounds like she enjoyed it. How can that be a waste of the holidays?