AIBU to think that this is a bit weird?

[LaVieBoheme]

Long time lurker, first time poster!

Earlier, I went to a takeaway. While waiting for my order, the man serving me was just chatting to me about my degree and other small talk. Then, he randomly asks me if I am a lesbian (I am). I felt a bit shocked that he randomly asked me this but said yes anyway. He then proceeded to tell me that he just "had a feeling" that I was gay (bear in mind I am probably as feminine as you can get, so not working on stereotypes). He told me not to be offended by this, and then also asked me why some lesbians refuse to even talk to men (not that I have ever come across anyone like that, personally) before I got my order and left pretty quickly.

AIBU to think that this whole conversation was a bit weird?

To be fair, he didn't ask if you enjoyed having sex with women- just whether or not you did :-)

You've made me long for BBQ chicken and cheesy chips, and here I am living in the middle of nowhere with no takeaway for miles and miles...

Egghead He was alright until he asked that, we'd been talking for a few minutes before then. I definitely felt put on the spot, I think I was just too shocked to call him out on it, usually I'm not one to shy away from calling people out but I honestly didn't know what else to say! that and I wanted my food as quick as possible..

If you are 'as feminine as you can get' then I can only assume that he has seen you with a girlfriend. Either that, or you are not as feminine as you think!

Still avery odd and intrusive question though.

Joffrey do Lesbian women refer to themselves as "dykes" ? Genuinely wondering as I thought it an offensive term . . . or has it been reclaimed?

Grumpasaur Fair point haha!

Marcipex I overestimated how much I could actually eat, I'll send it your way

Balloon I personally use it, and don't really get offended if anyone calls me it, but I know one of my friends hates the word and won't stand anyone using it

Yum, thank you!

And yes, the bloke is weird.

YANBU. It was nosy and weird.

I'd suggest a one-woman boycott, but the food sounds too good...!

This wasn't a bit weird.

It was very, very, very weird. Also nosy and intrusive.

Foolish It is ridiculously good, and actually cheap. I have only ever been there about 3/4 times in the last year I have lived round here but I love it too much to give up, despite the personal questions!

I wonder what he'll ask you next time!

Joffrey do Lesbian women refer to themselves as "dykes" ? Genuinely wondering as I thought it an offensive term . . . or has it been reclaimed?

No idea.

Didn't it used to be quite offensive? Not sure it's really used now.

I worked with a colleague who was gay.
I had short hair, she had chin length hair.
I got "accused" of being gay ALL THE TIME so it must have been a gay hair do (but I can't see the photo as I'm on my phone)

I was called a dyke once in a banter/jokey way by a friend and I remember thinking 'oh hang on, I'm supposed to be offended by that' but I couldn't quite muster it up tbh. Especially as earlier in the evening I'd actually been in an argument with another lesbian about how I couldn't possibly be gay because I looked straight.

Maybe it's offensive if you're a bit sensitive about your looks? i.e. The kind of lesbian who looks a bit butch a tank top whereas they were actually going for more of an Angelina-Jolie-in-Tomb-Raider look.

The gay hair styles are quite inclusive, apparently lesbians have ponytails a lot. A bit like many people then.

i think its bloody rude myself! glad you enjoyed your takeaway tho

FacebookWillEatItself - "If you are 'as feminine as you can get' then I can only assume that he has seen you with a girlfriend. Either that, or you are not as feminine as you think!"

So, anyone who isn't overly feminine is automatically a lesbian? I have lesbian friends who are as feminine as Kim Kardashian and others who have shaved heads and wear three-piece suits and cufflinks on a night out. I am straight but have shaved half my hair off in the past and enjoy flannel shirts and Doc Martens - does that mean I'm secretly gay? What a ridiculous statement to make.