To be cross about this even though I should probably let it go.

[Sleepswithbutterflies]

Ds has just finished reception. For long and convoluted reasons we are moving him to a new school in September. We had a meeting with the deputy head in June and told her we were concerned about some things and were considering a move. She acknowledged our concerns and said she would speak to the head (who the meeting should have been with anyway but was changed at the last minute).
We heard nothing.
We have heard nothing from the head at all and nothing further from the deputy.
We went ahead and moved our son.
There is another mother who is considering moving her child. Apparently the deputy head has told her 'to think very carefully because little sleep's mother is really regretting her decision to move little sleeps and wishes she had left him here.'

I trust the other mother and don't think she would make this up. I'm really annoyed about it. Firstly because it's a lie and secondly because in my opinion she shouldn't be bringing anything to do with anyone else up with another parent.

I know it doesn't really matter, ds is leaving anyway. But Aibu to be really cross?

I think you are BU to immediately believe what this other parent has told you. It would be a VERY rare HT who would say something so silly. Is the other parent someone you trust?

YANBU.

You haven't even started at the new school yet, so it's bloody obvious you won't have a particular opinion, let alone regrets, yet.

Perhaps something has been misunderstood along the line?

I'd be livid. I know it doesn't matter, but your choices are not a tool for persuasion, especially when they involve lies.

I'd make it very clear I'm not regretting anything of the sort to anyone who asks.

YANBU, that would really piss me off, and I would probably say something...

Only if you are 100% sure it is true though...

Is it possible the other parent has said this in an effort to get your real feelings before she makes such a big decision? That she's making it up? People make shit up ALL the time...it counfounds me...I only realised recently and I'm 42!

I don't think so.
For reasons that would make me very identifiable I am pretty certain it's the truth.
It was the deputy who said this, not the head.

Even if it was true she would be wrong to discuss it with another parent.

Does the deputy head know you are (apparently) close to this mother? Even if not, it shows a pretty startling degree of unprofessionalism, and of emotional and social incompetence, for the DHT to have said such a thing. Of course there was a risk you two would discuss this!

I don't think you need to do anything other than point this out to the other mother. If she was telling the truth, she is the one in a position to make a complaint to the HT, and is also in a position to decide whether she believes in the school's management (given such a crazy remark from a responsible individual).

If she was lying, her stratagem (goodness knows what that could be, but let's imagine it was to make you look like a vindictive harpy determined to make everyone else agree with your anger at the school) will have failed.

Of course, it's always possible that you are lying, to a third family, that a friend of yours is also planning to leave, but has been told this funny thing by the DHT, etc.... and you have planted this "story" on MN!

Och, let it go.
I trust you corrected the other parent.

I would normally say leave it but in this instance I think the school are afraid they are getting a poor reputation and are willing to say anything to reduce impact???